My friend-classmate is still in the "pre-Eight" erashe wanted to enter the economist, but failed to take exams at the university. Money for paid training was not found, and she went to work. A year later, a friend realized that the economist's profession was clearly not for her. I entered a different profession, and now she is a successful web designer. "How good that it all happened," the girlfriend often said. "Although I was so ashamed after school." You all did, some parents attached money to someone, I'm just a stupid loser ...
A photo: Getty Images The current graduates are even more difficult. Earlier, before the Unified State Examination, even desperate dvoechniki received certificates - even on the triple the teacher's assessment could be pulled. Now for the failure in the exams, students are given only a certificate. How insulting and bitter the child must be when his peers at the graduation get crusts with certificates, and he is nothing but a piece of paper. At that moment he especially needs the support of his parents. About how to comfort a child who did not pass the USE, Wday told a well-known child psychologist Larisa Surkova:
Don't look for the guilty
After failing the exam, many parents sinin everything for school, teachers, the very child. It is ungrateful to look for the guilty. Always guilty is at least two, and sometimes three or more sides. The result of the USE depends on several factors. This is the parents, the child and the school. Not one of them can not be thrown out in case of failure. To blame someone is, of course, a defensive reaction peculiar to people. But it is better to analyze the situation first, to think what is the reason for the failure.
Don't bully
It is important to remember: the USE is not the end of the world. Even if the child did not surrender, the world will not turn over. Perhaps this is even a better outcome. The child will have time to rethink the situation, think about the future, decide what he wants to do: get a job, maybe even go into the army. Remember yourself in his years, remember what a reassessment of values after a while, and immediately realize that no catastrophe has happened. Unfortunately, sometimes parents only make things worse. Begin to rot children for unsolicited USE and even lead to suicide. In no event can you say phrases from the category: "You are no longer my son / daughter", "I will never be able to forgive you", "Do not pass the exam - do not come home "," You are the shame of our family "," This brand is for life ". Do not need these disasters!
Make future plans together
Comforting the child, speak sincerely about yourfeelings: "Yes, I'm upset, upset. Yes, I was waiting for another result, but this is not the end, we will cope with it. Let's think about what plans you have for life, what would you like to do. Perhaps you will get a job, start more serious preparation for exams. "Do not throw the child face to face with the problem - make plans together how to solve it.
Don't delay taking a break
Is it necessary to immediately write down the child onpreparatory courses or demand that he get a job? Much depends on family plans. Someone in advance plans to leave, travel. What is the point of canceling them? Why punish yourself and the child? But of course, to say: "Rest for a year," I think is wrong. As I said, there are three guilty sides in the failure of the USE, and each of them must assume some kind of responsibility. Parents need to review the situation, the child - make more effort to prepare.
Learn to think about the future
Some parents take their child under strict controlcontrol: they didn't keep an eye on it at school, but now we won't let them off easy. Is it necessary? It's a controversial issue. Most often, children fail the Unified State Exam not because they were not supervised. The question is, what result do you expect? Do you want your child to become independent, to be able to make their own decisions? Failure to pass the Unified State Exam, with the right approach from parents and children, changes a lot in their life. They begin to understand what independence is, they seriously think about their life prospects, what they can do without an education, how much they will earn. However, all these prospects need to be correctly voiced to them.
