Sometimes, family life is ready to presentunexpected surprises. Until recently, your young man spoiled you with gifts, did not spare you any money or attention. But, once you started living together - everything changed. Now the husband does not give money not only to the next purse, but even to the products and to pay bills. What is the reason for this stiffness and how to deal with it?
The husband thinks you are a spender
Sometimes it happens because men are not surein the economy of their wives. They simply do not doubt: it is only a woman to take money in her hands, as she immediately runs to spend them on her own trinkets and to anyone unnecessary trash. They do not believe in common sense and sober calculation of their friends, suspect them of an easy relation to the money earned. We will not talk about women shopaholics, lowering the family budget in stores - it is clear why the husband does not give money. We are talking about ordinary, normal women, who, in addition to food in life, require clothing with shoes. What to do, men have such a character store: they are sure that buying one or two shirts per year is absolutely enough. They simply can not understand why a woman needs a few pairs of shoes and why she will not go to the same office for two weeks in a row. Try to talk with your chosen one. Do not start the conversation with terrible words: "We need to seriously talk about money!". This you only frighten a man and pre-set against your arguments. Try differently: "Dear, let's discuss some problems, I recently had a few difficulties." Having explained the reasons to him, having told about the cost of necessary purchases, you will surely receive his understanding and approval. If a man knows exactly what his finances are for and sees the need to acquire certain things, he is much easier to part with money.
Unwillingness to delve into "small" problems
There is a type of men who have never beforethey were burdened by buying products and paying bills. They are sure that all these expenses are a mere trifle, and their "Majesty" should not condescend to simple everyday problems. Torn from reality, they may not suspect that prices in grocery stores are growing like mushrooms, and the rent has nearly doubled in the past year. It's time to flip the snake's nose and present checks for food collected in a week. And receipts for rent, bills for the Internet, telephone, utilities are generally better to keep in a conspicuous place. Start a notebook of income and expenses, explain to your husband that there are no miracles. Most of your personal funds (if not all) are spent on general household expenses. After all, if you work for the payment of services and food trips, what does it work for? For a good beer in the evenings and a new smartphone? If your husband does not give money even for household expenses, what kind of equality in the family can we talk about? Try to offer him a compromise option: you invest with him in equal amounts in the household, and spend the remaining money at your discretion.
The husband is saving money for an expensive purchase
Sometimes men save money for a big purchase anddo not give wives a penny for other expenses. Well, if the husband collects money for a certain thing that is necessary for the whole family, then it will be necessary to tighten the belts and adapt to temporary difficulties. It can be a big SUV on which you together will get to work, or a voucher for a trip, which you have long dreamed of. But even the need for austerity should not jeopardize your family budget. The fact that the husband does not give money for the simple needs of the economy, says that you are badly managing the financial issues of the family. Besides the dream of a big expensive purchase, your husband should have an idea of how to make your life easier and not to burden the fragile shoulders with the whole family. Let you buy a coveted car a little later, but you do not have to pull the strap of all household expenses alone.
One will not be full of love ...
Some men are sure that they havehappiness is what is next to you. Why do you need money, if with a nice paradise and in a hut? He made you so happy, and you darken the romance of relations with the requirement of some money. Remember how a wonderful cartoon man told his woman: "If you want, I'll give you this star ...". And she, poor fellow, kept cleaning and cleaning the pots. So, this version of the relationship is still relevant for many women. Once caught in a bait, wives have to endure this attitude forever. Men for some reason are sure that meat and fruits grow right in the fridge, and bills for rent and phone are paid for themselves. The sooner you try to heal the spouse from infantilism, the better. Write to him on paper how much money you spend on food and utilities, ask for help. Suggest him to lead a joint family budget, for example - to put money in one place. If necessary, everyone will take the right amount, and you'll agree on big purchases.
Some husbands visit shops themselvesand pay all bills. They fill the refrigerator without any extra talk and make all the necessary expenses. But they do not give money to the wife. Absolutely. And they also forbid me to work. Unhappy women without any results begging for their crumbs for the necessary little things, and then, humiliated, they ask loans from friends and parents. What if the husband does not give money and forbids going to work? It's up to you. Most often this behavior indicates that the husband does not have a very high opinion of you. It takes away money to make it easier for you to control, and does not start up to work, so as not to give you self-confidence. Such people like resigned and unrequited mistresses, who do not need to be accountable and justified. He is the head of the house, and you should gladly accept the role of a powerless servant. Such a husband will not let you go to work for anything - suddenly you'll meet a two-meter handsome boy, richer and smarter than him? Then you end your dependence and leave for another. First of all, think about yourself in such a situation. No matter how much you did not love him, but in life everything can happen. Families break up, husbands change, relationships change - you do not want to ever stay with a broken trough? Be sure to go to work and become financially independent. Believe, having gained confidence, it will be easier for you to besiege your husband, who considers you to be nobody. It is possible that the spouse, seeing in you not a quiet and boring housekeeping, but a strong and confident woman, will start treating you differently.
Civil marriage is a cat in a poke?
If you live in a civil marriage, it is worththink how serious your relationship is. There is a saying: "Civil marriage, this is when a woman thinks that she is married, and a man that he is single." Sometimes a civil husband does not give money, if he considers you a temporary shelter, not worth special spending. Here, all efforts to establish a joint family budget or hints of expensive purchases will be for nothing. Such a man will either remain silent or categorically object to your arguments. Call him to frankness and ask about what he sees your relationship in the future. Inaudible mooing and avoiding conversation are a bad sign. If you feel that your chosen one is about to collect suitcases - throw it first. So you will avoid unnecessary humiliation and give yourself the opportunity to quickly find true love.
If the wife is a treasure, then only 25%
Some women make good money themselves,sometimes even more husbands. Of course, it's great - but it's not worth reporting to your husband! If only you are not a deputy, and your husband is not a watchman at the construction site, then the difference in your incomes can also be hidden. It is pleasant for any man to feel himself a breadwinner of a family, do not take away from him such an opportunity. If your husband sees that you always have a full purse, then part with your blood to him to anything. And it's useless to ask him for money for new boots or for food - he just thinks it's a mockery. Remain weak sex - it encourages men to new achievements for you and does not forget about the role of the main earner in the house.
The greed of many has ruined ...
The most unpleasant option is when your husband simplyvery greedy. If he convulsively recalculates every penny spent, if instead of new boots he offers to inform "pig iron skates", if to the dentist only goes to remove the teeth (pull out cheaper than treat). Then you just did not get lucky. Perhaps, his character was influenced by some events in childhood, and maybe greed is betrayed genetically. In any case, it is very difficult to influence such people. Remember, the old joke: - Dear, remember, you promised to give me the last, when it's a rainy day? So, it has come. - Of course, dear. I know how to keep my word. Here's your last patron. So in life. They save not only on food, but even on such important things as education and treatment. As you understand, life with such people is unbearable. Try to explain to him that he is surrounded not by enemies, but by close and loving people. That you require money not for the "tenth coat", but for essentials. It is far from superfluous to address this problem to a psychologist. And if even an expert did not help, then think about another husband: to live in eternal tension and without a penny of money - not the best lot. The main thing is not to drop your hands and not let the events of your life flow through the unchanging channel. In fact, most men are adequate enough to understand and accept your requirements. Be tactful, but persevering, offer a husband a compromise - and the desire to give you money will certainly appear. We advise you to read: