Almost before all young parents earlyor there is a late question about the need to give the child to a kindergarten, because, alas, but maternity leave can last a maximum of three years. And not every family has an opportunity to use the services of a nanny. And grandmothers do not always have the opportunity, and yes. which is a sin to hide, the desire to spend days with his grandchildren. Here - then to help parents and comes kindergarten. It's no secret that today it's very, very difficult to get to kindergarten. However, the problem of how to get into kindergarten will not be considered in the framework of this article. Often happens so that parents manage to achieve practically impossible - to receive a place in a kindergarten. However, they do not have time to rejoice at this, as they face an even greater headache - the child does not want to go to the kindergarten. And here very important adaptation of the child in a kindergarten. Of course, you can brush aside the child's unwillingness, ignore the wild screams in the morning and drive the child to the kindergarten forcibly, comforting that sooner or later he will get used to it. However, children's psychologists argue that this tactic of parents' behavior has a very negative impact on the fragile child's psyche. And often the consequences of such trips to a kindergarten can poison a child's life for many, many years.
Reasons for refusing a child from attending kindergarten
So, this problem is not necessaryignore, and urgently resolve. And the first thing that needs to be done is to understand why the child is naughty, does not want to go to the kindergarten. All children are absolutely unique personalities, with their own way of thinking, a look at life and ways of expressing emotions. Therefore, the reasons why a child actively protests against visiting a kindergarten can also be very different. And, accordingly, the ways of solving this problem must also be different. Moreover - each child requires his own individual approach. As the statistics show, parents themselves are often responsible for the formation of a negative attitude towards the kindergarten. And these problems begin at the very beginning - during the adaptation period, through which all children without exception occur. Child psychologists and physicians - therapists divide all children into three main groups, depending on how they are going through this most adaptive period:
Very often parents ask aboutfactors affect the course of the adaptation period. One of the most important factors is the age at which the child began to attend kindergarten. And, in spite of the fact that in the nursery group of the kindergarten the reception of children starts at the age of 1.5 years, and therapists, and children's psychologists do not strongly recommend giving the child to kindergarten before he turns three. Otherwise, if the child is very small, parents will certainly encounter both frequent illnesses of their baby, and with various neuropsychic disorders. However, even if the child has gone to a kindergarten at an older age, it is not worth hoping for a very light, and certainly less rapid, adaptation, otherwise one can be very disappointed. Typically, the duration of the adaptation period is approximately one month. But, naturally, it can vary very much - from a week to several months, depending on the individual characteristics of each particular child. 
What can cause psychological discomfort to the child?
Incidentally, the unwillingness of a child to go to a childgarden, fear of it in the first days, and even weeks after the beginning of the visit are completely understandable and natural. Moreover - they indicate that the psychological development of the child is absolutely normal. There are several main factors that give the child the greatest psychological discomfort:
- Environment
As everyone knows, the most important condition forpsychological comfort and confidence in the child is vitally important for stability. However, the environment in the kindergarten is radically different from the home environment. And often a child out of emotional balance can bring out such trifles, to which an adult person would not even pay any attention - the color of the curtains, bed linen, lighting and so on.
- Daily regime
There is one truism-beforegive the child to a kindergarten, be sure to gradually translate it into that regime of the day that will be in the kindergarten. However, almost always parents ignore this very sensible advice. And as a result, a child who has got used to sleep till 10 - 11 o'clock in the morning, will inevitably protest against the fact that he is forcibly removed from a warm bed at 7 am and almost dragged to kindergarten. Yes, and my beloved mother will leave. Well, how can it not be bitter to cry? In order to avoid unnecessary irritating factor for the child's psyche, it is necessary to know the daily routine in the kindergarten that the child will visit. And to begin, at least a month before the expected date of the first visit to the kindergarten, begin to teach the child to him. In this way, parents will very much facilitate the life of themselves and their baby.
- Eared child's ego
Another factor against which very muchvery many children protest - this is a collective. And this is not surprising - for several years the whole world has been revolving around the child, his feelings, desires and needs. And now the child is surrounded by a large number of children, and he is no longer the center of attention, since the educator, with all his great desire, simply can not physically give all his attention to each child individually. As a rule, this is especially severe traumatic factor for those children who are single or younger in the family. Because it's a sin to conceal - younger children are always a little more spoiled, even if the parents try their best not to divide children in any way. In order to reduce the severity of this traumatic factor, psychologists advise as often as possible to surround the baby with children - at playgrounds, children's parties.
- Strange people
A large number of unfamiliar people,who begin to surround the child who went to the kindergarten. Teachers, nannies, musical and sports workers - it is extremely difficult for a child to get used to them. The child begins to experience severe psychological stress, which is manifested by screaming and crying. In order to avoid this, it is necessary to take care of the child's socialization in a timely manner. Do not keep crumbs at home, away from society. The more often a child communicates with older people, the more painless it will be for him to adapt to the kindergarten. The child can communicate with distant relatives, friends of mother and father, in the end, with grandmothers on the bench at the entrance. By the way, very many children's psychologists advise parents to find an opportunity, and in advance to acquaint the child with the tutor in the kindergarten. As a rule, teachers are not against this and are happy to allow the baby to be brought a little earlier than he will go to a kindergarten. In addition, in no case can not be ignored during the adaptation period and so recommended by both psychologists and educators joint stay in the mother and child group. It greatly facilitates the course of the adaptation period. And this is not surprising: on the one hand, the child is always with his mother, and on the other hand - he has the opportunity to get acquainted with the team, the surrounding environment. And those parents who immediately lead a child for the whole day face much more problems than those who were in this difficult time for the child to adapt to the kindergarten next to him.
- Absence of a number of mothers
For any child, mom is not even a centeruniverse, this is the whole universe. And in the kindergarten the child is forced to part with his beloved mother. And it's not surprising - because before - you were together inseparably almost all the time. Often, this stress factor is one of the most severe in the period of adaptation of the child. Do not be angry with a crying child who desperately grabs you for clothes - he really sincerely believes that your mother can leave and not return for him. And the fact that both yesterday and the day before yesterday you came back for him, and today you too will return, and any other reasonable arguments can not abate the panic fear of the child. In order to facilitate the morale of the child, it is necessary to teach the child in advance that the mother sometimes leaves. But always comes back. From the earliest leave the crumb for at least a short time - with your dad, grandmother, girlfriend. And during the adaptation period in the kindergarten the child will be much easier. By the way, children's psychologists give parents another very useful advice. Often it happens that the teacher distracts the child by talking, or by toys. And when the attention of the toddler will switch from mom to anything else, she gives her a sign so that she goes unnoticed. However, this should not be done in any case. Think about it - because the child very quickly again will remember you. And what feelings will the child experience, discovering that mom is not around? Disappointment, resentment, and in the worst case, a bitter feeling of being betrayed. And the worst thing is that a child with a very high probability will no longer trust you. And believe me - this will lead to a huge number of problems, and for the rest of my life. It's not for nothing that psychologists claim that absolutely all psychological problems of people take their roots precisely from childhood.
- Uncertainty
Another reason why a child does not want togo to kindergarten, is a banal fear of the unknown. The child is simply afraid of what he does not know. Often parents, hearing about it from psychologists, are surprised and object - but after all the child goes to a kindergarten already a week - two! However, remember that stability is important for the child? A sense of stability in any person, not just the child, is developed about a month after the radical changes in life. So is there really nothing to be done in this case? Of course, you can. Parents should learn in advance, on the eve of the tutor, what is expected next day - which classes, which games, menus. And be sure to tell the child about the whole evening, before going to sleep. And on the way to the garden again tell about it. A few days later, when the child is convinced that he knows in advance exactly what to expect, he will stop fearing the unknown in the kindergarten. 
If the problem does not occur immediately
Rarely enough, but still it happens thatThe problem does not arise immediately. The child for a long time - a few months, and sometimes even years, with a keen interest in kindergarten. But suddenly, unexpectedly, not for anything, from the bottom, categorically refuses to go to the kindergarten. What happened? Why does the child refuse to go to kindergarten in this case? There may also be several reasons. We will consider the most basic of them: Conflict with a specific educator. Sometimes it happens that the child willingly goes to a kindergarten to one tutor, and at the sight of another rolls in hysterics. Do not abuse the child at all. At home quietly talk to him, and find out - why does a crumb so do not like a particular educator. If the child complains that the caretaker is screaming, or mistreating children, be sure to check this information, talk with the other parents. And if the words of the baby are confirmed, be sure to talk about it with the head of the kindergarten - after all, the pre-school educational institution is not a place where employees can give vent to their emotions, much less ripping off their bad mood on unrequited children. If the child simply is silent, and does not want to tell anything, parents can go for a little trick. Play with the child in kindergarten! During the game, watch closely the words and gestures of the baby - sooner or later you will get full information about what is happening with your child in the kindergarten. Well, then you need to act on the situation. Very rarely, but you have to change the group, or even a kindergarten. Very often, the reason that a child is being naughty and does not want to go to a kindergarten is banal boredom. The child is absolutely uninteresting in the kindergarten, and as a result he wants to stay at home, where the possibilities for entertainment in the child are much greater. In this case, the only thing that parents can do is to talk with teachers who work in a kindergarten. If this does not change anything, and the child will continue to be frankly bored, parents will have nothing else to do but teach the child to entertain himself and give him his favorite toys and games to the kindergarten. However, remember that the kindergarten is visited by different children - and there is no guarantee that the new PSP will be broken on the first day.
In which case does not the kindergarten ever exist?
However, to the great regret, in which cases,If a child does not want to go to a kindergarten, it is better not to drive him there. Otherwise, the consequences can be extremely difficult. Such cases include:
- Too long period of adaptation, without any improvement: more than three months.
- Changed to the side of excessive aggression behavior.
- Severe nervous stress accompanied by enuresis, or severe nighttime fears.
If, for any objective reasons, uparents do not have the slightest opportunity to abandon the kindergarten, do not waste time believing that soon everything will go by itself. It is more reasonable to seek help from a child psychologist, for whom adapting children to a kindergarten is a very familiar matter.
