how to overcome jealousy What a whirlwind of emotions can often causea concrete action, but only an assumption about it! Often, there is not one hundred percent "evidence" that confirms the guilt of a loved one, and maybe there is no fault after him, but the pictures that draws our imagination seem to be many times more believable than what actually happens. How to overcome jealousy, which so much prevents you from living?

Types of jealousy

Psychologists say that jealousy always goes handhand in hand with self-doubt. She looks like a disgruntled rodent inside of you, which no matter how much, will still not be full. Every time something reminds you of a potential betrayal, you begin to experience your own inferiority: ugly, stupid, boring - and you never find any shortcomings in yourself every time in a fit of jealousy! This experience for different people manifests itself in its own way, and the difference here is in the strength and intensity of emotions.

  • Healthy jealousy How is it manifested? In order not to deceive yourself with thoughts that your man is an embodiment of purity and innocence and no extraneous skirt is interesting to him, but at the same time do not blame him. To admit that in life there can be situations when the beloved could not restrain himself and exceeded the "powers" with some kind of vertigo, in his own fantasies or in reality. It's easy to perceive if he is paying attention not to one of you, because we are not only looking at the "back" thought. Even evaluating, seeming obscene from the outside, may not have any sexual content.
  • Spring paranoia Has died - and at once indepression. So many girls around! In fur coats, that figure will not be considered, but now it's getting warmer - everyone pulled out mini-skirts from the dressing room and turns their hips in front of other people's guys. What will happen on the beach, even scary to imagine! In such cases it is necessary to remember that you are also a beautiful figure, only, noticing other girls, you began to forget about it. And in general, something that is pleasant to look at from afar or left a mark in memory with a glimpse is not always so ideally near, and with this one can live next to each day. But he chose you, that means he likes to be with you as much as he likes; but it is not known how quickly the other would have bothered him.
  • Congenital pathology Jealousy is your stylelife, sport, hobby, entertainment and the manner of communication together. You arrange hysterics without an excuse, shaking your nerves with your beloved, and thereby pushing him to search for a new, more balanced companion of life. Make plans that love will last forever, without noticing how you break it up every day with reproaches, scandals and bouts of jealousy. Men in fact, too, are not "iron", especially when they are regularly harassed by nerves.

how to overcome jealousy correctly

How to get rid of jealousy?

The process of getting rid of jealousy requires working outwill power. The usual self-hypnosis, which only dull vigilance, there is no way. Getting rid of jealousy is a long work on yourself, aimed at suppressing your whims.

  • Recognize that you are jealous This is the first step on the roadto the solution of the problem. Very often it may seem that you are jealous of the "case": I did not look there, did not say it, did not call, etc. ... Perhaps, it is true, but the very feeling of jealousy is yours and nobody else's. You can react differently to the actions and words of your boyfriend - you choose this method.
  • Stop! Do not scroll thoughts in your head, do not compose excess, do not climb into his phone. "It's easy to say," you think, "but it's hard to do." In fact, everything is not so terrible. Every time you are overwhelmed by a fit of jealousy, think: what do you want to find? After all, if nothing is found, then the search will only "feed" your inner rodent, and in the brain will arise more complex and sophisticated designs of possible deception. And if something is found, what will you do with it? If you have a clear answer to this question, then act, and if not, it is better not even to get into your man's personal space; because if he sees it, then you are in for a lot of trouble.
  • Discuss with your loved ones the objective reasons for yourjealousy We talk a lot about the source of jealousy is in the soul of the jealous. But what about truly objective situations, when it's simply impossible not to be jealous? In an adult way, that is, discuss them with a partner. This is the only way to get rid of problems in a relationship, when one meets one another, and together they overcome difficulties.
  • Listen to it. This is the first thing to do,if you suddenly had some suspicions. Sometimes jealousy so greatly distorts the consciousness that we cease to adequately perceive the surrounding reality. Most likely, nothing terrible has happened, and your boyfriend will be able to explain everything to you. Just do not force him to do it too often, otherwise he may get tired.
  • Be rationalistic When your guy is calm andclearly explains the situation to you, all you need to do is hear it. And do not drive from the corner to the corner of consciousness the thought that he is deceiving you and trying to get out. Yes, it is difficult, but necessary. In the end, think: why should a normal man live with one woman, have enchanting sex with her, full of tenderness and mutual understanding, and at the same time communicate with others? And if your guy just does what he says about polygamy and shows it, maybe it's time to think about why you stay with him?
  • Release steam elsewhere Sport and anyPhysical work will help cope with the psychological surge. Usually in the fuse we can tell the partner all sorts of nonsense, which, perhaps, we will later greatly regret. Try not to bring the situation to the point of absurdity and discuss problems only in a relatively calm psycho-emotional state.
  • Increase your self-esteem.for a while - where does your deep self-doubt come from? Perhaps, these are some old childhood complexes and psychotrauma. Try to look at yourself from the positive side. Do you have a lot of advantages - do not forget to remind yourself about them every day. You have a unique highlight - emphasize it. Show new talents, find an interesting lesson, realize in work - all these things will help you feel worthy, less emotionally dependent on your partner and, as a result, stop jealous.
  • Silence - gold Significant silencemuch faster will let him realize his mistake than scream. Yes, and in conversation, to keep silent is sometimes very useful, if you were going to say something stupid, thereby wounding a partner. Silence is the only option for partners, when you can take a breath during the conversation and pull yourself together - that's why it's so useful to resort to it, especially in conversations about such an emotional issue as jealousy.
  • The existential side of the question. Remember thatfor the sake of a true feeling, which is the meaning of the life of any person, it is easier to forgive a loved one than to escape to an unloved person who has not yet changed you. You have lived together very much, in your relationship was a lot of wonderful moments - so why stop it in one fell swoop?
  • Of course, jealousy can take place, because no onenot perfect, and its reasonable amount is able to revive the relationship. But it is necessary to learn how to maintain the right balance. Find it by keeping the level of confidence in your pair. Love yourself and your partner, and jealousy will never ruin your relationship! We advise you to read: