The main enemy is perfectionism
It's impossible to do everything.Especially if you have three children, work in several places and don’t have a stable schedule. And you also want to look good, travel, watch TV series, drink wine and meet with your girlfriends. You have to understand: you can’t be in three places at once. So every time you have to choose where you are needed most. I decide everything depending on the importance of the moment. For example, today I have a live broadcast on the radio, and I won’t be able to go to the school matinee. But I’ll ask our classmate’s mother to film this matinee, and in the evening we’ll watch the video together with the child. And tomorrow he has an exam, and it’s important for me to support him. So I’ll cancel my trip to the beauty salon and spend this time with the child.
Photo: Tutty Larsen's personal archive
I choose to wear by force
Don't hesitate to seek support and help everywhere,wherever possible. Because there is nothing worse than a "burnt-out" mother who is fed up with everything. Next to me is a man who can replace me in many ways. We are one team. With Valery, I can leave all the children, even the smallest. Plus there is a nanny who also helps.
The more children, the easier
The hardest thing is when you have one child andyou have little experience. You bring all your hopes, fears, desire to give love down on one little person. This makes it incredibly difficult for both him and you. The more children you have, the easier the relationship. This does not mean that you love them less. It is just that unimportant things fall away by themselves, like chaff. You react only to what is really necessary. And you stop trying to do everything, to be the best mother and raise the best child. You start to simply live with children.
Photo: Tutty Larsen's personal archive
Children's jealousy is absolutely normal
I don't know a single family that doesn't havesuch manifestations. And if you meet mega-compliant children, then it looks very much like a staged story. My children do not kill each other in the fight for their mother's love. Although the eldest son Luka "trolls" Marfa from time to time. And Marfa can be offended by him. I try to give the children the opportunity to solve their own problems. As a rule, in situations when a brother and sister quarrel, there is no right and guilty. Both are good. Someone teased someone, someone answered someone, did not give in, tried to set up. So both of us get something. It is better for them to be offended by their mother than by each other.
No need to be tough
Although sometimes for educational purposes thisthe situation requires. Once Luka wanted a longboard (skateboard. – Note from Telesem) for his birthday. We agreed that he would get it if he didn’t lie about his grades, studies and homework. But he couldn’t keep his word. I even consulted with subscribers and psychologists on Instagram about this situation. In the end, we made a decision based on how ready Luka was to take on some responsibility and fulfill our conditions. It’s important to show generosity here, to say: “I love you, I want to surprise you. But next time I’ll do it differently. And I want you to appreciate my action.” I’m not sure that will work. Children are children. It’s very difficult for them to hold attention, to keep promises. We were like that ourselves. But if a child makes at least a small attempt, it will already be useful.
Photo: personal archive of Tutta Larsen
