Probably, each of us faced with a situation,when the feeling of loneliness crushes and overwhelms the soul, when you need advice or just want to speak out to a loved one who could support in a difficult moment, but it is impossible to do it, because there is not a best friend nearby. And here we understand that it is not for nothing that people say: the misfortune, shared with someone, is already half the trouble. It turns out that the first step to solving any problem is to talk about it aloud with a faithful and sincere friend who will not gloat over his back, but will prompt an exit or simply chide with you. Our life is so fast that sometimes we do not think of such a concept as real friendship. And in vain, because only a faithful friend will help in trouble and share joy, correctly assess the situation, will not blame the soul and always tell the truth, no matter how unsightly it may be. And the truth from the mouth of a trusted person turns out to be more important than a sweet lie, just an understanding of this comes later. Loneliness in a crowded room - school, office, city, country, amidst the noise and voices of raging life - an unpleasant feeling, known by many. Suddenly, an absolutely successful mature person can grab by the tail an elusive idea of an inner emptiness. And when there is a house with a table, food on it, a third car and even a second wife, a real human friendship can still be missing - a light feeling, a special form of love, less prone to passion than love itself, but from that purer and lighter . Or an understanding interlocutor, a kindred soul, an adherent of your interests and desires, no matter what sex.
Best age for friendship
From the need to be friends with someone with easewill brush it off, but without this one can not feel the fullness of life. You can read the multivolume works, but you can not unravel the most important secret about how to make friends. Good for the kids in the sandbox - he gave his neighbor a play with a shovel, and instantly got a friend. Kids are very spontaneous, so they always have a lot of friends. But childhood ends, and it comes to the understanding that it's not about just sharing a toy or anything else - everything is much more complicated. Psychologists, who like to dissect the human soul, have repeatedly carried out research. They argue that long-term friendship is most often born in high school, and not in the sandbox or in old age on the bench, although there are exceptions. Of course, throughout life we are surrounded by a huge number of people with whom we often have a friendly relationship, lasting for years or being cut off just as quickly as they appeared. But all this is not the friendship that each of us secretly dreams of. Sincere feelings are rooted in adolescence, because this is exactly the period when there is an awareness of the world and there is a great desire to say to myself: "I'm not alone!". In addition, at such a turbulent age, there are many very important events that can connect comrades with common memories. In his youth, he already has the ability to think soberly, to be responsible for actions, and an irresistible desire to find a like-minded person who can be trusted in secrets without fear of being misinterpreted or misunderstood. However, there is always the opportunity to have strong friendships. Paraphrasing the poet - friendship of all ages are submissive. And wise people say that the success will come from those who started with themselves. Only he who knows how to be a good friend can count on a reward in the form of sincere and strong friendship with other people.
Where do you begin to escape from loneliness?
A man who has set out to make friends,strongly recommend to look at yourself in the mirror. Of course, we are not talking about looking closely at our reflection in it. And the mirror has nothing to do with it, because you need to look much deeper into your own soul. You will have to answer sincerely with just one simple question: "Do I want a friend like myself?". An honest answer will save a lot of time, energy and nerves spent on climbing to the planned summit. An unshakable rule - about a meeting on clothes - still works. Good nature, talents and a multi-faceted personality will necessarily open to the world in all its radiance. But after. And first you have to, if, of course, there is a need, correct appearance, manners and speech - a pledge of positive impression from the first acquaintance with a new person. "How to make new friends?" Is the next question that you will ask your inner self. Perhaps the former circle of close friends in time has thinned out: someone left, someone had broken communication for a long time. But the need for sincere and kind feelings remained, so it's time to expand our acquaintances in the hope of finding a soul mate. Therefore, try to determine the purpose for which you are trying to make new friendships. Looking for a friend to go shopping together? Or do you prefer other cultural events, impressions you want to share with like-minded people? Or maybe you are looking for a confidante for spiritual conversations? Take a closer look at your colleagues. Firstly, the existing service relations are always much easier to translate into a more personal sphere, and secondly, with colleagues there is already something to discuss, and during the conversation there may be new points of contact. In any case, you have to learn how to communicate and become a cheerful person, if before this time too much space has been given to despondency in your life. It's time to realize that the world around us is not at all hostile and ready to accept everyone who comes into it with a positive attitude. Sociability and cheerful disposition are virtues-sisters, occupying an honorary second step in the hit parade of values that help in the conquests of human souls. Agree that the optimistic Winnie-the-Pooh chances to find a better friend is much more than a depressed donkey. Mood - quality is contagious. So it's better to charge others with your own positive energy, and do not look for those who want to complain together with you to the unsightly realities of modern life. Perhaps, we will have to reconsider our beliefs about a half-empty glass and say to ourselves: "Hey, stop moping! Life is too short to waste it on empty whining! "A sense of humor is more valuable than banknotes, and a smile can melt an iceberg. Watch the expression on your face, because on this basis others judge you. Be fun, but without kinks, of course. Much is said about the fact that the foundation of friendship is respect. And these are not at all empty words, if we are talking about real relations, and not about their pale likeness. We will have to pay attention to the interests of those who are around. And learn to self-respect, if for now this quality you do not know. Do not be friends with someone who stubbornly rejects the outstretched hand or, worse, does not respect you or tramples on others. First, there is nothing to impose, and secondly, close people should be chosen, and not take in their ranks all in a row, endlessly disappointed in their best feelings. Friendship can start in different ways, but in practice this phenomenon often begins with a shoulder that was substituted on time, because even a simple service can have the same effect as rescuing from the clutches of an angry leopard. Do not go past someone who is difficult, and, perhaps very soon you will find in his face a loved one who will answer you in return. It is likely that it will not be possible to do without expanding its own interests. Are you going to have a girlfriend? And have already decided, where exactly will you go, will you go, what will surprise and delight the new friend? An unintentional idle expectation that someone will assume responsibility for your well-being is doomed. Friendship is impossible without partnership.
Rules of conduct for beginners
Lack of a large number of friends for many peopleis often the result of fear of being in the company of strangers. We are embarrassed to look ridiculous, stand alone among the cheerful multicolored crowd with only one thought: "I want to go home!". And why not just try to become one of your own? So, if you want to change something in your life in a positive way, then try to take advantage of some of the tips and psychological techniques that are given below. They are quite simple and therefore suitable for all people, without exception, who want to find friends in their old age to get rid of the approaching loneliness.
The main thing to remember is that making friends is much easierthose who do not hesitate. Confidence is generally a golden quality, capable of inducing deeds. No one will believe in someone who is not his own friend. If you have problems with this aspect of personal qualities, you can and even need to work on yourself. After all, he who says many times: "I know what I want from life, believe in my own strength and therefore necessarily achieve what I want", in the end it will really convince itself of this and become interesting for others. Friendship is necessary to us as air, and it is not necessary to listen to those who assert the opposite. Believe me, they are deceiving themselves! We advise you to read: