About obedience

What to do if a child does not want to hear parents' requests?First, by my rules, you should notspeak more than once. Secondly, the child's psyche is so arranged that the child really can not hear from the first time, so we must work to hear. If you did not wash the dishes, what you asked for, then in the morning you get breakfast in a dirty dish. It's lazy to brush your teeth - take your phone or computer, without raising your voice. By the way, some adults can also not hear from the first time: responsible for this myelin sheath, enveloping nerve fibers, is formed by the age of 30.Photo: Getty Images

About the lies

The child often lies. How to deal with this?First of all, you need to identify the reason why he isthe question is answered untrue. Children's lies have three reasons: fear, benefit and unmotivated lying, when children make up something that did not happen. When you establish the reason why the child does this, you can eliminate it. Then your son or daughter will stop being afraid of you. Or it will become unprofitable for them to lie to you. If you cannot find the reason yourself, I recommend contacting a child psychologist.

About study

My son said that he is not interested in studying at school, and now he has dropped to twos, and is facing failure to pass the test. How can I influence this situation?If your child has dropped to twos, your task is– First of all, take him to a child psychologist and find out why he doesn't want to study. If the specialist determines that everything is fine, leave him alone. Forget about motivation, intelligent conversations, restrictions - it's useless. Let failure to pass be a matter of his choice, let him repeat a year. I'm sure he won't want to fall so far, and the child will start studying on his own. And he will float due to the fact that there is nowhere to go. You can also suggest not going to school, but instead switching to home schooling or the external studies system. And be sure to inform him that according to Russian law, every citizen is obliged to get an education, otherwise he will have to pay a fine.Photo: Getty Images

About money

Should a child have pocket money and how much?From the age of six, children must have pocket money,not "tied" to the behavior, or to the assessments in the school. From this age the child gradually learns how to manage money. The amount should be symbolic, so that you can buy some small things, at the most - a kinder-surprise. If he wants to buy something at a cost more than the money that you give in a week, he will start to postpone. Thus the child grows up, shapes his desires and notices that you are with him. Exceptions can be, only if you notice cigarettes or alcohol - then no pocket money.

About rivalry

My husband is often dissatisfied with his son, constantly makes comments, raises his voice, but he doesn’t behave like that with his daughter. How can I explain that he’s wrong?My answer is this: if you tell your spouse the truth, he will not understand. According to the psychoanalysis of Sigmund Freud, the husband is jealous of his son to his wife. At a reception, a woman told the following situation: "We are sitting together on a couch, with a husband and a three-year-old son, watching TV. And then I notice that he slowly moves towards the child and slowly pushes him off the couch. When the child is on the floor and screams, I understand that my husband did it on purpose. " This behavior of the man is explained by the fact that the younger generation steps on the heels, thereby causing wild irritation. That is, in the subconscious of the father, the son is a growing competitor, while the man does not suspect this. In this case, it is necessary to say: "If you love your son, accept him as he is, despite bad schooling, bad habits and strange behavior."Photo: Getty Images

About Conflicts

We constantly quarrel, and often the child is present during the scandals. Should I try to save the family?Setting that you need to save the family for the sake of children,not always true. Can you pull this "strap" - it's up to you, but the child definitely will not benefit from seeing scandals and fights between mom and dad. Divorce, of course, for a child - a psychotrauma, he can even feel guilty in this situation, such is his psyche. Therefore, parents should tell the child that he is not guilty of anything, this is the problem of adults and you will still love him, only you will live separately. You do not need to be a hostage to children in order to avoid further unhealthy relationships with them, because then this kind of reproaches may begin: "Yes, I gave you my best years of life, and at least you called my mother!"

About health

The child has been diagnosed with ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, ed.). Should he be helped with his studies and monitored for progress?No, neither is necessary.The child needs treatment, and abroad: in Russia there are no specialists in this field and some drugs that successfully treat ADHD all over the world are prohibited. It is not worth wasting time and money on local specialists, half of whom do not even consider this a diagnosis. The disease is 25 years old, and 25 percent of children around the world suffer from it. Fortunately, it is very successfully treated. You can find a child neurologist who will prescribe a course of treatment, and the question of help will be closed - the child will cope with school on his own.

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