For many years, people have been concerned about the questionIs friendship between a man and a woman? And indeed, there is no unequivocal answer to it. According to the results of sociological surveys, one can conclude: most people believe that there is a friendship between a man and a woman. However, almost no one gave an unambiguous answer, most often it was said that everything depends on specific people. Indeed, only we ourselves are able to answer for our actions, although the feelings to control are sometimes very difficult. But hardly anyone will want to argue with the fact that at the heart of the emergence of friendly relations between the representatives of the opposite sex can only be the original external sympathy. After all, girls tend to be friends among themselves on the basis of common interests, even in the event that the appearance of one of them is inferior to the other. This difference, by the way, often benefits both, because it adds popularity to a less interesting lady, but does not cause jealousy in a more beautiful companion. It is also known the ability of women to "make friends against someone". This often makes friends even quite different ladies for a while. As for the male friendship, legends about it in general. Therefore, the fact that young people need friendship for friendship, in general, looks ridiculous. And quite another thing, if we are talking about a friendly relationship of a young man with a girl or a woman with a man. Here you can not do without the fact that these people should be at least a little sympathetic to each other purely outwardly. And what makes us look for friends in the opposite sex? And what happens when there is sex in these relationships? These and some other questions will be discussed in this article.
Friendship with a man: a feminine look
Why girls and women, despite the availabilitygirlfriends, still often try to establish and maintain friendly relations with men? After all, it would seem that there are much less common topics for talking with representatives of the strong half of humanity: fashion issues are not discussed, they can not gossip, they do not understand cosmetics, and so on. Then why on the question of whether there is friendship between a man and a woman, many girls respond in the affirmative? Perhaps this is due to the fact that such relationships allow you to get something that is often impossible to achieve, communicating only in the girl's company. That's what phrases are most often cited as arguments of a supporter of friendship with representatives of the stronger sex. "A man-friend is not my competitor!" - that's what girls think, and they are absolutely right. Friendship with a woman always leads to the fact that you involuntarily compare each other: whoever does make-up, looks better, likes men better, took a better job in the professional sphere, is happier in the family, and so on. And it happens even with the closest friends - often you do not even realize in this account. And here there can not be anything wrong or bad - just so we all are, the fair sex. For example, you and your girlfriend go to a nightclub to relax and have a fun evening. And if she starts to use the attention of more men, you will immediately feel a stab of hurt pride and instantly start to get angry, and it's on a friend. A real test for female friendship can be falling in love with one young man. In rare cases, the girls manage to come to terms with the fact that one of them preferred the other. After all, women's self-esteem suffers, you start to think that a girlfriend is sexier, prettier and so on. And be angry with her, trying to blame for cunning and insidiousness, especially if you were the first to pay attention to the man you liked and were the initiator of the acquaintance. And laurels went to a friend. Women rarely forgive this, even if they have the discretion not to cultivate a complex on this ground. And with a man-friend of the competition there is nothing to be afraid of. You are a priori different, because you are representatives of the opposite sex, and therefore the objects of attraction for each of you are different. That is why we say that often friendship with a man can be very useful. "A man-friend raises my rating!" - this statement is also true. If your friend has an impressive appearance and a status car, answer yourself the question, are you very pleased to be with him at parties and parties? Of course yes. You get pleasure from the fact that on your companion women are looked around, because this, it may be, adds to you a certain significance in their eyes. They do not know what kind of relationship you are in. Sometimes girls, in order to cause jealousy among fans or force them to take more decisive actions, it is enough just to appear in the general company at hand with a very unknown but charming little young man. This immediately raises their rating among girlfriends and other guys. "A man-friend has a different angle of view!" - this is undeniable, because representatives of different sexes look at many things differently. In friendly relations between them, this can be very useful, as it allows you to get a sincere and free from envy evaluation. For example, you bought yourself a new dress. How will female half of her friends react? Someone will admire, but someone will express disapproval. And who will you believe? That's right, first, ask the opinion of a man-friend, because he does not need to deceive you, convincing that the dress sits amazingly, mentally gloating: "Well, taste!". And to lie about the fact that the thing does not go to you, it will not be either. He simply does not need it. Sometimes a woman wants to share with her friends some very personal experiences, but it is stopped by their excessive emotionality and the understanding that concrete and sensible advice is unlikely to be heard. And then we call a man-friend who is always capable of reasoning soberly and calmly, and although in his assessments he can often be ruthless, but always remains honest. "A man-friend is different compared to friends!" - one can not disagree with this statement. Often happens, that we closely communicate with people with whom in many respects are similar. Well, for example, a girl-excellent pupil at school is friends with the same clever ones as herself. And in later life it can be that we are surrounded by friends who have the same interests. This is normal, because the similarity in views really brings women together on the basis of the same topics for conversation and so on. But, you see, sometimes you get tired of this and look for variety in communication. And male friends are basically opposite people to us. And so the time spent with them can bring something new into our lives. A friend of the opposite sex is able to invite you to a place that you would never visit with a friend, for example, a test drive of a steep car or race. For girls who are bored with gathering in a cafe and discussing gentlemen and fashion trends, this will be a good alternative. With a friend, you can go to a tasting of alcohol without fear of being alone in a society drunken men, or go to a country club just for rest, and not for the purpose of meeting with members of the opposite sex and so on. "A lonely girl can not do without a man's hands!" - another reason for friendship with young people. Often, friendly relations develop with our male neighbors, especially if we grew up together with them and therefore are accustomed to seeing and communicating often. And this can also be very useful, because a close friend is not at all scared to invite to the apartment with a request to move furniture, fix the computer, repair the tap or just replace the burned light bulb. Such an assistant will not demand payment for his services, except for a delicious lunch or tea-party with homemade pies. Or maybe, for example, bring your new passion to visit to hear your assessment of his choice. But in a friendly relationship between a man and a woman there are some disadvantages. It's not a secret that friendship between people of the opposite sex is of two kinds. The first is when one person is friends with another because of a secret love for him. The lover understands that he will not be reciprocated, and tries to prove himself as a friend, hoping that he will be noticed and appreciated. Such friends of the opposite sex can give gifts for Birthday, go to the cinema, help in different situations. The second kind of friendship is a sincere friendship. It is something that is real and real. Most often it begins in childhood and lasts a lifetime. With such friendship, a man and a woman become like a brother and sister. But sometimes we do not notice its true motives. Or they change with time. As often happens, that we begin to communicate with a person and in time we understand that we can not exist without it. Therefore, to cross the line of friendship between a man and a woman can be very simple. And we want to talk about the main dangers that await you in friendly relations with men. "But whether only friendship is between us?" - this question often arises in women, because often a mask of a sincere friend tries on your long-standing admirer, whom you do not perceive as an object of love. And we, women, are not deprived of the ability to associate with men, to whom we have romantic feelings in the hope that we will be able to become someone closer to them. And this is the main problem and danger. To distinguish friendship from romance, one must first understand the difference. Friendship is a relationship built on trust and mutual respect. At the heart of romance lie dreaminess, mutual attraction, attraction and sympathy. But sometimes it is difficult to determine the true motive, and we begin to confuse one with another, deceiving and deceiving others. For example, your friend invites you to visit the entertainment complex, where in the wind tunnel you can feel the entire charm of the flight, which creates an air flow. It seems to be an innocuous proposal, but it may also be that in this way he decided to prove the truth of his feelings and the seriousness of his intentions. Therefore, do not rush to draw conclusions about the insignificance of such a proposal. If you have a desire to touch your friend, hug him, stay with him all the time, then, most likely, we are talking about romantic relationships, but not about friendships. To avoid this, try to be alone only when discussing important issues. Do not represent a friend in the role of your partner or partner. The same goes for sexual fantasies. Although cases are known, and there are many of them, when perennial friendly relations develop into romantic, and then into family. A man who is in love, whom you perceive only as a good friend, can go to much, just to be near you. He will walk with your friends for a long time, watch your novels, listen to disappointed complaints and be a "vest" in which you can cry. But it is at the moment when you are completely disappointed in men, will appear before you in a completely different capacity. And you, perhaps, will see it in a new light: "Why did I search so long for what was always there?". The stories are such happy finals. "How not to do nonsense?" - We are worried, and not in vain. Why do many women claim that they do not believe in friendship with men? This is due to the fact that they were not able to balance on the fine edge of platonic relationships so expertly that they would not later find themselves in bed with a friend. Sex with a man, who used to be only a friend, is a very common phenomenon. Indeed, in situations where there is a calm on your and his love fronts, there is a great chance of finding solace in not embracing each other's arms. And there is nothing to worry about if the relationship becomes romantic, and you will both be happy. But it also happens that the companions of sexual communication with a friend become uncomfortable and disappointed. Well, if you both have the wisdom to step over it, staying in the same relationship. But this happens rarely: in most cases it is for women here that friendship ends, leaving only bitter regrets about the misunderstanding. Therefore, before you go to extremes and go to bed with your friend, think about whether you are prepared for the consequences. "Everything spoils the jealousy of our other halves!" - it is likely, because not all people are able to believe in friendly relations between the representatives of the opposite sex. And so your beloved or spouse, as well as a girlfriend or a friend's wife can be incredulous and jealous of each other. Believe me, all your explanations that this is just friendship and nothing else, for the better, the situation will not change. Scandals and claims can not be avoided unless you start to communicate in pairs. And this will not allow you to preserve the sincerity that existed between you and a friend before, at a tete-a-tete meeting. Of course, you can hide your friendship, see it occasionally. But since the secret can often be uncovered, it is necessary to take risks with the mind, so as not to cause unnecessary anxiety to loved ones. Although it also happens that their attitude to your personal friends is within tolerance, then you are very lucky.
Friendship with a woman: a male look
Why a man can often be comfortable withthe girl? Well, for example, she never refuses to express a sincere opinion about the bought perfume or shirt, will help to choose the right tie, will make the company for a party where it is common to be alone, but will not restrict freedom by its presence. A lonely girlfriend-neighbor will feed her dinner and just listen, letting her pleasant evening pass. A friend and colleague can inform in time about all the gossip and warn if the chef has a bad mood. As you can see, the representatives of the stronger sex also consider us, women, very useful for maintaining friendly relations. But here the presence of intima in them is treated somewhat differently. "Sex can sometimes be a companion of friendship," many men believe. And they believe in it even when an intimate relationship penetrates into a purely platonic relationship. Yes, yes, do not be surprised, but it is. After all, representatives of the strong half of humanity initially consider unfounded beliefs, in which they are talking about the fact that they are friends with women as well as with male friends. That is, in their relationship completely absent sexual component. Of course, it also happens: a young man sees in the girl who grew up next door is not an object of attraction, but someone like a sister. But it can also be different: a female friend, due to her attractiveness, causes him to have a definite desire, although he can be restrained. Well, you must agree, because men are not animals to have sexual relations with everyone who they like. Therefore, they are quite capable of making friends with us, although this does not mean that on a proposal to make love expressed by a friend, they will be able to say a firm "no". And what can happen, in the opinion of men, next? "I was fine with you, but let's remain friends" - they pronounce this phrase just in case, realizing that romantic relations will not work anyway, because they already have a beloved woman, or he simply does not see in you his only . And often this is not a trivial pretense: many men are really convinced that nothing terrible has happened, just sex suddenly appeared in friendship. After all, people tend to change, and even if at first they looked at each other indifferently, then at some point from one or the other side a spark of interest flared up, even temporarily, so to speak, one-time. A man and a woman who were close to each other in a friendly relationship do not necessarily begin to meet as lovers, do not seek to live together and so on. And if the girls tend to worry and suffer from the fact that they had a one-time sexual relationship with a friend, then young people feel this is simpler: well, it was. And in one, and in another case, the nature is to blame, which made women monogamous, and men polygamous. That's why we are characterized by emotional throwing on the topic "And now what?", "And how to go on?", "What to do?" And so on. And the men are perceived simply - for them little has changed, unless there are romantic feelings for a friend. And so for them, friendship does not end there, where sex appears. Although, of course, there can be exceptions. "I'm not ready to be just a friend" - yes, it's not unusual for men to say that after a love night with a woman who was previously considered only a girlfriend. Speech, again, is that there is always a sexual background in different sexual relations, even if you and your good friend do not give yourself a report. And after the intimate intimacy appears in the friendship, the man is quite capable of instantly overestimating how exactly he should treat a woman. Perhaps, now you seem to him an ideal, which he sought for so long and found so close. Perhaps he was in love with you for a long time and was just waiting for a convenient moment to become your lover. Whatever it was, but in this case, friendly relations can be considered exhausted. And whether they grow into something more, depends on the desire of both. From all that has been said, we can conclude: in pure form, there can be no friendship between a man and a woman. This opinion is shared by many psychologists and sexologists. After all, we all live, perceiving the world around us through the prism of our own feelings and experiences, where a huge role is assigned to the inherent instincts to fulfill the so-called "program" - to continue the race. Therefore, the arising friendly relations between a man and a woman will always have a duality, where in the foreground there will be purely human interest, and in the background - the sexual component and the desire associated with it. Observations of specialists showed another quite predictable result: women are more ready to make friends with representatives of the opposite sex. It is they who agree to cope with attraction and give preference to platonic communication. And to maintain a friendly relationship, even when they appear in sex, men prefer, although they can not guarantee that the sex will be one-time. They believe that good sex is not a hindrance to friendship. Although most women hold the opposite view. Therefore, if you want to keep friendship, then you need to protect it and try to protect it from the appearance in these relations of something more. Otherwise, after the experienced proximity, making them just friendly in your understanding will be almost impossible. And it's not easy to find good friends. We advise you to read: