civil marriage If we correctly approach the question thatsuch a civil marriage, it can be defined as the formal registration of marital relations between a man and a woman authorized by the state bodies. It turns out that all people who have a marriage certificate in their hands and who did not pass the wedding ceremony are just such a marriage. Then it is not clear why in our country now this term always denotes relations of another kind, under which the couple does not register their relations officially, but simply conducts joint residence as spouses, so-called cohabitation? Such an intricate situation is connected with the period of the formation of the Soviet state and has a fairly simple explanation.

What does the term "civil marriage" mean?

The very term "civil marriage" arose in Russia in1918, when power in the country from the hands of the king passed to the Bolsheviks. Remember the school course of Russian history: before the revolution, the church and the state were inseparable, therefore relations between people were regulated by God's law, the fulfillment of which was assumed by clergymen. Since with the advent of the new government, completely different life principles were propagated in the society, based on atheism, the issue of concluding marital unions was wholly the prerogative of secular legislation. The weddings have lost validity, were outlawed and conducted secretly. Later, when the church marriage was practically superseded by the new order, the term "civil marriage" disappeared from everyday life, as it was he who became the only possible way to formalize relations in the new state. And the official conclusion of conjugal unions began to be called legitimate. With the passage of time and a change in the realities of life, the original meaning of civil marriage has lost, and now it has become known as the free relationship of a couple living together without formalizing the marriage. Although from the point of view of the church, any union between a man and a woman without a wedding ceremony is still sinful. However, we are primarily interested in the public view of civil marriages and the fact that relations of this kind are becoming more popular every year. This situation is due to the fact that before the marriage each pair goes through different stages of the relationship. Often, without the experience of living together, after the wedding, the newlyweds can experience disappointment. The result of such frustration is either a divorce or a long-term burdensome existence under one roof is not at all the person with whom I would like to live my whole life. That is why many couples prefer to first live in a civil marriage, and then enter into the legal. In this case they have the opportunity to get to know each other better. If cohabitation of lovers does not lead to disappointment, they decide to enter into a legal marriage. However, it is not uncommon for one person (or both) from a couple to permanently postpone a wedding (marriage registration procedure). Our society has changed for a long time, and today every couple has the right to choose the form of relations that most suit them. In this there is nothing to worry about if a civil marriage is a mutual desire. But what if one of you regards the official registration of relations as a very important step, confirming the seriousness of the intentions, and the other does not share this point of view? From the point of view of men living in the so-called "civil marriage", the stamp in the passport does not solve anything, but gives them an illusory sense of freedom. However, women have a completely different opinion: "He does not make me an offer. And I think that if he loved, he would marry me. " Since it is the representatives of the stronger sex who come up with the proposal to legalize marital relations, let's try to understand what causes often keep them from such a step. civil marriage is

Men are afraid of marriage with strong women

It's no secret that for a woman an official marriage isa sign of a certain status and success in society. The term "old maiden", although it has lost its original meaning, is often applied to women who are 30-35 years old, but they do not have a family and children. And even if a woman is divorced, it is better than not to be married at all. Society thinks in terms of stereotypes, and breaking them is a difficult and pointless business. That's what the fair sex representatives try to get the coveted stamp in the passport, although they are often not sure whether they will be able to live with a man selected for husbands in the future. But it also happens that a woman in itself has certain life achievements and is considered by society as self-sufficient and successful. Let's say she is with a man in such a relationship as a civil marriage. And it is the woman who has a higher position in society, and a solid salary, and generally has a strong temperament. Thus, she seems to be competing with a man and, accordingly, has little respect for him. The marriage certificate for such women is often regarded as another obligatory trophy, and not as a confirmation of a sincere desire to connect their lives with this person. Men feel this approach to marriage, even if it is veiled and served under the "other sauce", so evasion from the official union on their part looks like resistance to pressure and the desire to retain at least the appearance of freedom. What can you do if you are in a similar situation? First of all, honestly answer the question of whether you need marriage as evidence of love and strong family relationships. If the answer is positive, then think about whether enough man gets from you purely feminine signs, such as caring and affectionate attitude, showing sincere interest in his deeds, respect for needs. Perhaps, on your part all this is not enough, that's why the elect does not hurry to make an official proposal of the hand and heart. The way out can be a rethinking of your attitude towards a man and cultivation of femininity in yourself. Show that you are able not only to achieve success as a professional, but also ready for the role of wife, mother and really respect in your choice of a man's beginning.

The desire to preserve the illusion of freedom

Often one of the participants in the relationship underthe name "civil marriage" is simply beneficial in this way to maintain the severity of the relationship. Indeed, many women are afraid that a man who is not bound by an official union can leave at any moment by slamming the door. Therefore, they try in every way to please, adjust themselves and often sacrifice their principles and beliefs. This applies not only to men - many modern women also often use the opportunity to keep the elect in suspense. However, over time, they pass it and there is a desire for stability and confidence in the future. Representatives of the same sex does not mind as long as possible to remain free, because for many, free cohabitation is an opportunity to preserve precious freedom, however illusory it may be. In principle, such a position of a free union between a man and a woman is acceptable until it becomes a burden to one person from a couple. If your relationship has passed the test of time, and you feel that it's time to go to the registry office, then it's worth talking frankly about it with the chosen one, taking the initiative in your own hands. Often, men do not mind, but there are also rare cases when, instead of offering the hand and the heart, it sounds: "But you know, dear, we'd better part." In any case, you will find out what the elect actually thinks your relationship is temporary or permanent. After all, you too can not wait indefinitely, because the course of a biological clock can not be slowed down. what is a civil marriage

Fear of responsibility and bitter experience

Another deterrent, oftenpreventing representatives of the stronger sex formally formalize the relationship, is the fear of responsibility associated with such a decision. Indeed, the lion's share of all sorts of problems that the official young family faces to solve, falls on the man's shoulders. But often such a load is exaggerated by men, so they are afraid not to cope, not to conform to the image of the breadwinner and head of the family. So they try to keep independence longer, so that the measure of responsibility for the happy life of a nearby woman does not turn into a duty. And what should I do? It is necessary to show all the inherent softness and miracles of patience. Try to show your chosen one in every way, how much you appreciate in him the strength and mind, what a wonderful husband he will be, how happy your life is. Is this real man in all senses afraid to make relations official? The most difficult, often simply insurmountable, obstacle to registering a marriage for some men is the negative experience that they had in the past. Subconsciously, the previous unsuccessful union and the heavy divorce that followed it form a fear in the representatives of both sexes of translating the so-called successful cohabitation into an official status. It seems to them that this will make relations worse and lead to sad consequences. However, it is easier for women to decide on a second attempt because of certain psychological and biological characteristics. But men often avoid repeated legal marriages and interrupt relations, only by feeling transparent hints from the partner. If you are in a civil marriage with this person, then do not be in a hurry to despair. It is possible that the situation with the passage of time will change for the better, and you, having shown patience and endurance, will be able to change the views of your chosen one about a legitimate marriage, showing yourself to be ideal in every respect by a woman. But another option is possible for the development of relations, in which the man will not decide to formalize his relations for the second or third time. And here only you have the right to continue such cohabitation or go in search of another partner in life. After all, it is impossible to change a mature person or solve internal problems and contradictions for him.

Why do we need a civil marriage?

To answer this question, it is necessary as followsto understand the pros and cons of living together. And first of all I would like to talk about the undeniable advantages of this form of relations between people, because they are very significant. Especially this applies to cases when it comes to trying exactly the young guy and the girl to build a joint life, because they do not yet have this experience. Civil marriage is necessary first of all in order to check your compatibility. Because of the difference in habits and characters, even rest together can become a real hell, not to mention living together. After all, you will agree, meeting for several hours a day, it is easy to get away from problems. However, not every couple can survive side by side 24 hours a day. Therefore, many unpromising alliances fall apart when they begin to exist. Civil marriages have other psychological advantages. They level out common in the family life stereotypes, when a man is given the role of a getter, and the woman is assigned the role of a housewife. The absence of an official seal in the passport, if one may so express it, gives freedom of thought and stimulates people to try new options for sharing responsibilities. The same applies to the need for a common family budget: in free alliances, there is often a rule where everyone himself disposes of his income, allocating only a certain portion of it to general needs. There is no civil marriages and a proprietary relationship to one's half. Often both men and women show each other more respect, are capable of sincerity and frankness in determining their desires. Undoubtedly, all this gives an opportunity for harmonious development of relations and keeps their freshness for a long time. However, do not forget about the negative aspects that hides the informal cohabitation of men and women. And first of all, this is the uncertainty of civil unions from a legal point of view. This concerns the moments of the division of property accumulated by the couple over the years of their existence in unregistered official relations, in case of separation, because the marriage contract in this case can not be made. A number of unpleasant nuances apply to the possibility of living one of the civil spouses on the living space of another after the break. Also, problems arise if children are born in such a union, and it disintegrates. The issue of paying alimony is often to be decided in court, and even with the procedure for establishing paternity. Difficulties await those people who, in the sad circumstances of the death of one of the civil spouses, pretend to be the heir or heiress. The fact of the existence of marital relations will also have to be proved in court with the involvement of witnesses, which may prove to be a laborious and very expensive matter. If we summarize all of the above, then from the standpoint of feelings and emotions in civil marriage, there are plenty of positive sides, but the legal aspect of such relations is controversial and controversial. Therefore, choosing an option that involves cohabitation without formalizing a legal union, it is necessary to take into account all its aspects. civil marriages

How to live in a civil marriage?

You can live with your chosen one if youboth are dreaming of getting married. A woman should not consider such relations as an opportunity to conclude an official union in the future if she does not have confidence that the elect is generally ready for a joint life. Maybe he just gives in to her under certain pressure in an attempt to keep the sexual connection. When deciding to live together, be sure to talk with your loved one and make sure that he fully adheres to the same opinion. In this way, you will be able to avoid misunderstandings in the future because one of you is just spending time, and the other hopes that you will soon be married. Agree with the chosen one that after a certain period of time, say, six months or a year, you will analyze your relationship and decide together whether you are ready for marriage or not. Do not settle with a guy if you do not want to marry him. And also refuse to live together if he does not think about family life, but rather seeks to have a temporary roof over his head and a hot dinner. The relationship, now called civil marriages, should be considered primarily as an opportunity for a kind of training before entering into formal legal relations. How to calculate the most suitable time for this? Many couples consider it necessary to register their union when they feel that for the continued existence of their happy family it is time to have children. No matter how your relations develop in the future, whether a legal marriage is a continuation of a civil union or not, it is always worth remembering the degree of responsibility that people take on entering both formal and informal cohabitation. After all, life next to a loving and beloved person should be in joy, and not instill uncertainty and fear. We advise you to read:

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