how to forget your beloved You had everything: walks under the moon, candlelit dinners, passionate sex - in a word, romance! And then in an instant all this was gone. "I'm leaving you," these sad words break off from your favorite lips, and the whole world around you collapses. How to recover from this? How to forget your beloved? The most effective and working ways are just for you!

Action plan

To begin with, it's worth realizing that it's quick to forgetthe beloved man will not succeed. Still, he occupied an important place in your life, you spent a lot of time with him, and it just does not work that way. Now you are experiencing the loss of a significant person, accordingly, some negative feelings will be, and trying to forget them or push them away is pointless, and maybe even harmful. Awareness of the reality of what is happening Very often a woman can not forget a once-beloved man because of her own reluctance to move on. Naturally, because this implies passing through unpleasant experiences - where it's easier to remain in the beautiful illusions of a happy past. You may have an unwillingness to accept what is happening - it is a reaction of shock and denial. It can last up to two weeks, but anything that drags on is already devastating for you. Why do not we want to be aware of parting? Because with this comes the sensation of a fatality of loss. You understand that nothing can be changed, and love is gone. Of course, such a thought is given very, very hard! But only through this way you can forget your beloved man and start life anew. What can help speed up the process? Talk to others about your separation. Now is not the time to think that you are complaining or bothering your friends - pronouncing your loss helps make it aware. Tell them how bad you are and what is missing after the break. And when the initial stage of shock and negation is over, throw out of your life everything that reminds of the "former" and prevents him from forgetting: shirts, souvenirs, disks, books, perhaps even gifts. The latter, by the way, is not necessary - only if he greatly offended you. A reasonable compromise will hide them while out of sight, and when the process goes, you can get it - after all, once you loved each other, and these things are a memory of that bright period. In the age of information technology can not ignore the number of links with a once-beloved person, which prevent one from forgetting about it. If earlier these were things left to them in an apartment in a hurry and a phone number in a notebook, now such informational threads are much larger: a page in social networks, contacts in skype and ICQ, esemeski and so on. You will have to get rid of all this, otherwise you will have a desire to write something to him or show your depressive state to cause guilt. All this does not help to forget the once-beloved person. An exit for feelings After realization of parting by logic of things there should come the second stage - splashing out of emotions. After all, how are we? Man is a proud being, and no one should see his suffering, and they are not interesting to anyone. But it's all nonsense! Real friends will always sympathize and empathize with a loved one who is in a difficult situation. It is simply impossible to forget about this! So feel free to grieve with them. But do not go too far and run from the experience of grief to friends in the initial stages - it will still catch you in one form or another. In addition to sadness, you are likely to manifest aggression, because you were so fond of this bastard, and he repaid you so! Feelings are quite natural and understandable. They also should not be restrained, although the primary impulse arises - of course, because it's not good to be angry with people, and you seem to be guilty of something yourself. But you have the right to aggression! You can yell at an empty chair, write a "former" wrathful letter and burn it, destroy any of its thing left by you. You can even call him and talk nastily - only in a sober way, otherwise it will not be an expression of emotion, but a nonsense drunk woman. In general, do not tighten your emotions in a hard corset, because in one way or another they will break out - perhaps in the form of neurotic symptoms, psychosomatic disorders and problems in communicating with men. There is one good psychological exercise, the purpose of which is to live your feelings and merge with them. Enter your emotions inward, realize them and bring yourself to white heat. After that, ask yourself: "What do you want now?". It is possible that you will have a desire to break something or destroy it - do not hold it back. Beat the pillow, tear paper or cloth, beat the dishes, say good mate - just hide the valuable things in advance. Gradually, the spiritual heat will go down. The result of the exercise "body-emotions-mind" should be apathy and reluctance to move, "cotton" muscles, devastation inside the soul and in the head. You should not want to walk or say - as if from the inside, you vacuumed everything. However, it can also be in another way: all sorts of thoughts come into the head, and the body will remain tense. Do not be afraid of this, just an exercise, it happens, does not work the first time. Repeat it after a while - and you will reach the goal. how to forget a beloved man forever Return to Life Time passes, and in yourlife comes the third stage of parting - "healing the wounds of the soul" and a return to life. By the way, immediately forget about the experiences will not work, but gradually they will cease to have authority over you and will only appear occasionally. This at first helps avoiding all sorts of "memorable" points: the place of the first kiss, the first anniversary, the favorite cafe, etc. ... Firstly, there is a possibility to meet there your "former", and, secondly, after the main residence of grief there is no need to hurt yourself once again. For the same reason, it is not necessary to ask common acquaintances about how things are going with him - you really are not interested in it? It is not necessary to lie in the morning in bed, especially if disturbing all bad thoughts. Activate at work or in school - most likely, you have podzabrosili these spheres, and now it's time to make up for lost time. Call your friends and girlfriends - only this time not to cry, but in order to somehow otvazno spend time together. Go to a bar or club, dance all night and return home in the morning. More read and watch movies - only not snotty melodramas, but something bright, interesting and important. Flip through the shops with your best friend and buy a couple of mind-blowing outfits. Write down for drawing courses or for dancing - in general, do what you have wanted for a long time, but there was not enough time. Oh yeah, another great tip - instead of being sad for the "former" and trying to forget it, swing the press. Yearning will pass, and a flat stomach will be a huge bonus to a new life. In addition, physical activity contributes to the production of hormones of joy, and generally structurally good time. Positive assimilation The final stage of any crisis process is its assimilation or, in scientific terms, assimilation. In your relationship there was something good, for some reason they were needed. Think about these aspects, remember the positive aspects of your relationship - but not to become sad and set out to return to the "former", but in order to learn some useful lesson. For example, he was a rare pig, constantly lied to you, shouted and lent money. It would seem, what useful lesson can one learn from this? And the fact that you now know exactly with which men do not need to communicate. And it should immediately strangle the hope that he will change. This will not happen, therefore, thanks to the problems in the now-former relationships, you know exactly what you want from the future. In addition, the very fact of parting is important. Remember the quote of the famous German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche: "What does not kill makes us stronger"? He was damn right! And psychologists add that such deep and strong experiences help you feel the fullness of life, and also contribute to personal growth. No life crisis and self-awareness can not do without something like that. The main thing is not to delay with this and not get stuck in grief. Creation The final stage, conducive to forgetting the beloved man. If all the others are mandatory and unavoidable, then this is voluntary. But it's worth using if you want to change your life for the better and become happy after parting with the "former". Strong stresses, as we already mentioned above, release enormous internal reserves of energy, which it would be good to let on something useful and important. Creation can be expressed in anything. The example given by us about trainings and formation of the figure is an excellent variant for those who wishes to start up energy in a peaceful channel. In general, creating one's own appearance is number one on the list of important issues for the near future. Anyway, parting with the "former", most likely, has compromised your self-esteem, and there is no better way to raise it than to become a stunning beauty. Update the wardrobe, make a new haircut, buy a new cool nail polish - all these things will transform you and, maybe, make him bite your elbows. But it's not necessary to be killed in the gym five times a week. If the sport is not yours, you can do the decorating of the apartment. Agree, any girl dreams of a chic interior. Why not make yourself a present? Read the relevant articles, buy materials, call girlfriends on a visit - and start decorating your life! You can also have a pet (if, of course, you do not already have one). The cat will become an excellent warming hot-water bottle on cool spring evenings, and the dog will be a true friend, requiring a lot of care and care. There will be no time to miss! Thus, the most important thing at this stage is to feel the authorship of one's own life and learn how to create it. It does not matter which way you choose - studying foreign languages ​​or windsurfing - in any case, it should bring you pleasure and joy. how to forget your beloved man correctly

Possible difficulties and solutions

Oh, if you forget your beloved was sojust! "Of course! - you think. - The authors of the article can easily argue on this topic. But to really do this is much more difficult than enumerating a few tips. There are so many traps on this path! ". We want to talk about them.

  • There is a class of people who do not feed bread -Give plenty to suffer The role of the victim has a number of unobvious bonuses at first glance. First of all, parting with the "former" becomes an occasion to get a lot of attention and concern from others. Particularly affectionately, women begin to behave, as if each of them experienced unhappy love! In addition, attempts to forget a beloved man are great for being optional and forget about responsibility. A friend asks for help? No, you broke up with your beloved! A colleague is waiting for a report? There's nothing else you can do. The saddest thing is that the role of the victim is very addictive and devastates you, without giving you the opportunity to go further.
  • It is very difficult for a woman when she is stillrecently a loved one suddenly for no reason from this part with her And even harder if after a while he changed his mind about your gap and decided to return you. Of course, you can agree, but then the likelihood of repeating such a story is not ruled out. If you are determined to stand on your own and not to contact more with this changeable nature, at the most difficult moment of the experience of parting, write yourself a letter. In it, tell in detail to yourself - the one from the future - about the unpleasant type of your "ex", how many nasty things he did to you and how ugly he acted with you, having parted. Subsequently, when the urge to reestablish a relationship, re-read the letter, using it as an inoculation against credulity.
  • Schemes on the part of the "former" Reverse option -if he decided to part with you, and even ruin your life. It's unclear what you are punishing for, but you need to live with it somehow. On maximum, try to shield yourself from the possibility of being offended by it. Nowhere intersect with the "former" so that he can not spoil your mood: change your favorite cafes, bars, clubs and gym. On his petty dirty trick, react with a smile, as if a harmful hooligan boy is trying to annoy you (in fact, it is true). But if it's about more serious things, think about the leverage of pressure on the "former." Still, you have to defend yourself, so do not hesitate to involve adequate instances of the institution and use your knowledge against it - but only within the limits of morally permissible self-defense.
  • Universal sorrow is inevitable in attemptsforget the once beloved man This sadness has some good - you become stronger. But morally it does not make you feel better! How can you allow yourself to keep an acceptable level of sadness not to roll into a black yearning? Use a cure for sadness - notes with a portion of happiness for each day. Take a hundred small pieces of colored paper and write on them something nice for yourself: a compliment, a description of something good and beautiful, a life-affirming installation. We guarantee that this will miraculously brighten up the period of disappointment and longing in life, inevitably following the parting.
  • Daily meetings with the "former" Usually soIt happens if you work together. This is a difficult test for those who have just experienced a disappointment in love, but do not rush to run to the boss and write a statement of resignation. You can offer your candidacy for promotion or simply transfer to another department. Who knows - maybe this parting will become crucial in your career? And do not forget to relax after those moments when it still catches your eye.
  • "Wedge wedge the wedge ..." When you askadvice from her friends about how to forget a beloved man, they often recommend you with a head to go into a new eye-popping novel. The option seems interesting, but only from a distance. Yes, it really can drive out of your head all-all-all possible thoughts about the "former." But think about it! Firstly, it is not fair to another man - it's not his fault that you are using it to try to forget the old love. Secondly, even if you have no intention of using a person, luggage from the past simply hinders building a normal relationship. Thirdly, if something goes wrong (and the risk of this is very high), you run the risk of becoming even more depressed. Do you want it?
  • Remember that you do not have to be insensitivean iron lady. Any woman will confirm to you that parting with a beloved man and the need to forget him is one of the most difficult experiences in life. But you will certainly cope with this. In the end, millions of girls before you did this and millions after it is still to come! We advise you to read:

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