That's all: The last words were said, and you collected things in a suitcase in complete silence. But even recently, it seemed to you that with this person you will meet together an old age in a small house on the shore of a quiet river. Now, swallowing unbidden tears, you are racking your brains over how to start a new life. In fact, this is a very difficult question. Moreover, when it seems that behind this door, studded with cheap dermatitis, there is no life at all. Only here, next to this person was your happiness. It was with him that you fried eggs in the kitchen yesterday and drank bitter tea. And burned toast, forgotten in a pan. Because I really wanted to kiss. Now the man of your dreams does not even look in your direction. That's good. Because there is no love in the eye that was before. Unfortunately, now everything is different. You are almost enemies, although you promised to be friends with each other. Actually, it's some kind of paradox. If you betray a friend, then he becomes an enemy. And if a loved one, then for some reason we remain friends with him. What's the matter? For what is an honorary title? You will think about this later, as Scarlett said from the movie "Gone with the Wind." And now think only of yourself. Do not panic and beg for a husband to forget all the grievances, so that everything is as before. In fact, starting a new life after a divorce is much easier than it seems at first glance. The main thing is to follow the golden rules, which helped not one ten women. You in fact not the first and not last representative of a fair sex on the earth which has faced a similar problem. And let's agree: let everything be like a doctor's at the reception. Said to do? So, do not sit still and wait for the manna of heaven, but act. Do not swear between love and hate. Between the desire to start over and come back. Have you closed the door? Do not try to open it again. Otherwise, after a few months, you will again read the guide for divorced women: "How to start a new life."
We translate the spirit and comprehend the situation
If you can not move to anothercity, and you are forced to walk with your former one on one street and constantly stumble on those places where once were together, leave this locality for a while. Just do not try to get caught in his eyes! So, first buy yourself a ticket. Only not on the sea, where you will not be busy and again plunge into the abyss of experience. Go to the ski resort. Or get together on a tour of the mountain rivers. A couple of hours with a heavy paddle in a kayak - and you will forget not only your ex, but also your name. Or go abroad, walk around someone else's city. The whole day to exhaustion, view the sights and monuments of culture and architecture. And it does not matter that you are not a fan of hiking, and you hear about Botticelli or Van Gogh for the first time. And yet: no phones, mail and e-mails. Your task is to take your mind off the worldly life. So do not go to your page in contact or classmates to "admire" the photos of the former and mourn their bitter fate. And do not get carried away by sad music!
We stop communicating with the former: break off communication
Have you decided to start a new life? Then do not let the old influence the course of events. Do not communicate with an ex-husband after divorce for at least six months or a year. Absolutely. Even on the phone, do not ask how he's doing. If he did get through, do not make contact. Say that you are busy and you can not talk. And best of all, if you ask him not to try to establish communication with you. And yet - fastened. At first, life after leaving the family will be difficult. After all, this is the most difficult part of recovery procedures. I always want to call and tell everything that I did not have time to tell at the last scandal. You do not need to do this, no matter how much you do not want to. Believe me, this is not important and will not be of interest to anyone. You will only make yourself worse, as you begin to get nervous, worry and get angry again. The option to call, hear the voice of a loved one and hang up also does not count. Also limit communication with common friends, who usually have a habit of telling about the former passion. "And your hair was cut." "Mishka, I heard, jerked to the south. They say that with some 20-year-old criminals. " "Michael was completely drained and thin. And dirty some. Maybe you would return to him? "All these facts will not help you. Only wipe old wounds. Therefore, "good" friends - in the ignore. Otherwise, how to start a new life after a divorce, if you will regret or hate it.
Getting rid of old things
Give or throw away everything that you canreminiscent of your ex-husband. If the break was particularly painful, we advise you to get rid of even memorable gifts (such as the Crimean shells with the inscription "Masha from Misha with Love" or a silver chain with a pendant). It's a pity? Nothing, in the future you will acquire the same unnecessary knick-knacks that will be donated by the new gentleman. Especially valuable things that throw out and give away stupidly, it is better to put it in a box and put it on the mezzanine. Gold products can be exchanged in a jeweler's salon with surcharge, while on more beautiful and elegant. And you will be pleased with a new decoration, and get rid of memories. Do not watch movies that looked together. Do not go to restaurants, where he once invited you. Free your subconscious. Do not give him a reason to whisper to you: "Do you remember, HOW was it good for you?". Believe me, next time with a new passion you will be even better.
Transform and change for the better
Often, women, left without a husband, fall intodepression and launch themselves to such an extent that it is sometimes even frightening to look in the mirror. An old robe or a leaky shirt, worn jeans, no makeup on your face - no trace remains of such beauty in such cases. But how can you start a new life, if you are in it the same as before, or even worse. Therefore, immediately change your hair style, style of dress, lifestyle. Only, naturally, without fanaticism. Shaved on a bald head forgive only megastars (such as Britney Spears or Rihanna). And even then - with a stretch. But at the same time, the changes must be cardinal. To cut the split ends does not count. Haircut should be smart and expensive. After all, if you spend a lot of money on yourself, you will know yourself the price. In this case, you just do not want to be exchanged for trifles in the future. Start wearing mini skirts and heels. Will be painted in a red color. Forget the dull tail and lack of makeup. Now you are not "ordinary wife", but a WOMAN. So be sexy, gentle, playful, as befits the fair sex. Look, it's not you after looked around the man? That's the same!
Doing sports and putting the figure in order
So, you have to set yourself two goals. So, the first is sport. Begin a new life with fitness, a treadmill, a swimming pool. This will help you bring your figure in order: get rid of the sides and a small tummy, puff up the buttocks and chest. The main thing is to find what you really need. If, for example, you do not like running around and monotonously lifting dumbbells, sign up for a dance. The effect will be the same, but, in addition to everything, you will learn to move beautifully. The second task is to get physical relaxation. Has a wave of memories? And in the eyes of zashchipalo, and clearly not from the wind? The solution is - a treadmill or simulators where you can lower steam. For the sake of justice, it should be noted that this method, unfortunately, does not suit everyone. Some are much easier to distract, sitting at the computer and playing games, reading books or cleaning in the apartment. Do not advise to knock down the depression with biscuit cakes. Do not argue, they are very tasty. But they increase not only the mood, but also the weight. You do not want the former to see your blurred figure after a couple of months and gloat, that without it, precious, you just go crazy and get fat?
Looking for a hobby for the soul
Find yourself a hobby for the soul. Draw, sing karaoke, dance. Do whatever you want, if only it would give you pleasure. Do you remember what you dreamed of as a child or a young man? Can dance a rumba? Or become a fashion designer? Whatever it is, translate ideas into reality. Now you can not only start a new life, but also resurrect all dreams. No one else will mock the ear: "Masha, you dance like a bear. Come, I'd better kiss you. " By the way, it's much easier to make a successful career. After all, you no longer have to stand by the stove, preparing breakfast, lunch and dinner. And clean up in the apartment now you can and once a week. Nobody will be littering!
Learning to analyze your mistakes
Analyze yourself and your actions only needonly after you understand that the thoughts of the former young man no longer cause irritation. When you stop flashing from the sound of his name or the trills of your mobile phone. When in the mirror a new woman will be displayed - postroynevshaya, in a sexy dress and with a stylish and elegant hairdo (yes, this is you). When the phone book will refuse to save numbers, complaining about the crowded memory. In the end, when you are all the same with whom he is. Previously, it does not make sense, since you will engage in self-flagellation. By the way, we only analyze our mistakes. Reflections on what he is a goat, we leave for compassionate girlfriends. They will wash your bones better than you. Yes, so that you even feel sorry for him. Pay attention - this is not digging in dirty laundry, but trying to hedge against such mistakes in the future.
What not to do to a divorced woman
And now let's talk about where to start a newlife is strictly prohibited. The first is tears. Unfortunately, women are more sentimental than men. They need to cry, tear photos, beat dishes. So you can do it once. A maximum of two. Having wept in vain, forbid yourself to pour tears for any reason, otherwise you will have red and swollen eyelids, sick eyes. Learn to keep your nose to the wind. Also, do not start with alcohol and drugs. No, no, we do not consider you an alcoholic or a drug addict. Simply favorite friends usually come to visit with a bottle of comfort "which is stronger." Multiply the amount of alcohol by the number of girlfriends. A LOT OF. Therefore, you should not drink. Moreover, all the stupidities of women are committed to a drunken head. Who knows that, in addition to the headache and dehydration, you will still find yourself. Also, you do not need to rush headlong into a new relationship. The one who claimed that the wedge was knocked out with a wedge was wrong. Of course, you can meet and make love with anyone, but just do not fall in love with the first person and do not open your soul to him. And even more so, do not get married. Why? Just take my word for it. If you read the plan on how to start a new life, began its implementation, but broke off, start again. Do not give up. Did not work for the first time? It turns out in the second. Did not work out in the second? You will overcome in the third. After all, it's not about an abandoned book, it's about your fate. So let it be successful!
Looking for positive sides
Many women are wondering if there is a lifeafter divorce? Of course, and how! But in fact, everything depends on you. If you want to be like a poor cousin, which everyone regrets, then so it will be. However, it is very difficult to find a worthy partner for such women. Sometimes, they will meet a good and intelligent person, and on the second date he escapes. What is their problem? Remember once and for all: men do not want to be every counter vest. Plus, if you are watering the former with mud, there is a risk that you and his eyes will insult. The second option is more optimistic. You will finally become independent, free, confidently moving forward. Such women cause jealousy among rivals, admiration for men. And let the former husband cry with bitter tears, that you did not get it. In that case, you will understand that divorce is not the end of the world, but the beginning of something new and unexplored. If you find it difficult to adapt and you can not get out of depression, contact a psychologist. It will help you tune in to the right way, sort out your thoughts, get rid of hatred. Just a few sessions, and you will no longer be tormented by doubts whether there is life after the divorce. We advise you to read: