Divorce in our time no one is surprised, the numberunsuccessful marriages grow with frightening speed both in our country and all over the world. Earlier, a hundred years ago, married once and for life. Now put in the passport stamp on divorce is as simple as going to the cinema or to the store for bread. Neither you struggle for a relationship, nor love and mutual respect. The slightest problem, and - bang, divorce! And we are not talking about compromises and attempts to save the family, just to not stop feeling like a modern emancipated woman. After all, it is much easier than trying to understand another person and learn to see the true causes of the disorder in the family. In many respects this behavior of young (and not very) people is promoted by the desire for freedom from any shackles and obligations imposed by the numerous media. Say, do not tolerate beside yourself unworthy men, forward to freedom and independence! But when a wedding was played, the husband certainly seemed both worthy, loved, and the most expensive person in the world. Really during the marriage, he has changed so much, or is it you have influenced him not in the best way? Fortunately, not everything is so bad: there are also couples who sincerely want to build a strong family, which would become a reliable rear, capable of withstanding any blows of fate. If you also dream of saving the family for many years, read our tips. Perhaps, they will help you strengthen the family ties.
Learn to respect and understand each other
Respect for each other ... It would seem that the capitaltruth, but not all people take these words seriously. As a rule, at the very beginning of a romantic relationship, the issue of respecting one's partner is not worth it at all, because both lovers are too passionate about each other. The first problems most often arise when people begin to live together, because the common life is the perfect ground for the manifestation of all negative traits of character. The first love passes quickly, and if the relationship is based only on passion or material benefits, then 3-4 years after the wedding, the couple has a hard time. The veil of romance is falling from the eyes of the couple, and they see each other in true light, with their shortcomings and "cockroaches" in their heads. It's not enough just to love and desire a man, you need to learn to respect him and accept him as he is. Unfortunately, or fortunately, it is almost impossible to remake the character of a person, especially at a conscious age. And why? You chose him and fell in love, so there is no point in resenting him. Some people initially have the ability to respect their partner in any seemingly insignificant trifles, but many have to learn to be lenient to the shortcomings of their second half. And just everything is necessary - to understand a person and to accept with all his complexes, fears and bad habits. Something can certainly be corrected, but basically you need to learn how to respect a man and find advantages in his behavior. Many women do not even try to somehow curb their discontent with a partner or try to negotiate with him. They have been accumulating their negative emotions for years, they arrange scandalous scandals, which in both cases does not benefit the relationship. So it turns out that people do not live, but suffer, suffering each other for the sake of preserving material goods or for the sake of children. In order not to allow such a variant of the development of events and to save the family, one must consciously cultivate a respectful attitude towards one's second half. In our time it is not fashionable to say that the role of women in the family is not only to lead the husband and insist on his decision in any situation. Sometimes mildness and understanding can help more than aggressiveness and assertiveness. Insulting and harsh words, sometimes rash, can deeply injure a partner and leave a wound in his soul, which will not be easy to heal. But in fact many of us so often are sharp in judgments, not caring thus about feelings of the man. In addition, the husband and wife should be able to talk with each other. And not only about work and life, but also about your feelings. If you are dissatisfied with something or, on the contrary, you are filled with joy - why not talk about it with your spouse? You will be surprised, but not every couple can sincerely communicate with each other. Often people just keep quiet about their problems, believing that without talking, everything is clear. In fact, your second half may not even suspect that you have a cat in your soul scraping just because of him, that the reasons for your bad mood are hidden in his actions. He only sees your daily irritation, and he begins to show negative feelings towards you. Most couples who apply for a consultation with a psychologist manage to establish their relations only thanks to regular and completely frank conversations, which the doctor "prescribes" for them as the main therapy. So in order to make your family as friendly and strong as possible, you should take as a rule as much as possible to talk with your partner, discuss the smallest problems that arise and immediately solve them with the help of a compromise.
Become real friends for your children
The concept of a united family includes not onlythe relationship between husband and wife. If the family has children, then communication with them plays an important role in creating a harmonious internal microclimate. Unfortunately, most modern parents pay very little attention to the development of trusting friendships with their children, believing that one should not "drop" to the level of communication with the child on an equal footing. Of course, to lose parental authority is not worth it, but also to practice a purely authoritarian style of education, too, can not. If you have never tried to communicate with your children on an equal footing, then before you build a relationship with them, you will have to win their trust. To do this, you should begin to gradually change your behavior and a little closer to the children until they start to see in you a friend. Occupied with daily worries, problems, adults sometimes forget that children need attention, love and affection. Good nutrition, neat clothes are not the only indicators of caring for a child. At a young age, children perceive everyday welfare as a reality, and expect much more valuable signs of attention from you. Give them more time, be interested in their affairs and gently advise how to act in this or that situation. If your advice does not seem like strict reprimands or notations, children will surely listen to them and improve their behavior. Once you establish relationships with children and feel their love and trust, life will shine with new colors. Of course, you can give a lot of advice on how to keep the family friendly and strong throughout life. However, every minute displays of respect, the ability to understand each other and painstaking work to build trust with children are the "three whales" on which the majority of modern successful families are held. In addition, the overall microclimate is of great importance, which is created by the desire of all members of the family to turn it into a safe haven from all life's misfortunes, where you will always be supported and will render every help, regardless of whether you have done well or badly.