«When I gave my husband a laptop, it was on"I was in seventh heaven, I had never seen him like this before, even after the birth of our daughters," recalls 45-year-old Marina. "A few months later, he became a real computer addict. As a result, we divorced." Although the computer does not always become a stumbling block, causing discord and aggravating existing problems, it often really upsets the established family balance. "It encourages family members to create or rebuild the relationships that bind them in new conditions that may not be acceptable for all household members," says sociopsychologist Irina Palilova. The computer can become a third wheel in the communication of spouses, it can threaten parental authority, give rise to conflicts between relatives." In short, it is not always possible to gently introduce this new family member into the house without allowing him to dictate his own rules. But this "indicator", which reveals weak points in family relationships, can simultaneously help to correct the situation or even create new connections. Everything depends on the place it is given in the house, both literally and figuratively. A tour of the apartment with comments.
Child and computer
In the bedroom
Plus:a new form of intimacy "It was important to my partner that I let his computer into our bedroom," says 29-year-old Kira. "When I started showing interest in the computer, my boyfriend calmed down. Otherwise, it would have been perceived as if I didn't love his best friend." Forcing someone to accept your computer "means symbolically forcing someone to accept you. Initiating another person into the intricacies of the computer also means making them a part of your world and strengthening the couple. The computer can create a new form of intimacy. "It allows you to make plans together in real time, think through trips, organize a party," and immediately begin to act, "says Irina Palilova. In a couple, the computer can also become a mediator, allowing you to avoid conflicts and communicate more calmly. «When my husband and I had problems, I had to resort to to talk to him,– testifies 31-year-old Valeria. – In addition, he understood important things about me and my life from my blog». Minus: the enemy of love «When will you finally lie down?», «We don’t have sex anymore», «Turn off this car, I can’t sleep!». Having penetrated the bedroom - the bastion of marital intimacy, the computer can turn into a rival that is always nearby and devours your time. In a family, it is necessary to leave space for pleasures alone, but here the measure is important. Many women feel superfluous in their own bedroom in the face of complete fusion with the computer of their partner. «The monitor turns into a screen between spouses, creating the illusion of a person's presence when in fact he is not with you, – analyzes Irina Palilova. –If there is only one computer in the family, then in the marital bedroom it can cause a love and sexual catastrophe; in addition, children attracted to the parental bedroom by the computer can turn it into a walk-through yard».
