Psychology of maternal instinct, or psychologyMaternity is a relatively new trend in psychology, which has already absorbed various knowledge and become interesting for most women. How does a woman conceive a mother? At what point does awareness of readiness for motherhood come? On these and other questions you will find answers in our article on the maternal instinct.
What is the instinct of motherhood
We are born women, but we become mothers. Maternal instinct is not an instinct in its present biological meaning. This is a woman's behavior, including the satisfaction of the following maternal needs: the need for interaction with the child, the need for care and protection, and the need for a maternal feeling. The need for interaction with the child is the very first, and it is on it that the rest are based. If this need is met, the woman experiences pleasure and other pleasant experiences. They can be obtained both in direct communication with the child, and in the process of care, feeding, education, etc. ... The need for care and protection is the desire to feed, nurse and protect your child from the external threat and dangerous consequences of his own activity. Usually a woman learns such things from her mother or watching the care of other mothers about children. However, it is impossible to learn some things, for example, breast-feeding, in advance, therefore such actions are usually of an innate nature. The need for motherhood is the most difficult. The woman reflects and analyzes her states and experiences. This is a special, so-called "maternal feeling." It arises from the woman's thoughts about the future child, his image, family and cultural models of motherhood and his own experience. All these needs, as well as the maternal instinct in general, a woman can only satisfy by the appearance of a child in the world. As you have probably already realized, a child for every mother is not just a child, but a very special phenomenon. He is able only one of his presence in the field of view of a woman to evoke the most tender feelings. Due to what is this happening?
- Appearance and physical characteristics of the baby. It's not a secret that infants have a special smell - some women react very sensitively to it with a flash of maternal instinct. And of course, very few people can resist the chubby legs and handles, large open eyes and a delicate skin!
- Features of behavior. Children behave in a very special way - they are slow, awkward, unsuitable for independent living, and their movements are poorly coordinated. But it is precisely all these strange things which, in many ways, arouse in women a maternal instinct, especially the need for caring.
- Results of behavior and activity of children. These include groaning, sounds of pleasure, sniffing, drooling, special touches, sounds, facial expressions, violent and immediate reactions, playfulness, crookedly assembled pyramids, smeared on a sheet of paint and other-other results of child life. If this were the way the adult behaved, we would be angry; However, children's behavior causes us delight and emotion.
On the emergence of the maternal instinct
The maternal instinct and its manifestations are peculiarand are constant for every woman, however they vary for different children. At the time of the birth of the child, the mother has a complex consisting of knowledge and skills in caring for children, experiences and relationships associated with them, the needs for them, their values and values for women. All this is denoted by the concept of "motherhood". It is her that is often called maternal instinct in everyday life. In its development, the mother's sphere passes through a number of stages:
Then comes the birth, which many women are afraid of. The most optimal attitude to childbirth is described by the formula "childbirth is a difficult and creative work". After the baby was born, the woman has her own emotional mood for caring for the child. He very much depends on tactile contact with the baby and includes the first reactions of anxiety and fear for the child, getting used to it and its features, the appearance of pleasure from touching it and moving it into "gentle care." Then there is confidence in the movements. The child has an affection for his mother, which also activates her maternal instinct. For example, he usually enjoys her coming more than other people. Mom shares with the child the joy of his discoveries of the world and activity in it. Gradually, a woman develops a style of motherly attitude to the child. As a rule, he can be anxious, adequate (attitude towards the child as a full-fledged person, sympathy and attitude towards him), detached, unstable or emotionally cold. In the case of an adequate relationship, the mother becomes more and more interested in her child, she spends a lot of time with him, especially in games.
Readiness for motherhood
Unfortunately, not every woman is ready to become a mother. The reason why the maternal instinct can disappear is the lack of desire to become a mother. However, it is not the only one. The desire to give birth to a baby is certainly important for a sense of readiness for motherhood, but it is not enough. The appearance of a child is a very serious event, and it is much more responsible to treat it than to enter an institute or buy a car. However, do not forget that some things appear after the birth of a child, and their lack is more than offset by the love for the baby. So, what other qualities are considered necessary for a future mother?
- Personal maturity. It includes feeling like a woman, the ability to make important decisions, the ability to make choices, taking responsibility for one's actions, the ability to establish close and warm relations, independence, the ability to sympathize, work together, the ability to live the present, creative abilities, interest in developing oneself and other people, the ability to enjoy life.
- Adequate understanding of the roles of mother and father infamily, about what they should do, the right attitudes towards parenting and contact with the child. It is very important to have the right motives for parenting. For example, the desire to have a child to keep her husband - it's not constructive, but the appearance of the baby as a continuation of your love with your husband - this is closer to the truth.
- Correct attitude to the child. Psychologists describe 3 types of the child's value: emotional (positive experiences with the mother during communication with the child), heightened emotional (euphoria or excessive concentration on the child of all attachment in the absence of other people's lives in the mother's life), replacing the child's independent value with others (the child attaches mother status, relieves the fear of loneliness in the future, etc. ...).
- Maternal competence. This sensitivity to the child, the ability to understand the state of children, the flexibility and ability to adjust to the individual rhythm of the child, the availability of knowledge about the characteristics of childhood, the presence of some skills of upbringing.
- Formation of the maternal sphere. In order to be ready to become a mother, a woman must go through all the stages of becoming a mother's sphere, as a result of which she has an understanding of the value of the child, a special warm attitude to him, the need for it, and also the skills of caring for the baby
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