It is believed that in the life of each of us comessuch a time as the crisis of middle age. Some people even prefer to "bring down" on him everything that does not suit them in life. Problems at work? This is a crisis of middle age. With the wife of sex was not already six months? Same. So what is this - a real phenomenon or fiction, which is accepted to justify the desire for cardinal changes in life? And what if he did? The answers to these and other questions you will learn from our article. 
Myth or reality?
When the term "middle income crisis" first appearedage "? This is a very, very interesting story. You've probably heard about the outstanding psychoanalysts of Sigmund Freud and Carl Gustav Jung. Freud for a long time was the teacher and patron of Jung, but when Carl Gustav began to develop his own view of the human psyche, there was a quarrel between them. Jung had a hard time experiencing his "parting" with Freud, and he described these feelings in his works, suggesting that through this crisis all people on the Earth pass. His ideas were picked up by psychologists around the world who began to explore this phenomenon. But there are still disputes about whether the midlife crisis is a reality, or it was simply Jung's personal personal reaction. Karl Gustav argued that the first half of his life a person is engaged in external achievements: to make a career, create a family, have a baby or buy a house. But somewhere in the thirty-forty years he turns to his inner life and realizes that in fact he is deeply dissatisfied with everything that is happening. It turns out that a person promises something to himself, strives to achieve all his goals, but as a result understands that this is not happiness. And he has nothing else. In youth, it seems that success is the guarantor of life satisfaction, but by the age of forty the "held" person thinks that if he has achieved everything, what awaits him further? It turns out that only a fall down. What can I say about less successful peers. It is common for a person to dream a lot and build grandiose life plans. However, when in the middle of life he turns back, it turns out that he did not reach the half conceived. In our youth, we get used to living the future, when it seems that our dreams will necessarily be fulfilled, just a little later. And in forty years you understand that this "later" will not be. The causes of the crisis of middle age also lie in the physiology of the human body. Simply put, we all grow old. Our bodies wear out, and we face a number of unpleasant discoveries concerning our health. Men are balding, libido is reduced, and dyspnoea and suddenly grown beer belly can drive any representative of the strong half of humanity depressed. Women have wrinkles, gray hair, the skin loses its elasticity, and some already know the "charms" of premenopausal changes by the middle of life. Naturally, there is little to enjoy in this, and willy-nilly you think about the fact that life is changing, and far from the best. Another important parameter of the crisis is a change in the social role. Up to a certain limit, we can allow ourselves to fool around, do foolish things, shift responsibility for unpleasant events from our shoulders to others - in general, be a child. However, sooner or later the moment comes when you understand: in the family I am a mother, at work - a valuable specialist and mentor for young people, and in life - an adult and serious woman. For someone, this awareness becomes a shock. It is especially difficult for those who lose their parents during this period - this increases the need for cardinal changes, and you understand that in life you can rely only on your own strengths. Not every person turns out to be morally ready for this. The situation in the family can also be an impetus for the development of the midlife crisis. Children grow up, enter a transitional age, and this, too, causes a lot of suffering. In addition, one morning you wake up, look at your spouse and you realize that this is not the person you married. It's the same with your husband. For the family, this period becomes a kind of test of strength, and someone does not withstand such pressure. 
Symptoms of the crisis of middle age
Psychologists who study this phenomenon facea lot of difficulties connected with the fact that in all of them it proceeds quite differently. Accordingly, make a list of possible symptoms is very difficult. We approached this issue creatively and tried to group and offer you only the most vivid and colorful manifestations of the crisis, which will help you to accurately determine its offensive.
- Vague experiences of anxiety, points, sadness, the cause of which is not clear to you;
- Discontent with yourself, your way of life and the achievements that you have to date;
- Feeling of inner disorder, lack of one's place in life;
- The desire to radically change anything. That's why men buy sports cars and have young lovers, and women are enrolled in pilates and florist courses. A person experiencing a crisis, it seems that all the problems are in the external circumstances, which he is trying to change.
- An increase in the number of conflicts with relatives and friends. With more distant acquaintances a person, as a rule, keeps well done, but family members often "get".
- Change of world view. A person thinks about what is the meaning of life and what was important was personally with him. Many people try to somehow measure their achievements and sum up the subtotals.
- With the previous symptom, the following is connected -decreased self-esteem. People passing through the crisis often describe themselves as "unsuccessful," "lost," "embarrassed," "unrealized," "hopeless." Some women in this regard are trying to go head to head with a career (or, conversely, start a family - that is, do something that they previously did not dare).
- Not passing depression and apathy. Some people experience the crisis is especially difficult, and they are faced with the loss of desires and aspirations. As a rule, this symptom is noted in those who before the crisis suffered from personal problems.
Man and woman: what's the difference?
Above we described some general ideas about how,what is the midlife crisis. But we must not forget that men and women in different ways experience it, respectively, and they have to fight it differently. An interesting fact: men are more likely to suffer from a mid-life crisis than women. This is due to the fact that in their lives the role of external achievements is incomparably greater than in women. They are instructed to build a house, raise a tree, raise a son, and in parallel earn a million dollars, buy a mink fur coat for a wife and do not forget to regularly travel with his family. It's not surprising that somewhere in the forty years the man is ripe with a perfectly legitimate question: where am I in this race? There comes the experience of a radical change in life, when a man realizes that in fact he always lived for others and tried to meet some external norms. There is a feeling that the lived part is much larger than the one that remained. After that, the man begins to look for "acute" sensations. It is at this moment that the risk of divorce increases, because it seems to him that the wife does not understand him at all, and indeed, it's all her fault! This includes a sharp change of hobbies, social circle, taste - in the life of a man everything turns upside down. And in this case, the wise behavior of his second half will be very welcome. In women, the middle-aged crisis begins at about thirty-five to forty years, but it proceeds in a different way. As a rule, female experiences are based on several "whales". First, it's appearance. Thirty-five years is the age when you have to buy a cream marked "for mature skin." And such a pressure awaits the woman everywhere: if she wears a short skirt, goes to a nightclub and dances all night or decides to jump on a trampoline, shame is inevitable, because it is believed that an adult lady does not face such manifestations. Indeed, the flaws in appearance appear more and more, the skin loses its elasticity, and the figure - the former outlines. Of course, this is not always the case, but certain age changes are coming, and it is very difficult for us to reconcile ourselves to this in a world dominated by the cult of beauty and eternal youth. On the other hand, many women who married early and switched their attention to the home, with age, understand that they really did not achieve anything. Children grow up, the husband works, and the family no longer meets the needs of women for self-fulfillment. Immediately there is a temptation to blame the entire household, and some of the ladies simply "blow the roof off". They start with a dozen new hobbies and try at least somehow to make a career. Family members are very frightened, which the woman, in turn, perceives as a misunderstanding and a negative attitude towards its development. Naturally, this situation does not improve at all. So, it is obvious that the crisis is not easy for representatives of both sexes to experience. The reasons can be different, but the essence is one: a person suffers from his own "badness" and insolvency and tries to change something. But how productive are these actions? 
How to survive the crisis of middle age?
Many people have a desire to fight the crisiswith the help of various eccentric tricks and devaluation of everything that is now. But this output is illusory, because a person is still trying to change something from the outside then, how to survive all inside. Another often encountered option is to fall into a depression, it is impossible to get out of it. Of course, you can again write off everything on your morbid condition: "Lose all, I have a crisis!". But it is worth remembering that events occurring in a person's life are a consequence of his own choice. If you want, you can always fight, and if not, then, of course, it is much easier to whine and fall into depression. In the top 10 most unsuccessful men's options, how to overcome the crisis of middle age, also includes increased craving for alcohol, increased demonstration of their masculinity with or without, divorce and young mistresses, as well as rapid "rejuvenation" (youth clothing, get-togethers from night to morning, a mouse tail from the remains of hair, etc. ... - all this is good, when a person is really young at heart, and not strained by something of himself portrays). Women act like they are getting divorced and giving birth to young lovers, doing plastic surgeries, ripping off anger on younger colleagues, which is also not an effective way to get out of the crisis. But, oddly enough, there are other options. Naturally, there is no universal answer to the question of how to overcome the crisis of middle age. However, the fact that you will do something in this direction and deal with depression, already significantly increases the probability of success. Our advice will suit both men and women, because after all, the desire to live happily is present in both of them.
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