The first difficulties after childbirth A young mother can not be immediately after her return homeleave one with this tiny weeping lump, because immediately there are many problems: how to feed, how to swaddle, how to bathe. Well, if at first an experienced woman will be next - her mother or mother-in-law, who will help her get used to a new role. But what if a young mother is left alone? Sometimes an apartment in such a family turns into a laundry factory, then into a drying room, then into an ironing room, then into a store of dirty laundry and dirty dishes. Indeed, without the skills of caring for a child while simultaneously managing a household, without a clear plan for household affairs, determining their priority and consistency, it is impossible to be a good hostess, a loving, caring mother and wife. To bathe, swaddle, wash, iron, feed, lay to sleep, prepare food, clean the apartment - the head goes around! Where can I remember my husband and my own appearance? It's no wonder that many young mothers do not withstand such loads and soon begin to experience chronic fatigue, they are constantly tending to sleep, apathy and even indifference appear. What to do? Where is the exit? Unfortunately, there are no ready-made recommendations, it all depends on the conditions that have developed in a particular family. However, some tips can be given to the young mother, and people around her, and, above all, to the young father. In the first few weeks after the birth of a child, many women are unnecessarily worried about him. They think that they can not cope with their maternal duties, and feel insecure, are in constant tension. Then they are upset because of any speck on the skin of the baby, then it seems to them that he is sick, then he sucks badly, then he cries much. Such mothers often come to the baby's bed when he sleeps, hears, he breathes. Excessive concern of the mother in the first period of the appearance of the child, apparently, is a necessary biological program, provided by nature. It makes even the most carefree and frivolous mothers take their duties seriously. The first weeks of a child's life are really a difficult time - the newborn adapts to the new conditions of life, and you acquire the experience of motherhood, learn to understand the child and take care of him. Closer to 3 months, these difficulties are left behind, the kid becomes more calm and cheerful, capable of closeness to you, a smile, joy and pleasure from communicating with you to reward for all the recent upheavals. Another problem: you have heard enough about conversations about the upbringing of children, read some special literature, but because of lack of experience you do not know what to stop and what rules of care and upbringing to adhere to. Believe me, it's better not to take literally everything that your relatives and friends advise you. Do not be afraid to trust your common sense, do not complicate the deliberately upbringing of your child. Follow your intuition and follow, if possible, the advice of a doctor. Remember: the main thing that a kid needs is your love and care. Whenever you take your child in your arms, at first do not be very dexterous and confident, feed, bathe, transplant him, tenderly talk with him, smile at him, the kid feels your care and tenderness, feels himself necessary and loved. And this is the main thing that is biologically necessary for human socio-cultural development. Sometimes mothers take motherhood too seriously and see only responsibilities in it. But this is also not comparable pleasure. Try to enjoy every day communication with the baby, monitoring the changes that are happening to him, more and more of his abilities, abilities and abilities. Let it become your life's attitude. Separately, let's talk about the relationship of the couple. The reaction of the husband to the appearance of the child is difficult. On the one hand, it is certainly a joy. But on the other - and a subconscious sense of its uselessness. Outwardly, this feeling can be manifested in excessive irritability, the desire to spend time in the company of friends, even in giving signs of attention to other women. The young father must remind himself that his wife is much more difficult, since all her worries and anxiety about the baby, huge nervous, physical and mental stress have fallen on her shoulders. It is at this time that the wife needs help, moral support and the love of her husband. Helping his wife in the household and caring for the child, the young father will feel needed, the family ties will strengthen, the wife will appreciate his care and participation. There are men who are sure that caring for a child is not a masculine affair. This is not true. Scientific evidence shows that spiritual closeness, mutual understanding, friendly relations between father and children are easier to form in families where the father is early, from the first weeks, or better - the days of the child's life, takes part in caring for the son or daughter. The father should at least occasionally feed the child, wash his diapers, every day to communicate with the baby, play with him. Most fathers prefer to walk with a child when he sleeps and does not show himself. This is not enough for the father to have a close relationship with him. The mother sometimes needs to leave the child with the father, so that he can take care of the baby, at least for the time when she will be in the store or the doctor. Only having entered into communication with the child, the father will feel the "taste" of parental love. We advise you to read: