Human relationships are a very complicated thing. Until recently, between a guy and a girl (or between husband and wife) there was love and mutual understanding - and suddenly, it would seem, for no apparent reason, quarrels and arguments over trifles began. As a result, each meeting turned into a series of conflicts that arise literally from scratch. What is it? End of love? What to do? Let's not rush to put a full stop. This is just the first crisis in the relationship.
Causes of the crisis
When a guy and a girl in love beginto meet, they, of course, expect that their meetings will always have a positive emotional coloring. And that the relationship will evolve easily, without tension and omissions. Well, how else? After all, they understand each other so well, so they can always find a common language and overcome all obstacles! However, sometimes there is very little time, and complete mutual understanding disappears, discontent with actions or words of each other, and irritation arising from every detail. The result - endless quarrels, often leading to a complete break. There is nothing surprising in this. And this gap between a man and a woman is often mistaken. Because the crisis of the first year of relations is experienced by almost everyone, even very loving couples (only not always they know what to do now). Why is this happening? Because with any communication that occurs for a fairly long time, sooner or later there are disagreements. Normal relations without quarrels and conflicts do not happen. Even if a guy and a girl love each other very much, they remain two independent personalities with their own individual traits of character, their own aspirations and views of the world. And the reasons for the crisis of the first year of relations are precisely these differences, which in the heat of the original passion we often forget. And often because of their inexperience, we simply do not take them into account, which we can not do, in general. "How?" - someone will object, - "What differences ?! My beloved husband and I are the same! Our views on life completely coincide, we have the same hobbies and aspirations, and we always try to do everything together! Therefore, there can be no crisis in relations! Where does it come from, if we just do not quarrel over anything? " Of course, there are also pairs that all match. And reigning in the relationship between husband and wife, the silence, the smoothness and harmony they fully satisfy for many years. But practice shows that more often than not from "quiet, smooth and fret", both become bored, and a pair that seemed so reliable suddenly breaks up without much noise. Therefore it is quite possible to say that the crisis in your relations is in some way an indicator of the normal process of development of these very relationships and progress in the adaptation of men and women to each other. Quarrels between a man and a woman during a crisis can arise literally from scratch, regardless of their will and will. The reason for them can be every little thing, which, in fact, does not matter in life. From small things, a whole chain of conflicts develops, and now no one of the two can remember where the disagreements began, and tries to find other nonexistent shortcomings in the other, and he blames himself for not having noticed these pseudo-shortcomings. And he comes to the conclusion that he was mistaken, and it's time to stop the relationship before it's too late, and that there is simply no point in making any steps to reconciliation. Here - stop! When there is a crisis in relations, we all tend to attribute negative qualities to each other, which in reality are not in sight. Blinded by their emotions, we can easily break with her husband, who, once the wave of emotions has subsided, will once again seem the only and best in the world. And God forbid that in this case, you could get everything back. But it often happens that the opposite: the beloved person, who has done all kinds of things in the heat of the moment, has already been irretrievably lost, and now at least his head is against the wall, but there is no return to the past. And it remains only to regret what was done and try to forget for ever the last moments of true love. How to be, what to do? How to overcome the crisis in the relationship and understand that this is really a crisis, not the death of the original love?
How to survive the crisis in relations
So, our mutual love and enthusiasmfrom the knowledge of each other suddenly disappeared somewhere, replaced by constant quarrels and clarification of who is more right. And now everyone begins to seriously doubt their choice and sees the chosen one in a completely different light. Do not rush to conclusions. In such periods, the main thing is patience and the opportunity to look from one side to one's own actions. Perhaps it is we are showing incontinence and provoking a loved one into conflicts, trying to cling to each of his steps? If this is so, then you must first of all engage in yourself and try to develop in your character a quality such as patience. It is in the relationship of two akin to a magic wand - it will always help in critical moments and save the love from destruction. This is the main answer to the question of what to do in difficult situations and how to survive the crisis in relations. If in a loving couple until now the period of conflicts begins, both of them have to be cut in the nose: from any situation there is always a reasonable way out. Therefore, there is no point in hurrying up and making cardinal decisions about the break. It's very easy to break everything, but to create anew ... It's better not to take rash steps and find a compromise based on respect for each other. At the same time, one must take into account that man and woman are like different poles of the globe. They have different thinking, different psychology, different attitudes and vital attitudes. Often, inexperienced girls who do not know how to survive the crisis in their relationship with the guy, mistakenly ascribe to him their own views on the world. Do not make such a common mistake! Men think differently, and the crisis situation is perceived in their own way. Usually a strong sex tends to avoid scandals, so if they become frequent, many guys simply refuse to meet even with a very desirable girl. If the beloved does this, the girl should analyze her own behavior in order to understand whether she is the instigator of permanent quarrels and whether there is a weighty reason for these quarrels. Otherwise, attempts of a loved one to hide somewhere can lead to an undesirable outcome: sooner or later, he will simply find a more peaceful place. Of course, before you think about how to overcome the crisis in a relationship, you need to think carefully about whether there is still love between husband and wife. Maybe, in reality, this is not a crisis at all, but the death of love, which for too long does not make any sense. This is a question for a girl it is desirable to decide together with a guy, calmly expressing their claims to him. When someone starts to doubt their feelings, you can leave for a while to understand if you really want this person. If it is difficult without it, the world has become dull, and life seems meaningless, so it is worth thinking about how to behave when the relations are aggravated. If, in a day or two, we begin to forget about the existence of a loved one before - well ... Then it's better to part and not to fool each other's heads. When we are convinced that we need a person, and conflicts are really a consequence of the crisis in the relationship, we need to think about whether we make the right choice after quarrels. After all, an armistice is a whole science. Usually girls think that the guy first should take a step towards him and take a wait-and-see attitude, even if they realize that they are wrong in the conflict. The guy, in turn, does not want to go on about his beloved, and also waits, when she will step forward to meet him. How to be in this case? Of course, all women really want men to beg their pardon, rushing to their knees and falling asleep with flowers. They are especially keen on this when there are crises in your relationship; women are very vulnerable emotionally, and such crises are always a great shock to them, leaving a deep trail behind them. A lover on his knees and with flowers is in some way a cure for the transferred stress, an opportunity to mitigate his negative consequences. But!!! Let's think, dear girls, about who our so courageous guy can turn into if we start to constantly break him, forcing, on his knees, whether or not, to apologize for what he is not guilty of. In the end, if this person is pliant enough, we will receive instead of a strong man a weak-willed, completely dependent on our opinion of a subject worthy of no love at all, but, at best, indulgence. In the worst - contempt. Well, if our beloved has a strong character, then sooner or later a regular bump on his knees will bother him; man's dignity is a powerful thing! And then he will either make us respect this dignity, or simply disappear from our life. And the loss of a real man is a great loss. So in order to avoid such consequences of crises in the relationship, let's, dear girls, learn how to take independent steps towards reconciliation. After all, we are interested in the preservation of relations, and in the fact that next to us was a self-sufficient, reliable man, not a slobber and a weakling, who can not be trusted at all. Moreover, it is to us that nature is given to be wiser and more patient, and it is we, and not men, who are endowed with a great ability to forgive. Therefore, we will not take upon ourselves the functions of a severe exposer, it is impossible to build true happiness on this. However, do not build it even if we, even when the crisis comes, completely adjust to the beloved, trying to guess all his desires and please him in everything. It will not lead to anything good, it will only give rise to a feeling of disregard for us in the guy. To behave always should be worthy and every minute must be remembered that every girl is a person, with her own character, beliefs and aspirations. And this personality in itself is necessary and respected by itself, and to make others respect it. Therefore, in order to overcome conflict situations, one must be able to choose a path that will not become destructive for our personality. In a word, a truce is an art of respect for both your loved one and yourself. Learn this art is necessary, because it maximally contributes to how to overcome the crisis in your relationship with the minimum risk of their collapse. How can he learn? Where to begin? Here are some good tips that, at first glance, have little to do with the ability to put up; but these tips help you become more attentive to your beloved, form a true opinion about yourself, and in yourself, about him:
Take care of your happiness!
Now we know that in relations there are no crisesonly they are always, but must be, because they are the moment of truth. And overcome them must be patiently and persistently, otherwise there is no question of any serious relationship with worthy men. It is especially cautious and attentive to approach the first crisis in the relationship, because it is he who is the most capable of quickly destroying even such a fragile union of two hearts. If we take into account people who are dear to us and respect their opinion, our chances of happiness will increase significantly. And what, my dear girls, can be more desirable in this world than this all-consuming, all-conquering and so powerful female happiness? We advise you to read: