No matter how men behave towardswomen, whatever methods are used to win them, all of their strategies can be divided into two main types - the strategy of husbands and the strategy of lovers. Husband and lover, if they are so by nature, behave differently. In general, the nuances of the actions of the representatives of the stronger sex can be different because of the characteristics of upbringing and the dissimilarity of life experience. But the general outline in men's behavior is quite easy to see. But to decide who to choose a husband or lover, a woman is not so simple. By "husbands" and "lovers" in this case, we mean not the official or actual status of a man for a particular woman. It is about the psychological state of a man, which determines the characteristics of his actions in dealing with a weak gender. Husbands and lovers are these two opposite types of male personality, differing from each other not only by external behavior, but also by the internal state. When communicating with a weak sex, they are intuitively guided by their organic qualities. That is, they act according to the personality of the character, and not according to the logic of conscious choice. As we have already said, in general, men are divided into husbands and lovers. The former aspire to serious and long-term relationships with women, the latter are more prone to non-obligatory flirting and adventurism. "Husbands" are usually introverts oriented toward the external real world, "lovers" are extroverts living in a fictional world. In rare cases, extroverts begin to play the role of husband, and introverts - the lover. Each of these male psychotypes has both strengths, weaknesses and a range of women. Healthy relationships with them can only be provided that a man is ready to play the role of an opposite personality. In other words, a husband can become a lover and a lover a husband. Otherwise, links with representatives of the weaker sex will be one-sided. So what are they, men - husbands and men - lovers?
Type of man - lover
The classic type of lover isa man-ladies' man, a gambler, enthusiastic about the process of hunting. This heartthrob and ladies' man, not capable of a deep and long affection. In a relationship with a woman, he seeks to become a leader, showing initiative and straightforwardness. "Lover" charmingly brisk, moderately cynical, open and almost never shifts responsibility for intrigue on his partner. This is too narcissistic person, for whom new acquaintances are an opportunity to satisfy his ambition. The fact of victory over a woman for a "lover" is much more important than the relationship with her. He had his will, he would have started a whole harem, replenishing the number of its inhabitants almost every day. A great lover of adventure, the "lover" does not know the boundaries of his passion and may well go for aggressive and cruel measures for his own purpose. He is rude and frankly sexy and can easily turn a head almost to any woman. "Lover" is nothing to be interested in and draw the young lady so that she forgot about everything in the world. At the same time, his conscience does not bother him at all, if a woman throws a family, and then he throws this lady. "Lover" is not able to inspire a woman a sense of security and peace. She always feels like a powder keg, because she understands perfectly - this man will hunt forever. From women, "lover" requires only recognition of victory and confirmation of its exclusivity. Its main task is to conquer as many women as possible. He always raises the bar, trying to win more and more beautiful and bright women. If this does not work out, then the quality of the extraction turns into its quantity. In general, "lovers" are men with shattered self-esteem and a violation of self-esteem. And the increase in the number of sexual wins is necessary for them to restore this balance. However, "lovers" like women. Even realizing that the character of a man is fickle and windy, they still succumb to his charms, hoping to tame. However, it is understandable - being next to such a person, and especially when he achieves it, a woman feels special and sexually attractive. Which, of course, amuses her ego. In a word, a relationship with a man-lover is always reduced to mutual satisfaction of ambitions. He - a bright and artistic nature, which, like air, you need the worship and admiration of the weaker sex. He is worshiped mainly by women who need to recognize their attractiveness. Sexual relations here take a back seat. But they are still present.
Type of man - husband
The classic "husband" is a home-likea man whose goal is a long life with one woman. Constant adventures and a change of partners abhor his nature. In relations with the weaker sex, the "husband" is very serious. In each young lady, he sees a potential wife and therefore surrounds her with increased care. "Husband" is compulsively attentive, extremely precautionary and constantly expects from his passion approval and affirmation of love for him. Flirting "husbands" absolutely can not. They do not feel the mood of a woman, do not notice her coquetry and take a passive attitude in a relationship. "Husband" expects from the woman either the first step, or a clear indication of what to do next. He is delicate, tries to behave like a gentleman and is confident that his main virtue is a sublime, romantic attitude towards a woman. "Husbands" skillfully take care of and subjugate women with devotion, constancy and patience. Unlike lovers, they strive for stability and offer their friends eternal love with the prospect of marriage. In reality, the true purpose of the "husband" in relations with the weak sex differs little from the goal of the "lover" - the "husband" also seeks inner satisfaction and tries to get rid of mental disorder. But his actions are not based on sexual victories, but on the love of the weaker sex. For the sake of this "husband" is ready to be defeated and obey a woman even to the detriment of one's own interests. He is predictable in actions and governs what inspires a woman with a sense of stability and security. If she wants to create a family, then, like, the best candidate for a spouse and wish is not worth it. However, this is not quite true. In fact, "husbands" are looking for a companion - a mother who can create an atmosphere of childhood in his life. They are ready to give their freedom for the opportunity to shift responsibility for everything to a woman, getting rid of feelings of inferiority. True, in return they give care, love and reliability. In addition, the "husband", instilling in his partner a sense of certainty, opens the path to motherhood for her. In general, the pronounced types of "husbands" and "lovers" have one problem - a violation of the balance of self-esteem. The deeper it is, the stronger the manifestation of this or that strategy of behavior in the relationship of a man with a weak sex. Some are playing hard in knights-defenders, others - in arrogant cynics. If the self-esteem is more or less balanced, the man does not fall within the framework of the already described scheme and becomes just a man.
Type of man - just a man
A man with a normal balance of self-esteem isa person who is free to choose his own behavior model in relation to the weaker sex. He can successfully play the role of both husband and lover, but usually there is no need for this. Why build a Don Juan or a noble knight, if a normal man is valuable in itself? This is for those who need to assert themselves at the expense of women. And just men - nature is integral, and there is no need to prove their importance. It is these men who are able to build the most healthy relationships in the family. Unlike husbands and lovers, who seek comfort in women and increase self-esteem, they strive for love and mutual respect. And usually they marry the one that best suits these requirements.
Whom to choose women?
It would seem that the issue of choice between husband,lover and just a man from a series of rhetorical questions. Of course, just a man! He is reliable, independent, self-sufficient, finally! But it was not there. The female gender is unpredictable. To understand why a young lady chose a man at a time when there are others next to him, seemingly more suitable for good relations, is impossible. Well, it would seem, why do women have male lovers? After all, with them, one mint! And why do men-husbands? With them you will never feel like behind a stone wall. Nevertheless, both are in demand, and, oddly enough, even more than "just men". The thing is that many women, deciding the question of who to choose a husband or lover, want to see in their chosen features of both. The first type of men attracts them with their childlike addiction and awakens the instinct of motherhood. The second type of the stronger sex makes you feel sexually attractive. At the same time, it is sometimes impossible to understand the difference between sex with a lover from her husband. It may not make much difference. However, husbands do not know how to sing the dithyrambs of the eroticism of their girlfriend. Lovers do it frankly and masterly. Combine the type of husband and the type of lover in one man is almost impossible. But women refuse to accept this. Contacting a man-lover, they amuse themselves, flourish and become incredibly sexy. And then they try to remake their partner from a lover to a husband. Attempts, as a rule, are unsuccessful, and relations fail. "Lovers" cherish freedom - without it they can not feel full. Women can not tolerate the uncertainty and constant threat of betrayal of a partner. A reverse option is also possible, in which the lady lives with an attentive "husband", but eventually understands that he, owing to his inner state of eternal subordination, is not able to satisfy the female pride. She is trying to change something and awaken in the man the desire for independence. Nothing usually comes out of this, and the woman rushes to find someone who can give her confidence in her own sexual exclusivity and attractiveness. Is there a way out of these situations? There is. Even two, but very difficult. The first of them - in the relationship both the man and the woman should stop to see a way of self-affirmation and the possibility of consolation. A man in this case will be freed from the psychological need to play the role of husband or lover, a woman will believe that her eroticism is very attractive and ineradicable. The connection between them immediately changes their character of mutual dependence. It will become an alliance based on respect and deep spiritual affection. The second way out is in case if a man or a woman can not change himself, but they do not want to part. If this is the case, it will be necessary to give each other the opportunity to receive what is not enough. Let the "lover" hunt. A woman who lives with a man - her husband, gets herself such a "lover". I must say that the second solution to the problem is not very suitable for normal relations. Free there morals, no, and it is almost always difficult for people to realize that a loved one is flirting with someone else. And if not only flirts ... To this few are ready. However, you can, of course, flirt and secretly. However, this is not the best way to preserve the union. Therefore, it would be better to just get to know the person first, and then decide whether or not to build a serious relationship with him. We advise you to read: