Today, in the century of developed informationtechnologies, popularization of social networks and virtual communication, it is often necessary to face the inability of people to communicate with each other in real life. Not everyone is able to support any conversation, become an interesting and worthy interlocutor, some it is very hard to give. But not everything is so hopeless. It turns out that this can be learned. So, how to learn how to communicate with people? Communication can be called successful if a common language with the interlocutor is found. Difficulties in communication can arise absolutely for everyone, and the education received here, the wealth of the inner world, the sense of humor, the reading, etc., do not play a role. This is rather a psychological barrier. What is needed for communication to be interesting and entertaining? How to cause the companion irresistible desire to continue it? In general, how to become a person with whom it will be interesting to communicate?
How to generate interest from the interlocutor
Every person is different. All of us are endowed with some, only inherent to us, qualities. All have their own goals, views on life, principles and priorities. Absolutely normal is the desire of everyone to feel their own importance in society. This desire is the main key to success and success in communication. In order for communication to be called successful, it is enough to show indifference to what your interlocutor says. Ability to support conversation, to be interested in thoughts and opinion of the interlocutor, ability to listen attentively, to be sincere and benevolent in conversation, perhaps, this is what will help to learn to communicate with people. It's not for nothing that the ability to listen and hear the interlocutor is valued much higher than the ability to speak. The ability to listen is not given to everyone, but to hear - even fewer people. This does not mean that when meeting you need to pounce on your companion, as an old friend. Not everyone will like this, and even can scare. In your judgments, be very careful, they should not be categorically indisputable. Leave the last word better for the other person than for yourself. If you want to make a pleasant impression on the interlocutor, give in to him in a dispute: and the relationship will not deteriorate, and you will remain in your opinion. In no case in a conversation do not show arrogance. Speaking, weigh every word. you must understand that haughty tone, the desire to raise yourself above the opponent can very insult him, and then the opinion of you will not be the best, and it is unlikely that he will have the desire to communicate with you again. Try to never stay away, stay close to people. It will be much more pleasant for each person to communicate with someone who is on the same wavelength with him, so it is not the best decision to be hammered into a corner.
What you should pay attention to
If possible, avoid conversations containingin itself complaints to the heads, colleagues on work, work as a whole or the destiny. Remember, everyone has problems without you, so nobody will want to listen to strangers. People communicate for the sake of pleasure. An important psychological moment in the conversation is the position in which you and your interlocutor are. It is proved that taking the posture of your interlocutor, you thereby open it for communication, create comfortable conditions for it. In conversation, try to always remain yourself. The unnaturalness in communication, the desire to show oneself as a completely different person from the outside may look very ridiculous and ridiculous, although it may seem to you that you have perfectly merged into this image. In any case, playing for a long time does not work, and sooner or later people will know what you really are. So why let the dust in your eyes, deceive your interlocutor already at the initial stages of communication. Naturalness and ease are the basic rules of behavior in communication. Often an obstacle to normal communication is a certain complex of man. It is always worth remembering that all people are far from ideal. Each has its own pluses and minuses, advantages and disadvantages, nevertheless, it does not prevent them from perfectly communicating and being the soul of the company. If you yourself, communicating, feel well and confident, others will notice and appreciate it. It is very important to look into your interlocutor's eyes while you are talking. A person who will turn his eyes away from the conversation, is unlikely to inspire confidence in the opponent. Thus, you either show how uninteresting is what the interlocutor says, or how dishonest you are. It seems to be nothing special, but still it is a very important moment in communication, able to arrange to talk or vice versa. If a person is little known to you, after learning his name, try to repeat it during a conversation, referring to a name. This will be a very polite sign on your part. Probably everyone found themselves in a situation where there is not a very pleasant pause between the conversation. To avoid such an embarrassing moment in communication, it is worth forgetting about short answers like "yes" and "no." Answer as much as possible on the opponent's question and also ask questions that will require a more detailed answer. Thus, your conversation will go by itself. But do not overdo it here. Communication should not turn into an attack with questions. The interlocutor should feel comfortable, and not as if he is under interrogation and simply forced to respond.
A few more tips
Of course, the more knowledge you have,the more you will be able to interest a person. Versatile interests can not fail to attract your interlocutor. It is always interesting to talk with someone who can tell stories, tell about some entertaining facts, etc. Learn to correctly express your thoughts and ideas, adapt them to someone else's perception. Remember that not everyone at the time of the story comes up with exactly the same image as yours. To do this, try to convey to the interlocutor the image that you have, more clearly provide information, explain everything that is necessary. Do not hurry to answer the questions right away. A sustained pause will help you not only gather your thoughts, think over the answer, but also show interest and mystery from the person with whom the conversation is being conducted. Excessive gesticulation in communication can encourage the interlocutor to think about your self-doubt. Extraneous movements of hands can very much distract from the essence of the conversation, while the importance of your words no one will appreciate, they just do not pay attention. Eliminate the use of words and phrases with ambiguous overtones. Your words can be regarded as wrong, and even capable of offending the interlocutor. Speak clearly what you mean. Not everyone can adapt to his interlocutor. This is a very important moment in communication. Observe the opponent, at the pace of his speech, try to repeat it to the maximum. Communication in one manner will turn your conversation into a constructive conversation. Using words-parasites will not make your conversation more beautiful. If possible, limit their use. It is unlikely to be pleasant for a person to listen to unnecessary and meaningless words. As a result, it turns out that you do not talk much on the case, the conversation will become tedious and uninteresting. By the way, even in a business conversation it is sometimes appropriate to demonstrate your sense of humor. If it is applied in a timely manner, then it is possible to defuse the tense situation, make communication easy. In communication, consider the age of your interlocutor. Let's say a conversation takes place with a person who is much older than you. Here, accordingly, it is necessary to avoid slang expressions, which may not be familiar to the interlocutor at all.
Let's sum up the results
Of course, the main teacher is an experience thatdoes not come immediately. To get it you need time and appropriate conditions. The main thing is to be as self-confident as possible, to be able to "carry" yourself, to put in society. Expand your circle of communication, including absolutely different people: by age, and by views, and by life positions. Any communication begins with a small one. Thanks to some skills in communication, you will be able to become authoritative in your circles a person to whom everyone will listen with interest. It is not for nothing that it is said that love for oneself gives birth to the love of others around you. Only when you yourself begin to respect yourself, so will others do to you. The ability to communicate will lead you to success. Communicative skills are simply necessary in everyday life. Never be afraid to leave the shadow, start communication first. Be polite and benevolent, and then you will be able to win sympathy from the interlocutor. Good luck and success.