You had everything: walks under the moon, candlelit dinners, passionate sex - in a word, romance! And then in an instant all this was gone. "I'm leaving you," these sad words break off from your favorite lips, and the whole world around you collapses. How to recover from this? How to forget your beloved? The most effective and working ways are just for you!
To begin with, it's worth realizing that it's quick to forgetthe beloved man will not succeed. Still, he occupied an important place in your life, you spent a lot of time with him, and it just does not work that way. Now you are experiencing the loss of a significant person, accordingly, some negative feelings will be, and trying to forget them or push them away is pointless, and maybe even harmful. Awareness of the reality of what is happening Very often a woman can not forget a once-beloved man because of her own reluctance to move on. Naturally, because this implies passing through unpleasant experiences - where it's easier to remain in the beautiful illusions of a happy past. You may have an unwillingness to accept what is happening - it is a reaction of shock and denial. It can last up to two weeks, but anything that drags on is already devastating for you. Why do not we want to be aware of parting? Because with this comes the sensation of a fatality of loss. You understand that nothing can be changed, and love is gone. Of course, such a thought is given very, very hard! But only through this way you can forget your beloved man and start life anew. What can help speed up the process? Talk to others about your separation. Now is not the time to think that you are complaining or bothering your friends - pronouncing your loss helps make it aware. Tell them how bad you are and what is missing after the break. And when the initial stage of shock and negation is over, throw out of your life everything that reminds of the "former" and prevents him from forgetting: shirts, souvenirs, disks, books, perhaps even gifts. The latter, by the way, is not necessary - only if he greatly offended you. A reasonable compromise will hide them while out of sight, and when the process goes, you can get it - after all, once you loved each other, and these things are a memory of that bright period. In the age of information technology can not ignore the number of links with a once-beloved person, which prevent one from forgetting about it. If earlier these were things left to them in an apartment in a hurry and a phone number in a notebook, now such informational threads are much larger: a page in social networks, contacts in skype and ICQ, esemeski and so on. You will have to get rid of all this, otherwise you will have a desire to write something to him or show your depressive state to cause guilt. All this does not help to forget the once-beloved person. An exit for feelings After realization of parting by logic of things there should come the second stage - splashing out of emotions. After all, how are we? Man is a proud being, and no one should see his suffering, and they are not interesting to anyone. But it's all nonsense! Real friends will always sympathize and empathize with a loved one who is in a difficult situation. It is simply impossible to forget about this! So feel free to grieve with them. But do not go too far and run from the experience of grief to friends in the initial stages - it will still catch you in one form or another. In addition to sadness, you are likely to manifest aggression, because you were so fond of this bastard, and he repaid you so! Feelings are quite natural and understandable. They also should not be restrained, although the primary impulse arises - of course, because it's not good to be angry with people, and you seem to be guilty of something yourself. But you have the right to aggression! You can yell at an empty chair, write a "former" wrathful letter and burn it, destroy any of its thing left by you. You can even call him and talk nastily - only in a sober way, otherwise it will not be an expression of emotion, but a nonsense drunk woman. In general, do not tighten your emotions in a hard corset, because in one way or another they will break out - perhaps in the form of neurotic symptoms, psychosomatic disorders and problems in communicating with men. There is one good psychological exercise, the purpose of which is to live your feelings and merge with them. Enter your emotions inward, realize them and bring yourself to white heat. After that, ask yourself: "What do you want now?". It is possible that you will have a desire to break something or destroy it - do not hold it back. Beat the pillow, tear paper or cloth, beat the dishes, say good mate - just hide the valuable things in advance. Gradually, the spiritual heat will go down. The result of the exercise "body-emotions-mind" should be apathy and reluctance to move, "cotton" muscles, devastation inside the soul and in the head. You should not want to walk or say - as if from the inside, you vacuumed everything. However, it can also be in another way: all sorts of thoughts come into the head, and the body will remain tense. Do not be afraid of this, just an exercise, it happens, does not work the first time. Repeat it after a while - and you will reach the goal. Return to Life Time passes, and in yourlife comes the third stage of parting - "healing the wounds of the soul" and a return to life. By the way, immediately forget about the experiences will not work, but gradually they will cease to have authority over you and will only appear occasionally. This at first helps avoiding all sorts of "memorable" points: the place of the first kiss, the first anniversary, the favorite cafe, etc. ... Firstly, there is a possibility to meet there your "former", and, secondly, after the main residence of grief there is no need to hurt yourself once again. For the same reason, it is not necessary to ask common acquaintances about how things are going with him - you really are not interested in it? It is not necessary to lie in the morning in bed, especially if disturbing all bad thoughts. Activate at work or in school - most likely, you have podzabrosili these spheres, and now it's time to make up for lost time. Call your friends and girlfriends - only this time not to cry, but in order to somehow otvazno spend time together. Go to a bar or club, dance all night and return home in the morning. More read and watch movies - only not snotty melodramas, but something bright, interesting and important. Flip through the shops with your best friend and buy a couple of mind-blowing outfits. Write down for drawing courses or for dancing - in general, do what you have wanted for a long time, but there was not enough time. Oh yeah, another great tip - instead of being sad for the "former" and trying to forget it, swing the press. Yearning will pass, and a flat stomach will be a huge bonus to a new life. In addition, physical activity contributes to the production of hormones of joy, and generally structurally good time. Positive assimilation The final stage of any crisis process is its assimilation or, in scientific terms, assimilation. In your relationship there was something good, for some reason they were needed. Think about these aspects, remember the positive aspects of your relationship - but not to become sad and set out to return to the "former", but in order to learn some useful lesson. For example, he was a rare pig, constantly lied to you, shouted and lent money. It would seem, what useful lesson can one learn from this? And the fact that you now know exactly with which men do not need to communicate. And it should immediately strangle the hope that he will change. This will not happen, therefore, thanks to the problems in the now-former relationships, you know exactly what you want from the future. In addition, the very fact of parting is important. Remember the quote of the famous German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche: "What does not kill makes us stronger"? He was damn right! And psychologists add that such deep and strong experiences help you feel the fullness of life, and also contribute to personal growth. No life crisis and self-awareness can not do without something like that. The main thing is not to delay with this and not get stuck in grief. Creation The final stage, conducive to forgetting the beloved man. If all the others are mandatory and unavoidable, then this is voluntary. But it's worth using if you want to change your life for the better and become happy after parting with the "former". Strong stresses, as we already mentioned above, release enormous internal reserves of energy, which it would be good to let on something useful and important. Creation can be expressed in anything. The example given by us about trainings and formation of the figure is an excellent variant for those who wishes to start up energy in a peaceful channel. In general, creating one's own appearance is number one on the list of important issues for the near future. Anyway, parting with the "former", most likely, has compromised your self-esteem, and there is no better way to raise it than to become a stunning beauty. Update the wardrobe, make a new haircut, buy a new cool nail polish - all these things will transform you and, maybe, make him bite your elbows. But it's not necessary to be killed in the gym five times a week. If the sport is not yours, you can do the decorating of the apartment. Agree, any girl dreams of a chic interior. Why not make yourself a present? Read the relevant articles, buy materials, call girlfriends on a visit - and start decorating your life! You can also have a pet (if, of course, you do not already have one). The cat will become an excellent warming hot-water bottle on cool spring evenings, and the dog will be a true friend, requiring a lot of care and care. There will be no time to miss! Thus, the most important thing at this stage is to feel the authorship of one's own life and learn how to create it. It does not matter which way you choose - studying foreign languages or windsurfing - in any case, it should bring you pleasure and joy.
Possible difficulties and solutions
Oh, if you forget your beloved was sojust! "Of course! - you think. - The authors of the article can easily argue on this topic. But to really do this is much more difficult than enumerating a few tips. There are so many traps on this path! ". We want to talk about them.
Remember that you do not have to be insensitivean iron lady. Any woman will confirm to you that parting with a beloved man and the need to forget him is one of the most difficult experiences in life. But you will certainly cope with this. In the end, millions of girls before you did this and millions after it is still to come! We advise you to read: