About the crisis of middle age men have heard everything. But, as it became known, women are also prone to this psychological illness. Moreover, the middle age crisis among women was noticed long ago. Just before the advent of the era of feminism, it was not customary to talk about this. Not fashionable, if you want. And all because women were more dependent on men, family, public opinion. So they suffered in silence. By the way, the crisis of our grandmothers came a little earlier than now. All the blame of the cotton dress from the department store is shapeless shoes, chemized hair and unavailability of cosmetology. Gather all these concepts in a heap, and you will understand what we are talking about. Or look at the pictures of those years: the textile industry, it would seem, did everything possible and impossible to hide the femininity of the forms of Soviet women. Of course, there were exceptions. But if we compare an ordinary woman after forty at that time and our contemporary, the difference will be obvious. It is also good that the party helped to keep the collapsing marriages (and the male crises existed even under the Soviet Union). Why put yourself in order, if you can just complain to the higher authorities? And they will certainly return the lost husband to the bosom of the family. Today, the beautiful sex is more independent, self-confident. But still not immune from frustration and psychological problems. So, the middle age crisis usually comes in the period from thirty-five to five years. Note that in women this period comes five years earlier than for men, since youth, according to the general statement, ends earlier. If a forty-year-old man has all the chances of having a family after a divorce, then his one-year-old man is having a hard time. Moreover, the crisis itself begins precisely in the subconscious of a woman. In the understanding that she is getting old. Externally, a woman can remain very attractive, but television shows, glossy magazines will be shown to her by the young faces of sixteen-year-old girls who are still ahead. But we will not be distracted. It is better to talk about the signs of a mid-life crisis in women. But we will not simply describe them, but we will offer options for an exit from the current situation.
"I have aged ..."
It is noted that the first symptoms of a crisis in the middleage in women are manifested with obvious signs of aging of the body. At a time when the state of the soul does not match the appearance. The woman is still feeling young, capable of desperate deeds, crazy feelings, and the mirror indifferently shows early wrinkles, padded waist and cellulite on the hips. Many people bitterly say: "I do not recognize myself in the mirror! Who is this terrible monster? Anyone, but not me. " However, day after day the reflection changes only for the worse. And you need to accept this. Solution: It all depends on how much the woman has changed in the last fifteen years. And who exactly is next to her. With an attentive and sympathetic husband, it is enough for her to change her hair, update the wardrobe and enroll in the pool. If the second half aggravates the suffering of the wife, the woman decides to take extreme measures: beginning with the young lover and ending with the scalpel of the plastic surgeon. An actively growing young woman is not as common as a young man. For some reason, the short haircut and tight jeans society forgives men more willingly than women. But in vain. It's wonderful to look younger than you are. Just do not do this sole purpose, for the achievement of which all means are good. And then you can skip a number of very important points in your life, for example, growing up children or respecting yourself at any age.
Children grew up
Such a crisis is very common among women inmarriage, when the children have already grown up, and mutual understanding with her husband was irretrievably lost in diaper, raspashonok, kindergarten, school and drawing circles. Sometimes a woman becomes so involved with children that she completely forgets that a son or daughter will lead her family sooner or later, and she will remain alone with her husband. With that, with which for a long time did not talk heart to heart. As a result, children grow up, and the mother feels lonely and believes that life is not lived at all as we would like. And even attempts to get close to her husband show that next to her is not the person for whom she once married. The person has changed, and those interests that once brought the couple together are now irrelevant. Solution: Some women in this case are beginning to pursue a career. But most often - give birth to a child. In this way they not only fill the spiritual emptiness, but also prolong, in their opinion, their own youth. In general, this problem refers to the category of those that are easier to prevent than to solve. In extreme cases, the family psychologist can very much facilitate the rapprochement.
Choosing a career instead of children
Women who have been busy all their livesbuilding a successful career, also suffer from a mid-life crisis. They begin to understand that in the pursuit of success missed the quiet moments of family happiness and the joy of motherhood. Iron ladies begin to stare at infants in wheelchairs. The maternal instinct begins to play in them. And this is probably the easiest form of middle age crisis in women. Solution: Women either hastily find a husband to create a full-fledged family and have a baby, or give birth to themselves and finally fulfill the most important function entrusted to them by nature. I must admit that such women eventually become good mothers. They are used to many years of building a business to great responsibility, and to bring up a child are no less serious.
Change of world view
Often a middle-aged crisis is associated withreassessment of life. It seems that all is well. The husband does not drink, does not smoke. Children learn, work and have not turned into alcoholics and criminals. In the family prosperity. The work is stable, from nine in the morning until five in the evening. On weekends there is a summer residence. In the summer - trips to the sea. But something is still not the case. A woman suddenly wakes up a little maximalist - her reflection of herself at the age of seventeen. When it seemed that the whole world is at your feet. And if married, then only for the prince. And live exclusively in the castle on the beach. And children are solid geniuses. And in the end it turns out that the prince has a habit of walking around the house in his underpants, has a belly and never lowers the toilet seat. The magnificent castle, ironically, turned into a standard Khrushchev, where in the spring and autumn ceilings are leaking (the last floor after all), and the children ... .. what are the children? Ordinary children turned out. Not Surikov, not Einstein, not Abramovich. They live on a scholarship, collect money for a smartphone, quarrel with their parents. All as at all. Solution: Through this stage all mature individuals inevitably pass. It is impossible to live half the life and not to sum up the subtotals. First, so you can really evaluate what was done, and, secondly, understand where to move next. Well, the maximalist will have to be reassured. Most likely, if you really wanted to live in a palace with a prince, you would have already lived there, only now would you be happier?
The most difficult manifestation of the crisis in the middlethe age of a woman can be called the one at which she absolutely does not want anything. She is not interested in personal relationships, children, or career. One fine day, a woman begins to believe that her life is gone along with her youth, and she begins to go with the flow doomed. There is no clear cause of the crisis here. It is hidden somewhere in the depths of the subconscious, which causes even more discomfort. Usually, this is the course of a mid-life crisis in women who are secretive and taciturn, who believe that the best friend is a pillow, and do not have people who are close in spirit. They have no one to cry at their fate. So they suffer in silence. Solution: In such cases, it is very difficult to help a woman. Moreover, the family, as a rule, perceives the symptoms of the disease as nonsense, which further exacerbates the problem. And it's not about the callousness of relatives. Remember the woman's credo: no loved ones. Therefore, she developed a cool relationship with her family. If the husband and wife are of the same age, then the midlife crisis coincides with that of men, and the couple has every chance of breaking up. While the wife looks doomed at the ceiling, her husband begins to strenuously rejuvenate. He buys himself a fancy motorcycle, and in the end, realizes that he does not want to see a plump woman with a dull look next to him. Oddly enough, divorce allows a woman to shake things up and move on with her life. However, we would advise not to solve the problem so drastically and not to wait until the collapse of the family contributes to the end of the crisis in the woman. The best thing is to consult a psychologist or psychotherapist in time. Finally, I would like to say to all women who recognized themselves in this article: be strong. You have experienced childbirth, long periods of feeding, diapers and night sleep deprivation (all mothers will understand us now, because what they consider to be a woman's duty is sometimes very difficult to survive). You have coped with family problems and minor life troubles. So won't you overcome some kind of midlife crisis? After all, according to Katya from the film "Moscow Does Not Believe in Tears," after forty, life is just beginning. So let's start it off with a smile! We advise you to read: