Tips for parents: whether to spoil the children

I am a four-year mother and have always believed that a lotlove does not happen. I always try to buy quality toys and clothes for my daughter, to feed them with healthy food. And I try to pacify their stupid desire to buy half a store of children's accessories. I want everything to be, but in moderation. But in the end we still came to the conclusion that the child did not learn to appreciate his things. New toys are quickly forgotten, the daughter is not ready to take care of her new dresses, but wants to put on her immediately, and to sit at the table in them. And now I think where and what was missed in education. Or is it normal and just typical of age?A photo: Getty Keep a distance In smart articles on this topic it says that children from birth to 2 years should not be denied the desire to be with mom as long as they want. Crying - take in your arms, fell - take pity, wants to fall asleep next - let it be so. And all this without fear that you spoil your child. The connection between mother and baby is much more important, because it will grow in any case, but these first moments are the first smiles, the first words, the first steps are unique and priceless. It is much worse when parents seek to isolate themselves from the baby and justify it. by the fact that they don’t want to “flatter” and “squeeze” But these are the nerves that should, in order, following, for example, the advice of the same Benjamin Spock, not to react to the child’s heart-rending screams and enable him to cry, to conclude that he should cope on his own. The only conclusion that a kid can do is it's that mom and dad can not expect to turn out. And no one will convince me that in this way benefit is achieved. If the parents of a small, helpless child are not helpers, then what can they demand from a matured child? From here, in my opinion, the legs grow in those cases when children forget their “old men”, throw them out without pity for the street and sell them at home. But this is nonsense! More importantly, we did not surrender the bastions!Photo: Getty Everything can be There is another extreme. Often, moms and dads have to work hard to ensure a decent living for their family. The child in this case, as a rule, is forgotten-forgotten. In order to compensate for their absence and make amends, parents begin to give their children presents and remove restrictions. Should I explain what is fraught with such a model of behavior. Toys accumulate, permissiveness turns into tyranny and manipulation by the child. Besides, growing without taboos has another negative consequence - the child is simply uncomfortable. After all, in fact, it is very convenient to know the limits of what is permissible, that this is what I can do, and then - the edge. But if everything is possible, the boundaries of the permitted are erased. And if you do not know where to stay, the picture of the world is greatly distorted. Add to this the unstable childish psyche, and later - the maximalism of puberty and get a jerky creature that does not perceive refusals.Photo: GettyAll Nothing. There is also an inflection. How can a child learn about the world, if he does not even touch it? I personally do not understand these moms who, for example, take their children out for a walk in the best outfits. And it turns out that it is impossible to sand the grass, it’s impossible to fall onto the grass, and to eat ice cream on the street is a catastrophe in general. The same story is within the house. Paints, plasticine, flower pots, mother's cosmetics under the strictest ban for seven locks. It will be possible when he grows up. Right? After all, not age, but skill is important. You can give the markers for the first time in 7 years, but the craving for painting the dolls and walls from this will not go anywhere. Let it be better that everything starts and ends in due time. There is a good rule: everything is permitted that is not dangerous. Matches, needles - away, higher. Washing powder is also desirable out of sight. It is better to control games with phone, tablet, other expensive gadgets. Yes, and drugs! So that they could not be seen at all! Everything else (or almost everything) is quite fit for comprehension. After all, you, like any normal parent, will still be there and tell you, help, if something does not work out the first time. And the reward will be a grateful, confident child who is able to serve himself. There are not many things that can not be spoiled. There are not many of them, no matter how many years we have. First, hugging. All children love it, all parents are thrilled with it. Do not think that the child will suffer from the fact that he will spend a lot of time on your lap. Secondly, do not be afraid to once again regret and console if something unpleasant has happened. At first we whisper something soothing in our ear, and then we are already trying to figure out why it happened and how to fix it. And thirdly, there are never many impressions. Sitting in the four walls does not develop horizons. Attractions, zoos, trips and trips anywhere will bring a lot of positive emotions. Especially if the parents themselves get pleasure from it. After all, the child can not be fooled, even the smallest crumb will understand if adults are not sincere enough.A photo: GettyNo matter what, and without self-indulgence there is no childhood. And if in time to destroy on the vine all possible banks, there is a great chance to grow a harmoniously developed personality. Understand only, you need a balanced child, or just obediently following your rules. Do you fulfill all the whims of the child?

I buy what I ask, allow what I want: I want him to remember his childhood happy
I try to dose: I won't buy the 10th dinosaur, but we really have a lot of toys
I try to buy expensive toys only on holidays or occasions so that he appreciates what he has
My child knows the word "no", I don't want him to grow up thinking that everything comes easy and on a silver platter
I'll write my version in the comments.

Voted: 71A you perform all the whims of the child?

I buy what I ask, allow what I want: I want him to remember his childhood happy12.7%
I try to dose: I won't buy the 10th dinosaur, but we really have a lot of toys 38.0%
I try to buy expensive toys only on holidays or occasions so that he appreciates having 23.9%
My child knows the word "no", I don't want him to grow up thinking that everything comes easy and on a silver platter23.9%
I will write my version in the comments 1.4%

Voted: 71