All misfortunes are actually given to us, so that oursouls got stronger. (John Gray) We live in an era of adversity; but life at all times presented people with ups and downs, luck and trouble. Problems are part of the overall process of life. Even the happiest people, all of whom are considered lucky and daughters of fortune, occasionally face adversity, and a black streak of failure in their life comes from them. But why does it seem to us that misfortunes never overtake such people, and if their life is striped, then each strip is only white? The whole point is how they behave during such periods of their lives. Positive in nature, these people are able to overcome difficulties without bitterness and regret. They do not hesitate to ask for help and support when they need them. When the white band ends and they are overtaken by a series of failures, optimistic people take lessons from situations in which others just drop their hands and try to see something good, even in the worst. They manage their own destiny and create their own lives. Such people, we think, never live in a world of suffering; However, this does not detract from the feeling of unhappiness, which in them can be very deep, and sometimes even devastating. They simply "work through" these feelings, which can not disappear overnight, while others just fall to the very bottom of despair when they are overtaken by a series of failures.

Why do not we take an example from the best?

If you asked people who can fightadversity, share experiences with you, they would tell you about the six steps that must be taken first, so that the white band in your life will quickly come:

First of all, admit to yourself thattrouble really happened to you. Admit to myself that in our life there has come a black streak, we, however strange it may seem, thereby reduce the emotional shock from the adversity that has fallen on us.

And now try to understand that all the misfortunesare temporary and rarely affect not the individual stages of life, but the entire fate of a person. You can lose your job, money, housing; but your family still loves you, friends are willing to put a shoulder, you yourself - are alive and well. You have retained the most important values, and everything else can be made.

Awaken the feeling of gratitude. Be grateful for what you have, instead of complaining about what you lost.

Realize that you have the opportunitycontrol your response to life's difficulties. As soon as you begin to experience pain, immediately change the focus - look at things with a different look. On the positive side, in any case, there is every event, even the most unpleasant - it all depends on how to look at it.

Achieve a higher state of consciousness, learn to control your thoughts, feelings and reactions. This will allow you to see things more clearly by reducing emotional involvement.

Decide what practical steps you can taketake today to help yourself. No matter how small these steps are, each of them is important, because it brings you closer to solving the problem. And in the end you will get to the place where you really feel that you have the strength to cope with the situation.

Several ways to deal with troubles

Life really is unpredictable, andsometimes troubles take us by surprise. And then it is very important to know what to do if in life the black strip has changed the band of luck. At a time when we are going through a difficult period, the availability of a concrete plan of action can help us. Only action will help to clear the way in the jungle of adversity, to give us space to move forward! Items of this plan may vary, it all depends on the individual and on the difficult situation in which he fell. But the basic actions are still the same for any case:

• One of the first stages of grief and other forms of unhappiness is, as a rule, failure

We refuse to acknowledge what happened to ussomething bad. And we try to hide from everyone what happened to us. This can only aggravate the situation, because we do not give ourselves the opportunity to cope with the reality of the situation and rationally perceive the consequences of the trouble. The earlier we accept reality, the higher our chances to go further. Remember, what successful people have shared with us in the field of the article - they, too, first of all acknowledge the fact of the onset of the bad luck zone.

• Mobilize all your internal forces, try not to let despair take possession of you

Do not panic at all. Do you know what could happen to a man who does not swim, who will suddenly fall into the water? There are two options: in the first case, he will start to panic, randomly blunder, and eventually swallow the water and drown if the help does not arrive in time. And in the second case, this person will try to calm down, and the water itself will push it to the surface. Remaining calm and relaxing muscles, he can control the position of his body and will keep his head above the water. So in life - if you remain calm, you have much more chances to settle the situation.

• Break a difficult situation into smaller, more manageable and solvable tasks

You can even eat an elephant, biting it off once forat once on a small piece! Using this simple strategy - to break a complex problem into a few simpler ones - you can quickly see the ways of solving the problem. You will dispel anxiety, restore organized, rational thinking and direct your thoughts in the right direction to see the next right move.

• Be active, not allowing despair to discourage your desire to act

You can always find a way out! Taking away from us some of the same opportunities, deprivation gives us a chance to take advantage of others. Imagine a person who has lost his arms or legs. It's terrible for him and for everyone who loves him. And, of course, no one would dare to condemn the unfortunate person if he fell into depression and lost his will to live. But we all saw (and in real life, and thanks to television and the Internet) a lot of examples of people who survived such a loss and directed their efforts to what they can do, not what they could not. An armless musician, kicking beautiful pianofortes with his feet, an artist who paints pictures, holding her teeth, a ballet dancer without one foot, who dared to go on stage and dance with the same crippled ballerina - so dance that you do not notice a crutch at all guy, or lack of hands with the girl! These strong people set their own goals when they lose the opportunity to do something in the usual way, and work on their solution. They not only react to the tragic accident in their life, but purposefully seek ways to continue active life. We need to learn from them not to fall into despair and at any cost to seek a way out of the band of bad luck and bad luck.

• Look for support and do not give up the proposed help

There is absolutely no need to fight withtroubles and troubles alone. An interesting fact: the scientists conducted all sorts of research, trying to unravel the phenomenon of long-livers. You can invent all sorts of theories, starting from the characteristics of nutrition, the environment and other factors that could cause venerable elders such longevity. But one common factor unites these people who have managed in their long life to survive not one hardship - it is their relationship with other people, the ability to accept help and provide support to everyone who needs it.

• Very often victims of failures and misfortunes remain in captivity from their past

They have a feeling that they were let down byor betrayed circumstances, people or even life itself. Their souls are wounded and bleeding, the joy of life is lost. Remaining thinking in their past, which brought them misfortune, they seem to agree that unpleasant events can happen again. It is necessary to take responsibility for your life, for your physical, psychological, emotional and spiritual well-being, and not let all the circumstances and situations that you face manipulate you as a puppet.

• Stay in front of danger

Persistence allows you to cope with troubles,overcome stress and be able to recover from grief, gaining valuable experience. Each of us has the potential to recover from failures and return to normal life. If we do not use this potential, then with time we lose it. But we can increase our ability to overcome difficulties and get amazing results even under the most difficult conditions. It is the desire to learn how to successfully cope with failures and adversity that can make us successful and happy - both now and in the future. And they will also say about us that we are lucky and lucky.

What else can you do to get these useful skills faster?

Reread the list of all that it would beIt is useful to pay your attention, and choose the most suitable items for yourself. You can expand this list by adding what most would help you to withstand the storms of life.

• Rejoice in life, every ordinary day;
• Every morning, smile at your reflection in the mirror;
• Calmly relax in the evening, knowing that in the day you did all that was required of you;
• Rely on your curiosity, to learn something new every day, expanding the boundaries of your world;
• Exercise your sense of humor, laugh as much as possible;
• Perceive communication with people who have experienced mental trauma, as an opportunity to study at university life;
• Look, read, listen to people's stories,who found the strength to survive unhappiness and return to normal life. It inspires us to become more stable in the face of our own misfortunes;
• Write down or draw your emotions. Try to talk more often about what is good in every event that is not entirely pleasant for you;
• Try to be more often in such an environment that causes you to revive and raise emotions;
• Get a pet for yourself - it will help you to immerse yourself in joyful experiences;
• Come up with a new hobby;
• Read the statements of wise people, quotes about the strength of the spirit and overcoming difficulties - it's very good "cleanses" the brains!
• Exercise not only the mind, but the body. Previously, it was not for nothing that they said that "in a healthy body - a healthy mind";
• Periodically spend time alone or with the closest person in the bosom of nature. This very well relieves stress and tension;
• At least occasionally visit as a volunteerhospitals and hospices. You will not only feel satisfied with the opportunity to help someone, but you will be able to make sure that your troubles are nothing compared to the misfortune of some people.

There is one very good exercise. Imagine that you are swimming in a boat along the river of life. Sometimes the river is calm, the sun is shining and around - a beautiful landscape. But at the turn the river starts to boil, it starts to rain, thunders a thunder. And you are still in the boat and remain calm. You know that the rain will soon end. You can not control the rain, but you can control the boat so that it swims forward, to where the river again flows smoothly and calmly. So it is in life. Do not try to control the circumstances, command only yourself. Just become the captain of your life.

Overcoming adversity is difficult, but it is always possible to overcome them

Overcoming adversity can be difficult intimes of despair, when a black period of misfortunes and misfortunes begins. It is not surprising that at first we can feel pain, but the acquired skills and self-built stamina will help us to overcome any changes in life. Our life can be like a roller coaster - with numerous ups, downs and turns. You must follow your thorny path, without stopping and not coming back. It may even be scary at first, but you do not give up! Life can be harsh and tough to us; but just like flying on a roller coaster, a difficult time will come to an end, a white stripe will come and the disaster will remain in the past. Trouble means change - our lives are changing, we are changing ourselves. But it depends only on us, whether we will find the strengths and opportunities in the end to return to normal life and move on it further. We advise you to read:

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