child or career Sooner or later every woman gets upa dilemma - what is more important, a child or career? As soon as a newborn appears in the baby's crib, a woman can not think of anything other than diapers, the technique of breastfeeding and cutting teeth. At this time, professional growth ceases to interest her. But she must be prepared for the time when she will have to decide whether she will return to her former profession, seeking career growth, or she will remain a "professional mother". Do you think it is possible to unite the family, raise children and careers? Perhaps the majority will answer; but you must understand that it is possible, mainly with the support of a partner, relatives or friends. With the help of close people, many women were able to continue to build their careers after the birth of a child.

Attitude to the woman remained traditional

I must say that in the 21st century the labor marketThe distribution of promising jobs between a man and a woman often depends on the traditions and prejudices of the past. For some reason, it is considered that a man is a "breadwinner and head of the family", and a woman is primarily a "mother and a housewife". "The church, the kitchen, the children" - these are the main limitations, which as an invisible fence are still often trying to restrict the interests of women. Even today, in our time, most employers consider any young woman primarily a potential mother. Either the woman is discriminated against at a time when she is preparing to become a mother.

Different women, different desires

Every woman can choose her way of life inAccording to his free, independent of anybody's decision. Although today we mainly talk about choosing between family, children and career, there are so many women for whom this decision does not represent any dilemma. For them, the decision is clear and does not require reflection - they want to have children! And strive to create a family. At the opposite pole, there are many women who love their work and give so much effort to move up the career ladder that they do not want children. Their profession is more important for them and brings more satisfaction and opportunities to realize than caring for the family. However, there are also many women who are somewhere in the middle: they want to have a family, but at the same time realize that by giving them a lot of time to study, they want to achieve something more in life than just giving birth and raising children . And they are well aware that having children, they will have to find enough free time to be able to take care of their family. This, of course, can only be done at the expense of a career. And more: women understand that there will come a day when children grow up and leave the nest; and then what to do with the newly acquired free time? After all, time is lost, career is not done ... We should also mention women who would be happy to stay as much time as possible at home with their children, but for financial reasons they can not afford it.

How to find the best solution?

From the outset, it should be said that the optimalthe decision for each woman will be different, and it is very difficult to generalize the situation. The decision must be based on the desire and needs of the woman herself. Another Delphian oracle above the entrance was an inscription - "Know thyself." Most likely, in ancient mythology this statement means that no one can escape his fate, and by studying himself, a person will be able to know his future. But in our time we can interpret this statement differently: we always have many ways and ways of solving our problems; listen to your desires, recognize the motives of these desires, evaluate your possibilities - and dispose of your life in accordance with your deepest desires. Only in this way can you understand what is more important to you personally - children or a career; as soon as the woman herself becomes clear, the decision will immediately come. For many women, the question is not whether or not to have a family or a career; the main question for them is how these two important components of our life are to be optimally combined. Modern women do not want to abandon the family, but they do not want to give up life outside the family. Psychologists call such a throwing of intrapsychic conflicts - when a person suffers from a contradiction between what his body, mind and soul wants and what he has in reality. Trying to understand ourselves, we must not forget that our ideals and ideas have a great influence on our behavior and on our acceptance of any decisions. Very common among women was the idea that an ideal woman is able to combine both a career and caring for children and home. Taking a decision for ourselves, we must remember that in real life to do 100% good, both are unlikely to work out. children or career

Which way to choose?

No matter how hard, yet every womanhas the opportunity to follow his choice. There are not so many options, but each of them can be ideal for one of you: Become a mother immediately after graduation or at the very beginning of a career. This situation has great advantages in that a woman is at an ideal age for conception and birth of a child. She is full of strength and energy, and all her powers are aimed at creating a new way of life (family, husband and child). She does not have to take away from her loved ones precious moments of communication for work. In order to stay at home with the child, there is one big advantage - within three years we have the opportunity to influence the upbringing of the child. During this time, you can teach him the basic rules of behavior, we can teach you how to control anger, disappointment, and give him useful habits. And the child will not suffer from lack of intimacy and love from his mother - what could be more important ?! However, this option may have its drawbacks - a woman will return to work and begin her career as a beginner, and will stand on the same level with recent graduates, being several years older than them. In addition, some professions require retraining, training in courses (for example, doctors or teachers), and the woman will have less time for family and home. To postpone motherhood for a later period. Then the woman will be able to calmly finish the education, experience the period of practice, gain experience and make a career. Becoming a mother, such a woman can safely return to work when the baby grows up. Return to work will not become for her "leaping into the unknown." Such a decision has some significant drawbacks: it is difficult for some women after they feel at work as real professionals, to stop career growth and adapt to the role of disinterested guardian of a small creature. And more importantly, a woman who postponed the birth of a child at a more convenient time, with each passing year more and more approaches age, when it becomes increasingly difficult to conceive, and pregnancy is increasingly difficult. In addition, such a woman most often gives birth to only one child; to give birth to a second or more, she simply does not have time. And after all, often then she has to regret about the lost time - having finally learned the joy of motherhood, many women want to have several children. After giving birth, a woman often realizes that the hunt for money and career is inherently ephemeral, while the child is our tangible continuation, our future. Have children and continue to work. This path has several options and largely depends on the woman herself and her environment. Also, it largely depends on the age of the child and the number of children in the family. In caring for a baby, a working woman can be helped by relatives, older children. In the end, the child's father can go on a childcare leave, especially if the wife eventually earns more. In such situations, much depends on how much the woman is demanding or vice versa, undemanding to housekeeping and raising children. If you are satisfied with how others do it, it will be easier for you to leave the house for helpers and go to work. Or you simply will not spend precious free time from work on establishing the ideal order, and spend it on communication with children. And then the career and the birth of a child will not contradict you. I must say that the quality care for a child does not depend on how much time each day you are with him, but on how much time you devote directly to him, how often you respond when the child needs you. A woman who plays after an hour or two with her child, but at the same time learns something, tries to build open and friendly relations - a much better mother than the woman who keeps the child in sight for days on end, but with It deals mostly with itself, watching TV or sitting chatting with friends.

Continue to work? Why not!

If you have a good employer who appreciatesyou, as a promising employee, then you will be able to find the optimal solution acceptable for both parties. Each side will make some concessions in order to meet each other's interests. For example, there are such employers that allow the work to be partially performed at home. They will even be happy if the woman continues to work outside the office - the main thing is not to lose a good specialist. If it happens that you can not find a common language with your employer, do not despair. If you are a good specialist, you will always find a job. In addition, while the child is small, you can work on the newly acquired specialty - try, for example, to finish courses in visage or accounting courses. Now there are many specialties that are easy to get while on maternity leave, and then work at home or via the Internet. The main thing is to choose exactly what you are really interested in, then it will be easier to make money. If you, in addition, loving, ready to support your partner, then very soon you will be able to make sure that everything will go like clockwork - and the baby will be under supervision, and money will come to the family budget. Fortunately, most women can rely on a partner, grandparents or other relatives who usually help in the first critical moments. This is very useful for your partner too: close communication with the child promotes the appearance of a special attitude to the baby, and he himself will be taught to be a father (for it is not so natural for him as in the case of the mother).

Children - our joy and happiness

Every healthy woman should experience joymotherhood. The child is the true destiny of the woman. Maternity is the best thing that can happen in a woman's life. The smile of a petite princess or prince is an indescribable reward for pain and tension, fatigue and any deprivation. Of course, the birth of a child helps to reduce the financial well-being of the family, and this often becomes one of the main reasons for the postponement of maternity in later years. In the case of single mothers, it is generally speaking in the literal sense of the struggle for every penny. Sometimes this stage of life becomes a big test for a woman; but women are usually strong in spirit and with honor withstand this test. We advise you to read: