Envy is a completely familiar condition formost people, because we are arranged so that we can not fail to compare ourselves with others. Thus, numerous psychological studies conducted in different countries of the world have shown that, without exception, people who are in a new collective or simply surrounded by strangers immediately immediately begin to subconsciously assess to a greater or lesser degree other people. After carrying out such an assessment, which the person often does not even realize, automatically "turns on" envy of those characteristics of other people who seem better. The feelings described above are familiar to all people, but most of all they are manifested in women - because of their psychological characteristics. Every woman at least once in her life encountered the envy of her friends, who often is not only able to completely destroy friendship, but also to break the fragile psychological balance of her own worldview. Why this happens and what needs to be done to protect ourselves from the negative consequences of such a destructive feeling, we will consider in more detail in this article.
Envy of different material values
Most often the girlfriends envy the fact that you havethe opportunity to dress beautifully, buy expensive cosmetics, go on vacation several times a year and similar opportunities related to material values. Such envy is quite logical and even useful if it does not adversely affect the development of friendly relations. All women are inclined to experience such envy, and even you can repeatedly catch yourself thinking: "Do I envy my girlfriend?". These feelings in most cases contribute to the emergence of an irresistible desire to prove, first of all to yourself, that you too can achieve no less than your girlfriend, and even outdo her. If a friend, because of her envy towards you, seeks to show that she can earn herself or that material wealth, then there is nothing terrible in this. The situation is quite different when a girlfriend starts not just to feel jealous of what you have, but also to wish you to lose all this or lose the opportunity to acquire new things. Such envy is usually called "black", it does not lead to anything good, as a rule. To cope with such destructive envy, it is necessary to try to show the girlfriend that she can quite achieve the same thing as you. If your girlfriend simply does not have enough determination to start earning the money needed to fulfill all her material desires, try to help her with good advice, and also instill in her the confidence that with due perseverance she can easily realize all her ideas. If the friend does not even know how to achieve material prosperity, let her read books that helped you in her time, or convince her that you should not be afraid of your own ideas, but rather start immediately to implement them. You can also introduce your girlfriend to the right people who can help her move up the career ladder or start her own business. Another option is to provide a friend with the opportunity to learn what she wants, or give her a certificate to attend various courses. If you decide to study anything with your girlfriend and show that it is much more difficult for you than her, it is likely that she will perk up and start enthusiastically translating new knowledge into life, earning money with her unique skills. Typically, the methods described above often allow you to completely get rid of the envy of a friend or redirect it to a constructive channel. If you have tried everything, but nothing has helped, do not worry about guessing why this happened, but just try to accept the situation as a reality. You can wait for a while until your friend understands that you do not need to envy you, but act yourself in those directions that will help her achieve material prosperity. If over time the relationship of a friend to you does not change, then it makes sense to gradually reduce communication with her to a minimum, because such relationships will not bring you any positive emotions. You may well be visited by the idea to take a girlfriend to your workplace or start a joint business with her, in one fell swoop and get rid of envy of your material possibilities, and keep your friendship. Such a decision is a grave error, which many successful modern girls admit, since in most cases this leads to disastrous consequences. The matter is that any pathologically envious girlfriend will not miss the opportunity to assault you by dismissing various gossips about you at work, spoiling your reputation and even seriously substituting you, depriving you of the main source of income. At the same time, she can tell your colleagues and colleagues that I do not envy her friend at all, but simply try to do her a good deed, openly telling about all her advantages and disadvantages. If a friend, on the contrary, is well versed in the specifics of your work, then there is a big risk that over time the authorities will begin to appreciate her much more than you, which is also fraught with the complete cessation of friendship or even her degeneration into a real hatred. So a hundred times think, before you make a friend a part of your working life, and it is better to never associate friendly and working relations.
Envy of a happy personal relationship
In those cases where you have a reliable favoritea person with whom you are doing well, and the girlfriend's business on the love front is not always right, then in time it may well start to envy you. At first, such envy is often of a kind of mild frustration and anguish, so it is not at all dangerous. However, if the girlfriend remains for a long time alone, then her envy can begin to acquire an extremely negative color. In order not to bring friendships to open confrontation, it is necessary to take certain measures in time to reduce envy to nothing or simply redirect the attention of a friend to the other side of life. If your girlfriend constantly gets acquainted with the new gentlemen, but none of them have a relationship with her simply do not add up, then it is worth analyzing why this is the case. In addition, you can always ask your girlfriend directly what exactly did not suit her in dealing with these or those of the stronger sex. If, after analyzing all the data available to you, you will understand that the girlfriend simply chooses the wrong men, guided by the mechanism of the unfortunate feelings created at the subconscious level during the first unhappy love, then it is worth trying to break this scenario. To do this, you can bring a friend with her good acquaintances male, friends of her brother or loved one, in the most suitable for communication environment. It is possible that a friend in this way will find her happiness, which will be unspeakably happy. The problem of envy in this case will disappear by itself, and your friendship will again become as trusting as before. The most difficult variant of the development of events implies that your girlfriend wants to build a relationship not with some abstract man, but with your lover, and tries with all his might to win his attention. If you are two hundred percent sure of the feelings of your man towards you, then you can try to just wait until your girlfriend finds another object for seduction. However, it is better not to allow too much informal communication between your second half and your girlfriend, because all men are more or less impressed by the interest of another woman. This can help to ensure that your faithful decides to test your spell in practice, changing it to your friend, which will inevitably lead to the collapse of both love and friendship. To prevent the possibility of betrayal of a friend and a beloved man, you can try to switch the attention of a friend to another sphere of life, for example, any hobby, sport or career. However, this option is often ineffective, because the girlfriend is simply not going to give up what she is so attracted to. It is rare to meet women who are able to curb their jealousy to the girlfriend's love happiness and explain to herself that she should not try to destroy your relationship with a person close to you. If your girlfriend is just like that, then you are very lucky. If not, then the only sure way to solve such a difficult situation is to stop any communication with a friend and complete deletion of her from her life. There is also such a confluence of circumstances when you have long been ready to part with your lover, but you do not dare to do it for one reason or another. If at this point the girlfriend begins to show any signs of attention to your man, then you can quite "give" it to her, thus saving the friendship. The only condition for a positive outcome of such a situation is the absence of any subsequent jealousy based not on feelings, but on the usual proprietary instinct.
Envy of beautiful appearance
Since for all women very importanthas the way they look, then very often girlfriends can envy a beautiful appearance. If you exceed your girlfriend in certain parameters, then it is likely that in the course of time it will start to irritate her, and then provoke the appearance of envy. Particularly relevant this issue becomes in conditions when you need to like some young man, and you can prevent it, distracting his attention with his spectacular appearance. Fighting such envy is extremely difficult, because the aspiration of women to perfection is ineradicable, but with the help of various tricks, you can restore your former trusting relationship with a girlfriend, not overshadowed by envious thoughts. If you are ready for the sake of friendship to change something in your appearance, then try for some time to look less bright and spectacular than on ordinary days. As a rule, such a temporary shake-up happens enough that the envious girlfriend understands that your appearance is not at all ideal and you, too, can look quite ordinary. Another option is to start constantly complaining to your friend about how incredible efforts you get a slim figure, well-groomed skin, beautiful hair, perfect manicure, etc. You can even try to introduce your girlfriend to your sports and various beauty treatments in beauty salons. This will allow you to "kill two birds with one stone": get rid of the girlfriend's unmotivated envy, and also help improve her appearance, which will affect your relationship only in the best way. A fairly risky solution to the situation involves asking a friend the question directly about why she is jealous of your appearance. Of course, at first she will not admit her envious feelings, but if you can convince her that you do not want to quarrel, but just want to understand how to cope with the tension that has arisen in your friendly relations, then most likely you will get from her long awaited answer. Just remember that in any case you can not use the information received in order to once again show your superiority over a friend. It is necessary, on the contrary, to try to understand what exactly the girlfriend would like to change in herself, in order to feel attractive and cease to be jealous of you. Then you can help her to change her hair, choose a suitable make-up, choose the wardrobe correctly and, in general, change her image so that she looks beautiful and always felt confident.
Envy of skills and talents
Many women can envy their girlfriends,because they seem to them more talented. Any special skills, skills or simply the most creative, interesting and diverse activities as the main occupation in life may well cause a less talented girlfriend to have a certain envy. And in that case you often do not understand at all what you can envy about here, because you sincerely consider your girlfriend to be as creative and versatile person as you are. This is what you must show your girlfriend in such a way that she herself believes in it, and ceases to experience often unmotivated envy. The widespread opinion that each person is talented in his own way, in fact, is a real truth. To demonstrate this to her friend, it's worth noting her skills, which most people around her admire, but she simply does not notice it. If at first glance such skills are not found, you should dig a little deeper, paying attention to any little things that work out for your girlfriend best. For example, she can perfectly match each other with different outfits and accessories, which will allow her to make a very successful career in the fashion industry. Or she knows how to cook wonderfully, combining various ingredients in such a way that in the end, completely new original dishes are obtained, the taste of which enthralls all relatives and friends. Such an obvious inclination to culinary delights will help to become a good friend to a friend. In any case, you can find something that a girlfriend can make much better than others, and make it so that she fully realizes it. To get rid of girlfriend's envy of any of your talents, you can also start regularly consulting her, especially stressing that her advice is very valuable to you. If you see that a friend wants to help you in something, never push it away, even if in fact you do not really need such help. Try to bring in your work at least a few small items on the advice of a friend, interpreting them in such a way that she was happy, and your business is not hurt. Often so simple methods can not only completely rid women's friendship of jealousy, but also make it much stronger and more reliable. Using the above recommendations in certain situations, you will certainly get rid of the envy of a friend who poisons your friendship. If none of the proposed methods works, and the girlfriend stubbornly does not want to go to a frank conversation to "dot all i's," then it makes sense to gradually reduce the communication to it. Of course, you can try to cling to a friendly relationship, remembering the times when everything you had with your girlfriend was wonderful, but nothing good, it usually does not end. The fact is that a person who categorically does not want to recognize his envy and in any way fight it, is unlikely to be able to support you once, as real friends would have done. So the most correct decision in this case is the termination of all relations with a friend. When a friend herself confesses that she envies you in something, but her envy is completely innocent, and she also pushes her to commit any active action, then it is not necessary to fight with her. Such envy is one of the best ways of self-improvement, which is necessary for every person for a bright and fulfilling life, full of various events. If a friend as a result of such actions reaches something meaningful in life, then not only will she cease to envy you, but she will also be grateful to you for the example, thanks to which she could become better and more successful. If you ever catch yourself thinking: "It seems that I envied her no less than she did me," do not be upset at all and do not blame yourself for having experienced a similar feeling. Try to understand what color is your envy - "white" or "black"? If the envy of a friend only motivates you not to reach new heights in different spheres of life, then you do not need to do anything. If the envy is clearly negative and undermines the foundations of your friendship from the inside, first of all, determine what exactly you are jealous of, and then openly talk with your girlfriend to solve this situation with minimal losses. You can also take advantage of all the tips of this article, presenting yourself in the place of your girlfriend, who is having a hard time because of your envy. Always remember that most of the friendly relations between women were destroyed precisely because of the envy of one of the girlfriends, who in time could not cope with it. So try to protect your friendship in every possible way from the appearance of such a negative feeling, more frankly speaking with each other and be ready to at least slightly adjust your behavior for the sake of a friend. If you and your friend learn to put themselves in each other's place, then your friendship will stand any test and become a real outlet in a rather difficult life.