Unfortunately, even in modern life, whichis extremely rich in various incidents - criminal disassembly, accidents, natural disasters - sometimes there are events that can shock the most experienced doctors and investigators. What can I say about an ordinary man in the street? Such incidents include child suicide. The child is the personification of the beginning of life, before him lies a large number of various roads and opportunities, he has yet to learn all that is ready to offer a person life. Children's death is perhaps the most ridiculous and tragic event one can imagine. But if, with death from severe diseases, will-willy-nilly have to put up and accept it, death as a result of suicide is always like a bolt from the blue. The mind of the surrounding people simply refuses to accept this terrible reality - voluntary withdrawal from the life of a child or adolescent. Child suicide is something that you can almost always avoid. The main thing that is necessary for this is to notice alarm signals in time. No child decides to leave his life and will realize his decision in a matter of hours. As a rule, such a solution ripens in the child's head for more than a day, and not even a week. And all this time the child desperately appeals to adults, in various ways letting parents know that he is very ill. Attentive parents will never ignore the changed behavior of their chat. Below, more details are given about such aspects as the causes of child suicide, its prevention and psychological assistance to such children.
Age of children committing suicide
As statistics of teenagesuicide, as a rule, suicide attempts are not committed by children under 11 years of age. But do not delude yourself and consider that small children do not have a serious mental condition. Just kids still do not fully realize what death is. However, often in their conversations and thoughts, loving and attentive mom and dad can notice cause for alarm. Here, for example, what a child psychologist told a story: a little girl of 7 years for a long time repeated that she would turn into a butterfly and fly away from her parents. Parents just chuckled at funny childish threats. However, at 12, this girl committed a very serious suicide attempt by jumping from the 4th floor. The doctors miraculously managed to save her life. And if childish suicide still, fortunately, is rare enough, then about teenage suicides can not be said the same. It is at the age of 13 - 16 years, according to statistics, there is a peak of teenage suicides. Many child psychologists tend to think that the desire for death is a fairly common reaction of the teenage psyche to the emergence of a stressful situation. Moreover, mass suicides of adolescent children are by no means a rare phenomenon. For group suicides, when a group of children simultaneously or after one another commit a so-called "copied" suicide. The mechanism of such suicides is based on the tendency of teenagers to imitate and increase the suggestibility of adolescents.
Children at risk
The opinion is very widespread among people,that attempts of suicide are committed only by mentally unbalanced people who suffer from various mental illnesses, such as schizophrenia, paranoia, and also some other diseases of the nervous system. In fact, this is completely wrong. The overwhelming majority of suicides are committed by absolutely mentally healthy people who are very clearly aware of their actions. As a rule, the causes of suicides are purely personal reasons and experiences, problems that a teenager often seem completely insoluble. And the conceived adults are very surprised when they learn that they pushed the child to such a step - the reason may be so insignificant that the adult person simply would not pay any special attention to it. For a child, it is global. The following are the problems of adolescents who most often cause suicide of adolescents. Do not smile - believe me, for a child these are really serious problems:
- Quarrel with friends. And the quarrel can be because of an absolute trifle.
- Parting with a loved one or his betrayal. In adolescence, children are confident that the first love is forever and takes it very seriously.
- The death of one of close relatives.
- Frequent hit of the child in stressful situations.
- A complex psychological situation in the family - quarrels with parents, scandals of parents among themselves, their divorce.
- Prolonged depressed state of a teenager.
- Problems of the child with drugs. As a rule, narcotic dependence entails financial problems and problems with law enforcement agencies.
- Game addiction and dependence on the Internet.
- Violence in family. Often, a teenager considers himself guilty in what is happening and is afraid to tell adults about what is happening.
- Teenage pregnancy. Pregnancy teenage girl becomes a reason for suicide in about 21% of all cases.
Often tragedies can be avoided. Prevention of child suicide often helps to avoid the worst - the death of a child. The main thing that is necessary for this is the parents' attention to the changes taking place in the child's behavior. Often, the first alarming bells can become mere trifles - a phrase dropped ostensibly accidentally, or something else. Always pay close attention to the following factors, which indicate that child and adolescent suicide is possible:
- Conversations of the child about suicide, unhealthy fantasies on this subject, emphasis on episodes of suicides in films, news.
- The appearance of the child's literature on suicides, viewing relevant information on the Internet.
- Attempts of the child to retire. The desire for solitude, the refusal to communicate does not always indicate a predisposition to suicide, but always speaks of the moral discomfort of the child.
- Talking and thinking of the child that heabsolutely nobody needs, that if he disappears, no one will look for him, and he will not even notice his absence. In no case do not leave such statements without attention and do not make fun of them. Try to find out the reason for this mood and convince the child of the opposite.
- Even music or painting can serve as a symptom for parents that something is wrong. Pay attention to what kind of music your child listens to.
- Carefully camouflaged attempts of the child to say goodbye to you - unusual conversations about love for you, attempts to finish all your affairs as quickly as possible.
- Giving your loved ones and most valuable things, with which he had never left, to his friends.
In the event that at least something in the behavior of yourthe child seemed strange or disturbing to you, immediately throw all your affairs and try to spend almost all the time next to the child until you are firmly convinced that your child's suicidal mood has gone without a trace. If you are not able to cope with the existing problem on your own, do not be shy and immediately seek help from child psychologists or even psychiatrists. Also, psychologists have proved that fact, and parents need to remember this, that often teenagers attempt suicide not because they really want to die. The reason for such a suicide attempt is a banal desire to attract attention of others, a kind of cry for help. For such children, cut veins or tablets are only a kind of way to tell the world about the degree of their despair. However, very often such attempts to attract attention lead to disability, and even to the death of the child.
Indirect prerequisites for suicidal tendencies
The above describes the signs that can oftento point out the impending disaster. However, in addition to direct signs, child psychologists identified groups of adolescents in whom the risk of suicide is much higher than that of their peers. The distinctive features of the nature of these children are described below:
- Teens who do not know how to correctly formulate their thoughts, experiences, can not explain what they feel.
- The dual attitude of the adolescent and,accordingly, its behavior. On the one hand, a teenager does not feel like a child, adult emotions and feelings overwhelm him, he tries in every possible way to defend his independence. But at the same time, the teenager behaves like a child, completely dependent on the parents, both in the domestic and emotional terms. This contradiction deprives the child of peace of mind.
- Hyper pronounced teenage maximalism. The child is harsh in his judgments and assessments, both to others and to himself.
- Inability to analyze their actions and predict their consequences.
When investigating a sufficiently large numberchildren and adolescent suicides, psychologists noticed one common feature: practically all children have a largely disrupted normal emotional relationship with their family, and in girls - especially with their mother. No matter how adult the teenager could position himself, the lack of mutual understanding and contact with the family can greatly aggravate the child's experiences, making them particularly acute and at times almost tragic. Parents should remember that far from all deterioration of relations in the family is indifference and inattention of parents. If parents do not trust the child, they refuse to accept him as an already independent, formed personality, who has the right to his own opinion, outlook, values and needs, and family relationships can deteriorate significantly. Even if you do not directly tell the child about this, he will subconsciously still feel your distrust and try to protest against the existing state of things. And this process can take a variety of forms, including the form of an attempt or, even worse, suicide itself. Suicides among adolescents are often a kind of protest. Very carefully listen to what your child is saying. Sometimes the alarm signal can serve as a trifling utterance, thrown in a heat during a quarrel, like "I do not want to see you!". In the same case, if the child allows himself more serious threats, such as "I cut my veins" or "I jump into the window," do not commit the most common mistake - provocative reactions. Do not laugh at the child at all and do not say that no one will interfere with him. Very often, children who talk about suicide for the sole purpose of annihilating or blackmailing their parents after receiving such an ironic reaction, out of a sense of stubbornness and a desire to prove to their parents that they are wrong, decide on suicide. Of course, it is quite understandable that, for their evil irony and ostentatious, fickle indifference, parents try to disguise the chilling fear of the possibility of suicide. And also very many parents, accustomed to the fact that their children always follow their instructions to the exact opposite, and this time will not change their principles and will never dare to take such a desperate step as suicide. But it is necessary to take into account that the child does not know that your words and reactions are nothing more than a pedagogical trick. Doubt in your voice, he can take to his account and try to prove to you his resolve in any way, even as scary as suicide. And your words, from which the coolness and indifference are bleeding, the child can perceive as a confirmation and proof that he absolutely does not need anyone, even his parents.
Actions of parents when attempting suicide
If nevertheless it was not possible to prevent the misfortune, andthe child still made an attempt at suicide, parents should take a set of urgent measures. Of course, your first feeling will be fright and relief from the fact that the child's life was still saved. Do not hide your feelings from the child under the guise of indifference and even more so anger. The child must feel that you love him very much and cherish them. After the child's health is stabilized, you will definitely need to seek the help of psychologists. In no case do not neglect the help of professionals - it is often impossible to cope with the problem on their own. In the event that doctors find it necessary to place your child in a specialized rehabilitation center, in no case do not refuse. Remember that your child did not just attempt to commit suicide, which means that he can repeat it if the cause of it is not identified and eliminated. Although, in fairness, it should be noted that, as statistics show, child suicide is a single character. Repeated attempts at suicide in adolescence are very rare - no more than one in 600 cases. However, this is not a reason for parents to weaken attention and control over the emotional state of a child who is in trouble. Often, adults, mature people are not always able to cope with their own emotions. What can we say about the fragile psyche of a teenager. In the same case, if the hospitalization of the child is not required, most of the responsibility for the rehabilitation of the child's health falls on the shoulders of the parents. Do not conflict with the child at all, do not blame him for anything. Try to understand your child, get into his position and help him. In the event that the child will feel your help and support, he will no longer try to settle his life.
If there was a trouble
In the event that a disaster occurred, and the childvoluntarily passed away, parents for a long time can not accept this fact and reconcile with what happened. However, time, no matter how trite it sounds, heals and sooner or later parents will have the ability to analyze what happened. They will have a huge number of various questions, the meaning of which is reduced to only one - "Why ?!". What exactly led their child to make such a fateful decision? And almost all parents eventually come to the same sad conclusion: they did not look through somewhere, did not see alarm signals, did not pay attention to the approaching trouble. Of course, realizing this fact is a very difficult process. Together with him comes a terrible, tormenting, exhausting sense of guilt. The life of the parents turns into a total hell. However, often not only the life of parents turns into hell, but the life of the whole family, in which very often there is another child. And this child is constantly in a stressful situation, and often also with a sense of indifference to himself. Unfortunately, this happens often enough - blinded by grief and guilt, parents stop properly dealing with the second child, often simply stopping to notice him. Of course, blame for this parents is not necessary - their mental state leaves much to be desired and they themselves need professional psychological help. Do not neglect the services of a psychologist - because your life, no matter how cynical it may sound, did not end with the death of your child. And it depends on you your second crumbs - he needs your support and love. After all, otherwise there is a risk of a repetition of a terrible tragedy, which you will hardly be able to survive again. Children's life is the most fragile and the most precious miracle that destiny gives to people. And it often depends on how happy and how long it will become. We advise you to read: