What do you remember about your early childhood? About mom and dad? Some events cut deep into the memory, so that you will not erase them for years. And sometimes strange things are remembered: how the sun shines in the morning through the curtains, how does my mother's voice sound from behind the wall, like fresh smelling coffee in the kitchen in the mornings ... This can not be called events, you can not call actions. But all these general impressions are very important. They create an oasis in the memory of a child who will give strength at a difficult moment. Psychologists have compiled a list of five items that children remember about their parents and childhood for life. If you fulfill them, there is a much greater chance of growing a happy and balanced person. And you know, do not offer such complicated things.
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1. Sense of security
In the heart of every child there lives a multitudefears. And with them – an urgent need to be protected. Your children will remember how you chased monsters from under the crib or hugged them after a nightmare. However, they will also remember those times when, in a fit of anger, you yourself turned into the monster they were afraid of. That is why psychologists implore: never quarrel in front of children, do not take your anger out on them. They will not really understand what is happening, but they will remember your intonation and the horror you experienced. Children measure love primarily by how attentive you are to them. If you put off your business to participate in a tea ceremony or jump on a trampoline with them, then this will remain in their hearts forever. And even taking a five-minute break from a super-important matter to hug, ruffle their hair, ask (and listen!) how the baby’s day was – you have no idea how valuable this is. Just 10-20 minutes of lively, warm, and truly engaged communication a day can do wonders. Make time to do little things with your kids because in the end, it’s those little moments that mean the most in life.
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3. Relationship between mom and dad
What is love, what should relationships be like?in the family – this is what we teach our children constantly. Just by the very fact of their existence, parents set the norms of interaction with the opposite sex. It is not for nothing that they say that boys look for wives similar to their mothers, and girls – husbands similar to their fathers. Try to make your marriage such that children, if not eager to start a family, at least are not afraid to do so. Give them a sense of confidence that a loving and strong union of father and mother generates.
4. Words of approval and criticism
A child's heart is like plasticine.But over time, play dough becomes harder. The marks left on it in childhood remain there forever, they can’t be erased. The feeling of self-importance, the extent of abilities, the belief in their talent and even self-respect will largely depend on the words you say to them while they are still little. It is the responsibility of parents to correct their children’s behavior and teach them discipline, but your words should be filled with love and positive support. At least, this is what the Patheos study recommends.
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5. Family traditions
Children love surprises, but they have a deepneed for predictability. They will remember with great pleasure any traditions you create, be it a weekly family trip to the cinema, to a hockey game, a trip to the lake, grandma's cake for a birthday, a signature salad for a holiday. Intentionally create traditions that they will want to pass on to their children - your grandchildren.
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