self-confidence Has it ever happened to you: Have you entered the room, which is full of strangers, and you feel terribly awkward? It seemed to you that everyone in this room looks solely at you, and you did not know where to get away from embarrassment and awkwardness. It was? Or maybe your heart was pounding with excitement when you wanted to ask the saleswoman in the vegetable shop to change the corrupted apples to good ones, but shyness never let you do it? Or at work they wanted to ask the store manager to change the burned light bulb over your desk, but did not dare turn to him? If you are in similar situations, then you should understand that your shyness and insecurity constantly keeps you back and deprives you of the chance to achieve success someday in your life. If you think that you are one of the few people in the world who are suffering from self-doubt, then we will rush you to calm. According to psychologists, every three to four people out of ten do not know how to find ways to overcome uncertainty. This applies in varying degrees to men and women of different ages. Some of them try to disguise their shyness with bravado, and some try to completely avoid situations that might cause them embarrassment. Be that as it may, shy people are very difficult to communicate with, and if you are one of them, we can sympathize with you. Only we have a proposal - let's try to understand together what is happening to you, and we will try to change your attitude to people and to yourself! how to find self-confidence

Why are people embarrassed?

When we are close to others, we oftenbecome too sensitive to what we say or do - it seems to us that we are in the very center of attention. This gives rise to anxiety and makes us doubt: do I do everything right? All our attention is centered around our own person, in particular, on "what I'm doing wrong". So, actually, and there is our insecurity in ourselves. Sometimes we talk about ourselves: "I'm very shy," and psychologically we are already determined to live up to these expectations. That is, they hanged themselves on a label, and we try not to deviate from the image imposed on ourselves. Well, how can I go and say something to the boss? I do not find self-confidence! How can I ask on the bus to let me go to the exit? It is better to stop the extra, but I will not begin to attract attention to myself. I'm shy! Uncertainty connects the person on the hands and feet. But to get rid of these bonds is quite possible, and most importantly, what we need for this is a desire to understand how to overcome shyness and develop self-confidence, and determination to start working on ourselves. how to find self-confidence

How to overcome shyness and develop self-confidence?

  • Understand that the whole world does not look at you. Most people are too busy with themselves to pay much attention to others. Instead of thinking about others, try to understand yourself. Try to figure out what causes your insecurity; seek the cause in yourself, in your thoughts and in regard to yourself. Self-knowledge is the first step towards changing and improving one's life.
  • Find your strengths. Everyone has unique qualities and different ways of self-expression. It is important that your shyness does not stop you from understanding and fully accepting what you are doing well, even if it is different from the norm. The world would be boring if all people were the same. Having found in itself positive qualities, look, what they can give you advantages. For example, if you are rather silent, then you can become an excellent listener. You will be appreciated for this quality, because people want so that someone listened to them! Develop positive qualities in yourself; this will help you to raise self-esteem and help to develop self-confidence.
  • Concentrate on other people, on what they arespeak and do - instead of focusing on one's own embarrassment in the company of others. Show interest in information about other people, ask them to talk about themselves. You will be surprised, but on closer examination you can see that even successful and outwardly confident people sometimes feel awkward and confused. So, you are not worse than others!
  • Learn to love yourself. Take the paper and write to yourself a letter about how wonderful you are. Describe all your best qualities, write how proud you are that you decided to win - and win! - his shyness. Praise yourself for every new step to victory.
  • Be engaged in visualization. Imagine pictures where you see yourself as confident and happy; this will help shape your perception of yourself in the same situation, but in reality. That is, when you get into the same situation, you will already know how you hold, because during visualization you were able to "rehearse" your behavior. Do these exercises so: sit comfortably, close your eyes, relax and listen for a while to pleasant music, which you turn on before you start the lesson. Then imagine a scene from your life in which shyness usually shrouds you. Only now you are afraid of nothing and nobody, you talk easily and keep yourself at ease. How are you feeling? Do you hear the sound of your voice? Do you feel movement, smells? Try to use all the senses to make your vision more realistic.
  • Use a reception that is called"Statement". Words can carry incredible energy. What we say to ourselves repeatedly is fixed in our subconscious. And then it starts to act accordingly on consciousness. If we constantly tell ourselves that we can not do something, we are too shy to act decisively - we are creating more and more evidence for this "fact" for our subconscious, and our actions always correspond to what we say to ourselves. In a similar way, if we say to ourselves: "I'm sure!", "I can!", "I will do it!". Positive statements place in our subconscious a wonderful human being whose name is you yourself! And although usually we can not deceive ourselves, but visualization and positive statements help us to form a positive model of thinking and to overcome uncertainty.
  • Refuse perfectionism. When we compare ourselves to someone, we tend to compare with the most popular person in our environment or even with the celebrities that we see on TV. We awaken excessive, unreasonable expectations, and then we begin to punish ourselves for failing to be the same. Let go of this ideal image and do not demand too much from yourself. Be yourself, to strive for perfection is absolutely not worth it - no one person can not be perfect, everyone has their own shortcomings.
  • Train your confidence, because socialskills, like any other skills, can be grown by you through practice and gaining experience. The more you communicate with people, the easier it will be for you each time. Stopping to avoid uncomfortable situations for yourself, in which you are especially strongly shy, the less will become your sensitivity to the fear of failure. Very soon you will understand that everything is not so bad, and you can even laugh at your past tortures.
  • If you work hard on yourself, thenYou can win over embarrassment and shyness. You will be able to soberly assess their capabilities, and understand that you can no less than others. Praise yourself for winning! It would be very good to have a special success diary. Doing such a diary will not only improve your self-confidence, but also help you better understand how to defeat shyness specifically for you. Of course, overcoming shyness takes time, but it is quite possible to do. Confidence is a skill, a state of mind, and it is quite possible to learn it. Be confident, and it will make your life much better. So - go to your new life, do not delay! We advise you to read: