Old age is a beautiful time! But not everyone knows about this, and many will even argue. For most people, old age means illness, helplessness, boredom and monotony. Therefore, when a person has a certain number of years, he already feels doomed. However, everything is not so pessimistic. The psychological possibilities of old age, which many people simply do not notice, can be very large and surprising. If for you, for one reason or another, this question is relevant, then after reading this article, you will be able to take an optimistic and new look at the prospects that are opening before you.
At what point does old age come?
Very many people ask themselves the question: "At what point will I become old?" Maybe it will surprise you, but there is no clear and identical border for all. Scientists prefer to build on the physiological causes of the onset of old age, because most of the psychological changes are associated with them. The main reason for this is often the menopause. The duration of menopause may range from one year to ten years, and the peak is on average fifty-fifty-five years. Currently, there is controversy over whether menopause also occurs in men, or it only occurs in women. But even if hormonal changes are, perhaps, the fate of women, then both sexes are subject to psychological changes. These changes go through a number of stages in their development:
The above changes occurring in old age,very closely tied to menopause. However, the boundaries of old age do not necessarily have to be based on physiological reconstructions. Old age as a psychological problem depends on the norms accepted in society, based on the age and lifestyle of the elderly person. In particular, you can offer the following boundaries for the elderly:
Obviously, the boundaries of old age are very, veryblurred. Someone feels like a deep old woman at fifty, and for some, seventy is not a hindrance to an active and interesting life. Agree, the secret of happy old age is worth a lot! For example, in the West there is such a thing as "third age" - this is the time after retirement of a person. It is filled with travels, concerts and various hobbies such as collecting or calligraphy. And even when the strength becomes less, the "fourth age" comes - the period is not so active, but also quite successful - it is a more calm and wise old age. So what does our future depend on?
What does the future prepare for us ...
The coming changes are very, very many - somefrom them it is better, any worse, and to some it is just necessary to get used. These are the so-called psychological features of old age. In any case, if they were not, old age would not be a new stage in our life with you. First of all, changes concern the human psyche. Obviously, visual acuity and hearing, attention and memory are reduced. But with memory, in fact, everything is not so simple: mostly long-term memory suffers, i.e. it is easier to forget everything that happened long ago and very long ago. But at the same time, older people remember well everything that they are interested in, as well as all the important events for them. Learning decreases - that's why it's so hard to master a computer in old age. However, someone is able to do it, which means that this process largely depends on the interest and attitude towards it. We should also mention intellect and thinking. To ensure that they remain at the proper level in old age, it is necessary to use special auxiliaries, for example, grouping the material about meaning, using all senses and more time spent on mental activity. However, this is not all: psychologists have compiled a whole list of factors that have a beneficial effect on intelligence:
- absence of cardiovascular and other chronic diseases;
- favorable environmental conditions;
- income level is above average;
- warm family climate;
- Participation in cases that promote the development of cognitive abilities;
- a spouse with a high intellect;
- satisfaction with life;
- personal flexibility;
To psychological features of old age alsothere are also strong changes in the personality and character of a person. The vital energy and tone decrease, the elderly person becomes less active. Many are emotionally depressed, especially those who have previously lived a violent and emotionally-stressful life - they come to calm. The circle of their feelings narrows, sometimes all love is concentrated on someone, for example, on the grandson. Some helplessness, pliability and suggestibility appear. This is especially important in the sense that it is necessary to protect their elderly relatives from the influence of scammers. The circle of interests is narrowed. You yourself have repeatedly heard that older people talk only about their sores, desires and needs or about how to live badly in Russia. All this can be accompanied by increased irritability and emotional reactions. By the way, sometimes there is such a phenomenon as the change of some character trait to the opposite: for example, in the past a generous person suddenly becomes stingy, which, naturally, does not find support among others. In general, the elderly become quite self-centered. It is also necessary to recall the phenomenon of disunity. He describes the features of the communication of older people, and, as the name suggests, means the loss of opportunities for full-fledged interaction with others. Unfortunately, this is a fact, and, perhaps, because of this, many older people have such a complex character. They find it difficult to satisfy their need for communication, and even to the therapist and the mail they come to talk (which irritates the other people very much). This phenomenon has several sources:
However, everything is not so sad and hopeless - there isfactors that impede the unification. This can be a balanced nervous system, and high extroverted, but the most important is the attitude in society towards the elderly. For example, in Abkhazia young people respect the elderly - they are a symbol of wisdom for them - and they pay great attention to communication with them. Thanks to this, most elderly people are satisfied with their lives. This also finds expression in the social sphere: in Abkhazia there are no old criminals and crimes against the elderly. It must also be taken into account that as the aging grows, the role of the family in the life of the elderly person increases. After all, family contact can replace other lost species. The deterioration of health, which grows with the years, puts an aging person in increasing dependence on other family members - he needs their help and care. When an elderly person is inside a family, he is able to feel safe and independent of the problems that he has to face. But an elderly grandfather or grandmother does not necessarily become a burden. They can engage in affordable domestic duties, for example, cook or fiddle with children. This will give him or her a sense of self-worth and self-confidence, and they are very important for good health and full adaptation to the period of old age. In addition, it is the grandparents who are able to truthfully and interestingly tell about the events of the past, than they can draw a young child with a joke. The main thing in all this situation is to treat each other with love and respect. It is impossible not to mention the sad and hard - the approaching death, because for many people it is associated with her old age and associated with aging changes. Interaction with death has several aspects:
- The meaning of death for a person. For someone, it means the end of everything, and for someone - just a transition to a new level or even some interesting and exciting event. Agree - how a person relates to death, in many ways is able to determine his state of health for a period after sixty years.
- The meaning of death for loved ones. It is on this occasion that the most caring of us are going through: "And what will become of my husband after my death?", "And what will become of my children after my death?", Etc. ... After all, often death is perceived by us not as a bad event for a departing person, but as a tragedy for his loved ones. And this has its own truth.
- Practical aspect. It consists of two questions: what can be done with the fear of death and how can it be postponed? People go to psychotherapists, spend a lot of money on doctors and a healthy lifestyle (for this, by the way, whole industrial industries work) - all in order to delay this moment for several years. By the way, he is very closely connected with the meaning of death for a man, since only those for whom it is exclusively negatively colored will be separated from death.
All these thoughts about death are bad forpsychological features of old age - a person has "be that, what will be" and "nothing depends on me" (many because of thinking about death go to religion and pass responsibility for their lives to god), and the moral principle also grows stronger. The elderly person becomes wise and more and more adheres to moral norms due to the fact that the perception of reality is changing - the desire to compete with others and to enjoy material goods is replaced by a desire for warm relations and stability in society.
Aijism: cautiously, danger!
There is another sad phenomenon, which can not benot to mention - it's ageism. This term denotes a negative stereotype in the relationship of people of any age category, but most often implies a stereotype of the elderly. Agree, each of us at least once in my life experienced an acute attack of it, cursing a sluggish grandmother at the post office or a boring grandfather in a savings bank. This relationship is associated with a variety of reasons. Firstly, the elderly often do not follow themselves: they look bad and poorly, exude an unpleasant smell, can begin to loudly blow their nose and cough, etc. ... What motivates them is not always clear (you can not write off everything on the bad social conditions in Russia, because someone still manages to look and behave aesthetically!). All this happens in a modern society, where beauty and harmony have long been important. Secondly, it may be difficult for the elderly to contact and be near - their conversations sometimes look like a little-understood stream of chaotic thoughts close to marasmus. They often wedged intrusive ideas, furiously emanating from the senile, toothless mouth. Indeed, being heirs of not the best Soviet times, the old people are often not adapted to modern realities. This explains their slowness and inability to absorb any new technologies. In their time in fact even a hint of such progress was not! Faced with one or two similar subjects, it seems to us that they are all like that. So stereotypes are born, which later themselves have an impact on our attitude to old age. At first you see such elderly people, be rude to them, and then it seems to you that you will become like that, and you will also be rude, after which you begin to be insanely afraid of old age. So it turns out a vicious circle. You can only break it. Feeling a wave of irritation and anger towards the next strange old man rolling up to his throat, stop and think about why he behaves this way. Perhaps you will experience pity and sympathy instead of anger, maybe you will even want to help him in some way. Well, if his behavior is completely beyond the bounds of decency and seriously offends you, try to protect yourself from communicating with this person. For example, choose to visit such hours at the post office, in which the smallest concentration of older people. And remember that your old age, it is quite possible, will be a reflection of your current actions towards older people, because your children will learn to respect your elders.
Work and old age
In connection with the fact that the human psyche is undergoingchanges, the same thing happens with working capacity. It's not a secret for anyone that there is a certain limit, after crossing which a person may have problems with finding and finding a job. Is it justified its existence? For a number of professions - yes. For example, the profession of an athlete, a ballerina, an actress or a soldier suggests a career peak to thirty years and retirement at forty. This is due to the high demands on the physical form, and the person working in these areas, it is necessary to reconcile with early retirement. However, there are occupations in which the career peak falls on the interval from thirty to sixty-seventy years. As a rule, this applies to working specialties, the service sector and other professions that do not require a huge amount of theoretical knowledge - practical skills come to the fore here. And, finally, there are professions in which the competence of a person grows with age. These are administrators, politicians, scientists, lawyers, doctors and other specialties, in which life and professional experience is of great importance. Also, somewhere up to sixty years, the quality of the performing and advisory activities, the quality of the test work, the ability to organize work increase. This can well compensate for the fact that with age, creative imagination, initiative and efficiency in raising the professional level decrease. Thus, your "professional" old age depends entirely on your specialty. Fortunately, some professions generally do not presume retirement, and you can work as long as you want. So you can make a choice based on your own characteristics and the situation on the labor market, and any choice is always wonderful!
Life after old age
You probably already realized the simple fact thatold age can be very, very different. As factors influencing its quality, the choice of a profession, health, and even a mental state were mentioned above. Thus, the individual manifestations of aging are very broad: old age can be normal, and can be pathological. In the case of normal old age, people compensate for the losses they incur, for example, by doing special exercises. In this case, the person does not have serious illnesses. Pathological old age comes with various diseases, unpleasant phenomena occurring in the body (all sorts of strokes, heart attacks, paralysis, sclerosis, etc. ...). Undoubtedly, old age is not a flowering of vitality and tone (although some people do it!). But, according to research, it should not be accompanied by serious illnesses at all - this is not the norm. In your power to postpone this moment or even achieve its non-occurrence - for this we must carefully and lovingly treat our body and not be afraid of the state of infirmity (as is known, sometimes our fears materialize). In addition, people can adapt to almost everything. In particular, there are cases when people with disabilities continued to engage in creativity, for example, writing novels lying in bed. There is another interesting type of aging - when the biological age does not correspond to the mental age. Of course, this can be a very sad option when a thirty-year-old woman behaves like a deep old woman: "Oh, nothing shines in my life - it would be better to die!". But there may be a reverse option. All of you probably saw merry and positive old men (unfortunately, this phenomenon is more typical of foreign retirees), who joke about something, go in shorts and actively travel. Psychologists conducted an interesting study: they compared expectations - "what will I be in my old age" - with reality - "what am I on pension". The results were quite inspiring: people expected much greater health problems, financial problems, feelings of social helplessness and loneliness. Many even noted an improvement in well-being, a sense of freedom, an interest in pursuing your favorite deeds. Accordingly, there are no real statistical grounds for expecting a sad and miserable old age. The well-known Russian psychologist Igor Semenovich Kohn has more details about the pathological and normal aging. He described various types of old age, which can be both prosperous and unsuccessful. It is the kind of old age, in his opinion, that determines the person's well-being. Con lists the following types of successful aging:
- Active creative old age. Such people very late retire, trying as much as possible to delay this moment. But even after parting with difficulty, a person continues to actively participate in public life, educates young people, etc. ... Some psychologists believe that this may be due to poor relations in the family and lack of realism in this area, but the most important is the high satisfaction that this type of old age brings.
- Old age with a beautiful social andpsychological fitness. In this case, the energy of an aging person is directed towards the organization of one's own life: financial well-being, rest, entertainment and self-development. Such a person in old age is engaged in all those things that did not have time to do in ordinary life. And, of course, he likes it.
- "Female" type of aging. In this case the elderly person takes on various family troubles: household duties, education of grandchildren, work at the dacha, etc. Since family troubles are usually inexhaustible, it is sometimes time for old men to be bored or moped, respectively, they are, in general, satisfied with their lives. However, this satisfaction is lower than in all other well-off cases, due to the fact that these domestic chores still are not genuine self-realization for most people.
- "Male" type of aging, or old age in caring forhealth. In this case, a person enjoys filling life with various options for taking care of health. They stimulate the activity of such an old man: he enjoys doing sports, is interested in healthy food systems, goes to some health club. However, in this case, anxiety about your body is often excessive and is accompanied by various fears and anxieties that can force a person to pay too much attention to their real and imaginary ailments and make them go to doctors for a long time. But in general, such an old man is usually quite satisfied with his life.
Unfortunately, not all people are so relativelygrow old safely - there are also very sad options. Rereading their description, it remains only to hope that you, our dear readers, will never face such a thing. These include:
- Forever all dissatisfied grumblers. They are completely unhappy with the state of the outside world, criticizing everyone and everything, except for themselves. They possess the desire of all to teach and terrorize with endless claims. Especially often scolded "non-existing youth." Often such a variant comes to people who by nature have always been aggressive, and in their old age their aggression finds a way out in such an unpleasant way. It's like their own version of self-realization.
- Lonely sad losers. These people are disappointed in themselves and in their own lives. They constantly scold and blame themselves for their real and imaginary missed opportunities, regret the mistakes made in life and are unable to drive away the gloomy memories of an unpleasant past experience. All this makes them deeply unhappy.
There is one very useful thing that cansignificantly improve the standard of living in old age. These are the skills, skills, occupations and areas of interest that we acquire in adolescence and adolescence, we forget in maturity, and in old age we remember again. An example of such lessons can be drawing or writing poetry: as a teenager, you just indulged in it, but later, in old age, this hobby can be very useful and become for you a source of vitality and inspiration. An interesting fact: very many young parents complain about their spouses - and the child does not help, and pays little time, and does not follow. But if you ask them the same question about the satisfaction with family life after the moment when adult children leave their parents' nest, the answer may surprise you - most people are very positive about their family life. Thus, many people who live together until the old age. evaluate their family life as good, and their partner - as appropriate to them. In general, the evaluation of lived life is one of the most important issues facing an elderly person. He has two ways: he can positively relate to how he lived his life, and thus accept himself, or fall into despair, thinking about how he lived poorly. As a rule, this is expressed in the presence or absence of fear of death and in the fact that a person talks about his life. The ability to learn from a past life is also important.
Old age - in joy?
So, our article is coming to its end. However, one very important practical question remained unresolved - how to make your old age happy and prosperous? Even if it seems to you that this life period will never come, it is superfluous to do something good for this already now. No, you do not need to turn into a young girl who is preoccupied with the future old age - just live. But read our recommendations - just in case.
After reading the above,a very important and interesting conclusion - old age in our head. Certainly, much depends on the state of health and the foundations of society, but our attitude to old age has the greatest weight. If you perceive it as fading, the end of life and the harbinger of death, then so it will be. Old age will not bring you any joy, and you will spend whole days lying on the couch and feeling sad about the past waiting for the end. But, you see, it's a pity to throw a few dozen years into the trash. Therefore, we must do everything you can to ensure that your old age can be said - "the golden age of life." We advise you to read: