Noisy wedding celebration, flying honeymonth, passed the euphoria of the first period of marriage and ... It turned out that the person you married for is not so much in love with you. You no longer yearn for his absence, do not admire his every word and deed, do not mourn with happiness when he touches you. And every day more and more with horror realize that you do not love your spouse and do not know how to live with an unloved husband next. Sadly, such situations are quite common. They are especially common in marriages that have existed for several years. Many women who live in such marriages have a hard time answering the question of whether they love their husbands. Yes, there is a habit, there is, perhaps, respect, some kind of affection. But love, alas, no longer exists. Most of the wives are completely content with this situation. Like, what kind of love can there be, if there is a common home, common children, common goals, finally! And they just rubbed themselves on each other, got used to it, got used to it. But there are also wives suffering next to the unloved man, but at the same time they are not daring to somehow change their lives. Are they right? Well, let's try to find the answer to this difficult question.
Is it worth it to live with an unloved husband?
Yes, unfortunately, it also happens that after livingsome time in marriage, a woman suddenly realizes that next to her is a stranger and an unloved person. Why is this happening? Who knows? Sometimes the reason for the disappearance of love is a series of disappointments, sometimes caused by the husband's resentment, and sometimes just an unaccountable loss of interest in his half. But the fact remains, the love is gone. And it's good if a woman takes this fact with the inherent weak natural wisdom. Then she will be ready for him and try to keep the peace in the family and friendly attitude to her husband. However, not everyone has enough energy for such an act. Someone from the women breaks the marriage bonds, and someone continues to live with the unloved person, tormented and sobbing secretly into the pillow at night. Resolutely parted with unloved husbands usually women are self-sufficient, self-confident. They prefer to stay alone, but do not live with someone who, with the exception of dislike, does not cause anything. Women are weak, vulnerable, sometimes even very deeply afflicted, do not want to take risks. Let the unloved, hateful, but still husband, a man who is always there. They are simply afraid of not being able to create a fairly strong new relationship with a man. Who of them is right? Each of these wives has the rightness. Obviously, one should make a decision about the final break with the husband only when the need arises. If we believe that we have no other option than divorce, it will be reasonable to enlist the support of relatives, relatives or friends. After all, their help to a single woman can be needed at any time. Otherwise, it may happen that the support will have to contact the ex-spouse, which is undesirable. Firstly, because she "died, so died", and he should have thought of a new family. It will be difficult to create it, if the old wife starts to end the man without end. Well, and secondly, also from the fact that the ex-husband can begin to hope that he will still come back. Why, then, mislead him and make him wait for something that will never happen again? A woman who decided to break with her unloved husband will have to ensure that her self-esteem does not fall. Unfortunately, in our not yet so perfect society, the status of a divorced woman is still below the status of a married wife. A divorced woman is perceived by many as either a dissolute person or as a loser, unable to save her family. This is especially true for small towns, where many know each other. In the case of divorce in this case, usually no one is going to deal with. A woman is simply condemned, that's all. And this condemnation, of course, presses on the psyche of the "divorcee", forcing it to shrink under the sights of the people. However, the way out of this situation is not so complicated. A woman simply needs to firmly understand that she does not live to please others. Therefore, it's not worth to get upset about what neighbors or co-workers say about it. Our life belongs only to us, and it is up to us to decide how to act in this or that case. Well, if a divorce is extremely undesirable for some reason? How to be then? Let's think about what an optimal variant of such a marriage can be with the unloved husband.
How to start life anew with an unloved husband?
Many women who do not love their husbands,continue to live in marriage because of joint children. It's understandable - my own father is better than someone else's uncle, and his children love him. And the attitude of mom to dad to touch them in no way should. I must say that this situation is quite common and it is quite heavy. After all, a woman, in this case, sacrifices her own happiness for the sake of the well-being of children. This is the main difficulty. Mom and Dad, of course, are equally dear to the child. And divorce is usually a very deep psychological trauma for him. However, if there are constant scandals between parents in the house, they inflict equally strong blows on the child's psyche. And to hide the father and mother from the child's own relationships is not easy. In addition, often, the wife is subconsciously blamed for her children for her unsuccessful family life. And children are creatures, very sensitive to the inner world of their parents. Feelings of guilt in them will certainly live and can remain for life. All this must be considered a woman, if she intends to keep a marriage with her unloved husband. Scandals in the family must be reduced to a minimum, otherwise the house will reign hell, which will spoil the child's childhood. And maybe all my life. If you do without eternal quarrels is not possible, I think it's better to decide on a break. In the end, divorce does not mean an end to the relationship of the children with their father. In addition, it often happens that the father after the divorce begins to reach out to children more than when living with them in the same family. Therefore, if you live in marriage with an unloved husband really too unbearable, you should not save the family just for the sake of children. It will not lead to anything good. Well, but when it is possible to put up with the presence of an unmarried husband next to you, it's worth considering - is he really not loved? If the answer is unambiguous, it is probably better not to hide anything and talk to your spouse cleanly (if the conversation is not connected with the risk of a grand scandal). This will help to avoid in the future many provoking quarrelsome situations. No matter how fervently his wife loves her husband, sooner or later he will resign himself to the fact that she does not reciprocate with him. Ultimately, such marriages are common. Sometimes the woman thinks that she does not love her husband, but she pities him. Here the situation is ambiguous. After all, sometimes it only seems to us that love has passed, and we are next to a person only out of a feeling of pity. Love can take on different forms and express itself even as hatred. Therefore, if we do not seem to like our spouse, but we regret it, we should think - maybe this is one of the forms of love? And imagine life without this person. Will she not cause her heartache? If it does, everything is not so bad. Then the question of how to start living anew with a disliked husband is not worth it. Just a habit and a routine routine blunted the senses, and it is possible to revive them by making efforts. Also it is necessary, simply because with feelings it will be easier to live. It also happens that a woman, like, wants to break up with her husband, but at the same time fears responsibility that will fall on her shoulders after the divorce. Such indecisiveness, in fact, is an indication that feelings for the husband have not yet passed, and the wife needs his care and participation. In this case, she just needs to properly understand herself and realize that next to this person she is actually good. And without it it will be bad. After all, often we do not understand very well what our true happiness is, and we start chasing a chimera. And then we regret the lost paradise, finally realizing that the former spouse was exactly who we need. But he already has another family, and something can not be changed. In a word, to live or not with an unloved husband, the question is ambiguous. And every woman should solve it independently. If next - completely alien, not causing any positive emotions, a person, perhaps, it is better to part with it. Why torture him and yourself? Each of us is worthy of love and happiness, and you can not sacrifice them. Well, if positive emotions are still present ... Then, perhaps, it is necessary to save the family? We advise you to read: