Infinite "Maaaam!"
Very often a child who, with the onset of summerbecame more time to spend at home, requires special attention to yourself. Moms know how tedious this infinite is: play with me, sit with me and so on. What to do? First of all, in any case, do not get irritated. Olga Grinko, psychologist:
"This behavior of the child indicates that,that he lacks your presence. We forget that the amount of time spent with a child is not always equal to its quality. For example, you cook dinner, and the child plays next. The fact that you periodically submit "signs of life", paying attention to him or his game, does not mean that you are involved in the process. Try this method: spend with the child as much time as he needs, fully involved in the process. This means that you must give yourself completely to the game: to be present with your body, mind, soul. Believe me, soon the child "will be satisfied" and he will switch off from the joint game. And after that, you will have some time left for your business. Of course, you can not play enough with a child for a year ahead. But you will know for sure how much time you need to give to your child so that he feels happy, and how long then he will be busy with himself, without drawing your attention. "
The collapse of the regime
On vacation, the child leaves the routinedaily routine. He can go to bed later, get up early and spend the whole day devoting to games and entertainment. This, of course, is great. But in working parents, the daily routine does not change in the summer. On this ground there are disagreements. Olga Grinko, psychologist:"After three months of" anarchy, "the child will beit is difficult to re-enter the working rhythm. Therefore, I recommend that even in the summer adhere to the accepted daily routine, although not very harsh. This will avoid stress, when your child will again need to go to school and live according to a strict scenario. In addition, summer is a good time to entrust the child with new duties, according to his age and abilities. After all, when the whole family is assembled, Mom appears much more homework. The most important thing is to properly motivate a small helper. Unfortunately, parents often underestimate the power of right praise. When the child does everything right, it is taken for granted and often not even noted by the parents. But if he did not do something or did something wrong, he gets a flurry of criticism. In the end, it is advantageous for the child to do "not so", because in this case he is paid much more attention. "
At war
When the household spend a lot of time together,Conflicts on the ground of misunderstanding arise often. Most often, mini-battles take place between a child and a parent who are very similar. Olga Grinko, psychologist:"In this case it is very important to stop andto analyze the situation, having weighed the positions of all the participants in the conflict. However, "razrulivat" it is still an adult. It is very important to understand two important things. First: domestic violence is not always physical punishment. Sometimes words we inflict no less harm to a child, traumatizing his psyche. Therefore, even if you are guided by good intentions, it is very important to understand and weigh everything that you say to your child. The second point: problems in dealing with children are often "echoes" of problems from your own childhood. The most productive way is to work with your own parents. Often, a tangle of childish insults, fears and memories can not be unraveled without the help of a psychologist. Effective methodologies such as constellations have now been developed that help to cope with the most complex and chronic problems. "
Work, work and work again
Popular opinion that the child is simple enoughlove, then the process of education is formed as it were by itself, does not stand the test of reality. Raising a child is a daily and purposeful work, which includes not only mom. Olga Grinko, a psychologist:"Child-parent relations are a zone in whichwhich includes all members of the family. Therefore, it is very important for parents to have a unified position on the key issues of child upbringing. Parents should always act as a united front, no matter how one of you would like to try on the role of a "good policeman". In addition, it is important to strike a balance between respect for the child's personality and support for the authority of the parent. I believe that the child needs to talk, negotiate, ask his opinions in most cases. But there are moments, for example, threatening his life and health, when there is no place for "democracy" and your word (and most often - prohibition) should be an immutable law. "Psychological Center" Your Territory of Happy Relations "Address: Karl Marx Ave., 191 / 1Tel: + 7-902-617-14-12; + 7-909-096-68-91Site group "VKontakte"
