Do you sometimes look at your child with surprise? Do you think that the crumb was replaced? Just yesterday, the complaisant and obedient kid began to remind you of the descent of hell? Of course, in such cases, parents are frightened and confused, they often do not know how to behave in this or that situation. And where to turn for help, parents also do not always understand. Very often child psychology for parents is one big mystery. This information in this article is designed to help parents understand such a difficult thing as child psychology. We went in a non-standard way and outlined the information in the form of a message from the child to their parents. We hope that you will draw the right conclusions from the information received. And remember that the psychology of school-age children is strikingly different from the psychology of toddlers. Therefore, be sure to consider the age of your child. Mom and dad! 1. Do not indulge all my whims and pamper me unnecessarily! I am perfectly aware that not everything that I ask is really necessary for me. It's just this way that I feel you - how much you will give me in response to my demands. 2. Do not be afraid to show a certain firmness in communicating with me. For me, your firm, but fair tactic of behavior in relations with me will bring me much more benefits than indulging all my whims. Only in this way will I be able to occupy my intended place and learn to achieve my goals in life. 3. It is not worth responding to the enormous abundance of completely meaningless and frankly stupid questions that I so much like to ask you. I'm completely uninterested in the answers to them - I just want to get your constant attention to my persona, because all children are inherently eerie egoists. Do not indulge my selfishness, otherwise in an adult life I will have a very hard time. 4. Do not panic and experience my feelings about me about any, even the most trivial illness. I very quickly understand that this is the easiest way to get your attention, sympathy and a certain number of indulgences. You do not want to get a little simulator? 5. Do not treat me like a child of a younger age. In this case, I risk to bring you a lot of trouble, becoming a crybaby and a whiner. And you will have to do for me even those things that I myself can perfectly handle. 6. In no case should you succumb to all my provocations. As a rule, all such antics are just an attempt to expand my limits, and at the same time once again test your nerves and patience for strength. 7. If I have committed any wrongdoing, do not ask me to explain to you why I did it. To give you an answer is a very difficult and sometimes impossible task, because very often I myself do not know why I do this anyway - this is a normal feature of child psychology. 8. Do not constantly test my truthfulness. My psyche is not yet strong enough, so under constant pressure, I very quickly start to tell lies. Do not provoke the development of a negative habit of telling lies. 9. Do not ignore my fears, but do not give them too much attention. Such behavior can lead to the fact that I will be afraid even more. But it is very important for me to learn what courage is. 10. Never promise me what you can not do. And if you promised - be sure to keep your promises. Otherwise, my faith in you can be shaken and I will not trust you. 11. Be strictly consistent with me. Once forbidding or allowing me anything, never change your mind. Otherwise, I will be confused and will constantly try to expand the scope of what is permitted. This will cause a lot of trouble for you and me. 12. Do not nag at me all the time and do not grumble at me for any little things that do not deserve special attention. In this case, at the subconscious level, I will begin to defend myself against constant attacks and miss everything that you say, by the ears. 13. Do not constantly read me notations and conduct explanatory work just like that, without any of my faults, only for preventive purposes. You will be very surprised to learn how much I know about what is good and what is bad. 14. By no means tell me how perfect and sinless you are. I can have a persistent feeling of worthlessness and impossibility to reach your level. As a result, I will grow insecure in myself. 15. Do not worry too much when you hear from me the words: "I hate you." I do not in any way think so really! I love you very much, I just want you to repent of your words or to abolish the punishment. 16. Mom and Dad! Do not manipulate the words of love! Do not tell me that you love me, and immediately ask for something. Thus, you let me know that love is something like a change of coin. In the end, I'll start bargaining with you. And believe me, you will definitely not be the winner. 17. Do not treat my mistakes and wrongdoings as if I had committed some terrible sin. I'm the same person as you are. Just still small. But, nevertheless, I, like you, have the right to make mistakes and learn from them the appropriate lessons. This stage is very important for the process of becoming a person. In the end, I will be afraid to do anything at all, so as not to be mistaken. 18. And never, Mom and Dad, do not protect me from the consequences of my own mistakes. After all, I, just like you, learn from my mistakes. And do not forget that I really like trying new things and experimenting - only so I can know the world. You have to put up with it. 19. Do not try to point out to me the inadmissibility of my behavior directly in the midst of the conflict. When I experience strong emotions: resentment, pain, fear, anger - I very badly perceive any attempts to talk to me. Your words simply will not achieve their goal. It is much more reasonable to just suppress my unwanted behavior. But it's better to postpone the conversation to a later time, when you and I calm down. 20. Never make comments to me, and certainly do not scold me with strangers. Such a line of behavior will only provoke a violent protest reaction. Your words will have a much greater effect if you talk to me in a more relaxed atmosphere, and most importantly, face to face. 21. Often praise me because my successful development is impossible without your approval and understanding. However, do not praise me just like that, undeservedly - any praise must be earned. 22. It is very important for me to know that I was born in love and mutual understanding of parents. Believe me, even if I'm still too young and do not understand something, I still feel when something is unsuccessful in my family. Do not swear in my presence, please! 23. I will not complain to you if I notice that you pay more attention to my brother or sister, and, as it seems to me, love. I'm just going to attack and offend the one who gets your love. I do not do this to annoy you. Just so I'm trying to restore justice. 24. Already in 6 - 7 years, I begin to be interested in the opposite sex. Do not pretend that you do not notice my questions, or give me knowingly false information. If you can not answer my questions, friends and older comrades will very quickly explain to me that they found me not in cabbage and did not bring a stork. And believe me, this can be done in a form that you just do not like. You can tell me about the relationship between the sexes in an understandable and accessible form for my age. 25. Do not hide my feelings and feelings from me. Of course, because of my age, I can not understand everything that is happening to you. And, frankly, excessive frankness can only hurt my psyche. However, you should not smile and say that everything is good, if you feel bad. I'll still feel it. 26. Mom and Dad, do not worry because we spend too little time together. It is much more important for me not how much we are together, but how exactly we spend this time. You can be around for a couple of days and not hear each other, and you can spend together only a few minutes a day, but at the same time understand each other with a half-word. 27. Do not apply physical strength to me as an argument. Of course, from the slap with me nothing bad will happen. But also good - I can come to the conclusion that the one who is stronger - is always right. And this will lead to a huge number of problems in my life, both in childhood and later. 28. At that time in my life, when the influence of peers on me is becoming especially strong, be extremely attentive to me. And although at this time the opinion of friends is more important to me than yours, I desperately need your help, protection and support. Although, of course, I myself do not realize this and in every possible way try to reject your help. At this time, it makes sense to show some kind of firmness and to insist on your own - later, when I grow up, I will be grateful to you for it. 29. Be friends with me, Mom and Dad! Of course, first of all you are my parents, but this should not stop you from becoming my friends. So you in my eyes will have a double authority: both parents and friends. Do not worry about that, then I will go over our limits in our relations - believe me, I feel very thin even when I'm very young. 30. Try to behave so that your words do not disagree with your actions. I feel very subtle all the lies and lies in your words. And if you do not do what you yourself demand, I will conclude that double standards are normal. And do not be surprised then, in whom I grew up such a hypocrite.
Child psychologists and educators argue thatthe psychology of child rearing should be based primarily on the love of parents for their child. No, even the most sophisticated, psychological techniques will not help you to establish relationships with your child, if he does not feel your love and understanding. However, it is also not worth remembering that blind love is also highly undesirable. Constantly indulging the child's whim, permissiveness sooner or later will inevitably lead to the child becoming extremely spoiled. At any age a child should know such words as it is possible, impossible, not now. Otherwise, you risk getting home a selfish despot. And believe me - if a three-year-old kid, angrily stomping with his foot, is funny, then the teenager runs the risk of driving you crazy. If, for whatever reason, you are unable to cope with the problems that you have in your relationship with your child, do not hesitate to ask for help from qualified specialists. It is quite easy to get help from a child psychologist. If your child is still young, you can turn to the psychologists working in your kindergarten. And in case you live in a big city and you are allowed your financial situation, you have the opportunity to apply to special crisis centers, specializing in psychology of preschool children. If it is a teenager, then you can help any psychologist - both adult and family. By the way, the help of a family psychologist in the event of a conflict will be very useful for both sides - the teenager and his parents. And, perhaps, parents are much more than the child himself. After all, most conflicts arise precisely because of incorrect tactics of parents' behavior. We advise you to read: