With children's fears almost all are familiarparents without exception. And the most common of these fears is the fear of the dark. Many popes are surprised - well, why else yesterday their crumbs remained in a completely dark room without fear, and today, even with the light of a night lamp, begins to be capricious. Child psychologists argue that the appearance of fear of darkness - is nothing but a sign of the correct development of the child's brain. Therefore, do not panic too much - a common and completely normal phenomenon. However, to leave children's fears of darkness without attention is also in no case impossible - otherwise get problems with an already fragile child's psyche.
The reasons that contribute to the emergence of fears
Despite the fact that children's fears arealmost an integral part of the child's growing up, very often it is the parents that contribute to their emergence. Therefore it is very important to know what exactly can provoke the development of fear of darkness and aggravate them. Let's see why the children are afraid of the dark.
It would seem that all adults are fineunderstand that horror movies are definitely not for children. But nevertheless, very often parents include all sorts of "living dead" and their ilk, without much thought, whether the child is running around. And believe me - even if it seems to you that the kid is completely absorbed in the game and does not pay any attention to the screen, in fact it is not. So if you want to watch horror movies - look at your health. But only behind the tightly closed doors.
- "Educational" techniques
The word educational is not in vain taken in quotes -education, intimidation of a child is very difficult. But many families still frighten the child with a gray wolf, a Baba Yaga, a babe. So do not be surprised if your child begins to cry hysterically as soon as you turn off the light.
- Psychological situation
Child psychologists say that most oftenthe cause of childhood fears is the tense psychological situation in the family. Children - they are like barometers, are just as sensitive to any changes within the family. And if you naively believe that the child does not know about the conflicts in the family, you are mistaken. Perhaps he can not formulate his anxiety with words, but it does not slow down to find a way out. Including fear of the dark.
How to cope with fears?
Of course, knowing the cause of childhood fears is very important.it is important to try to prevent the occurrence of this situation. However, in order to cope with the childish fear of the dark, this is clearly not enough - you need to know how to fix the problem. Immediately I would like to say that it is most reasonable to seek help from a child psychologist. A specialist will really appreciate the psychological state of your crumbs, find "where the legs grow" from the problem, pick up the optimal therapy to get rid of the fear of the dark. But very much depends on the parents too. If the child is afraid of the dark, the main task of the parents is to help him overcome this fear.
- Heroes of children's fairy tales
A very effective tool that can helpa child to cope with their fears - these are the heroes of children's fairy tales. All young children have a very strong imagination - they can revive any characters. And if negative characters become a reason for fear of darkness, then the positive heroes will help with this very fear of coping, and in the shortest possible time. And you just need to push the child in the right direction - for example, tell the crumb that Winnie-the-Pooh is coping well with ghosts, and Cheburashka Baba Yaga is more afraid of everything. Told the baby? And now go together with the child to the toy store and choose a new friend for him. In the evening, before going to bed, be sure to lose the situation with the child and the toy, and ask the child to play the role of a negative character - this will help the child visualize their fears and get rid of them.
- Buy a night light
Very many parents believe that the best wayfor a child who is afraid of the dark is ... darkness. They simply turn off the light, regardless of the child's tears. However, you can not do this - you will only aggravate the situation. Be sure to buy a baby night light - this will reduce the severity of the problem. And in some cases, fear and does go away - because the room is not dark! But do not forget about safety - a night light is necessary to buy a quality one to prevent its ignition. Choose a suitable place for a night lamp - he should not stand too close to the child's bed so that the light does not hit the eyes.
- Protect your child from stress
And, finally, the most important condition thatit is necessary to observe those parents whose child is afraid of the dark - this is a calm psychological situation. Try to protect the child from all stresses as much as possible. And, by the way, you need to try as little as possible to scold a child for misconduct. Look for other ways of influencing that will not hurt the psyche of a child who is afraid of darkness. Psychologists say that those children, on which parents raise their voices and even more spank, are afraid of darkness much more often.
What can not be done in any case?
If for your child the fear of darkness is notan empty sound, you must remember how our father is a few things that you can not do in any case. Otherwise, the fear of the dark will not be able to defeat you and the problem will only get worse. And then certainly without the help of a psychologist will not manage. And in especially severe cases, it may even be necessary to take medication. Agree, it is hardly worthwhile to aggravate the situation to such an extent. So, what can not do to parents, whose child is afraid of the dark?
- Do not try to dissuade the child.
So, the parents realized that the child is afraid of the dark. As a rule, the first thing that parents do in the hope of defeating the fear of the dark is that they begin to explain to the child all the absurdity of this fear, and they do it at the level of an adult's understanding. But in this, alas, there is no point. Remember - the child's fear of the dark is absolutely irrational and the child simply will not understand most of the logical arguments that you bring to him, trying to explain that you do not need to be afraid of the dark. The maximum that you will achieve in this way is the loss of the child's trust. the baby will decide that you do not trust him and will generally close in yourself.
- Do not play along to the baby.
But it is also not worth it to go to extremes. By the way, also the widespread mistake of parents - they begin to play along with the child, agreeing with all his fantasies. If the child understands that you believe him, there is a risk that his reality will be bound with fiction. As a result, the fear of darkness will intensify many times. And to cope with it will be almost impossible.
- Do not shame the child
Another very blunder on the part of parents- an attempt to ridicule the child because of his fears. Believe me, if your child begins to feel shame, it will not lead to anything good - fears will not disappear anywhere, and an inferiority complex will be added to them. Which, by the way, these fears will strengthen at times. And it's not surprising, because a child will be sure that he is weak and unable to cope with the critical situation. In this case - with his fear of darkness.
- Do not scold the child
All of the above is true forswearing. Very often parents are annoyed by the child's fear of darkness and they simply scold him for it. And what is most surprising, in most cases the child ceases to be afraid of the dark. More precisely, it gives an impression. that ceases to be afraid. In fact, the fear does not disappear anywhere, it just goes deep. And do you know why? Because the fear of blaming the parents is always stronger. And the problem itself will be from the inside to undermine the child's nervous system. Yes, and complexes will increase. And most importantly, what you will need is patience, patience and patience again. Do not expect too fast results - in one day the problem will not be solved. On average, overcoming the fear of the dark takes from a few months to six months. And once again draw the attention of the parents - if you can not cope with your own child's fears, ask for help from a child psychologist. After all, the earlier the child will be provided with professional help, the sooner in the bedroom of your baby will reign peace and tranquility.